How to Fix Appraisal Conversations

Stop saying these phrases in your appraisals.

Instead, here’s what to say ⬇️

Appraisal conversations are meant to motivate.

But the wrong phrasing can turn feedback into frustration.

Here’s how to turn common damaging phrases into growth-focused dialogue:

❌ “You need to work harder.”

Instead say:
“Here’s how you can be more effective in your role.”

❌ “You’re not meeting expectations.”

Instead say:
“Let’s review expectations and how we can bridge the gap.”

❌ “This was disappointing.”

Instead say:
“I see areas for growth… let’s talk about improvements.”

❌ “You need to improve.”

Instead say:
“Here’s what’s working well and what could be stronger.”

❌ “You’re not leadership material.”

Instead say:
“Here are some skills to develop for future leadership roles.”

❌ “You always struggle with this.”

Instead say:
“This is an opportunity to improve… here’s how.”

❌ “This needs to be perfect next time.”

Instead say:
“Let’s set realistic steps for continuous progress.”

❌ “You should already know this.”

Instead say:
“Let’s go over this so you feel more confident next time.”

❌ “Your performance isn’t good enough.”

Instead say:
“Here’s what you’re doing well… let’s focus on what’s next.”

❌ “There’s no room for negotiation.”

Instead say:
“I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and discuss further.”

After working with hundreds of managers and reviewing thousands of appraisal conversations, I can tell you this: people don’t remember every word, they remember how
the conversation made them feel.

One careless phrase can stall someone’s growth. One thoughtful one can unlock their potential.

These conversations shape your culture…

They influence retention, motivation, and trust.

Get them wrong, and you lose performance. Get them right, and you build the kind of team that grows stronger after every review.

🧠 Remember; The words you choose in a review will
echo long after the meeting ends.

Say less about what went wrong, focus more on what comes next. Clarity drives progress. Respect fuels commitment.

Which of these phrases do you hear too often?