What to say when someone insults you

These phrases help you take control,

While staying calm and respectful:

1) “That felt personal – is that what you intended?”
Forces the other person to own or walk back their aggression

2) “I’m happy to listen when we can talk respectfully”
Signals openness, but only if mutual respect is present

3) “I’m going to stay focused on finding a solution”
Maintains professionalism and keeps things productive

4) “That doesn’t move this conversation forward”
Highlights the futility of insults and redirects focus

5) “I’m not going to respond to personal attacks”
Shows you won’t be pulled into a toxic exchange

6) “I don’t accept that characterization”
Disarms the insult by rejecting its premise

7) “That felt out of line – let’s try this another way”
Clearly marks the behavior as unacceptable, then moves on

8) “I’m here to have a productive conversation”
Signals the standard you expect from the interaction

9) “That statement doesn’t align with who I am”
Calmly separates your identity from their attack

10) “I’m open to feedback if it’s respectful”
Invites constructive dialogue and sets a boundary

11) “I’m more interested in understanding your point”
Shows grace and redirects towards productive dialogue

12) “I’m comfortable with myself regardless of your words”
Shows quiet strength and self‑assurance

13) “We can disagree, but I expect mutual respect”
Acknowledges differences while setting boundaries

14) “I’ll give you space to reconsider that”
Shows restraint and gives the person a chance to recalibrate

15) “I’m not here to win an argument, I’m here to solve a problem”
Elevates the interaction and sets a collaborative tone


All too often, people respond to insults with insults.

Or just as bad: they say nothing, and let the behavior continue.

But there’s another way.

Use this sheet to help.

Any other responses you’d add?