What Not to Say in High-Pressure Moments

Stress exposes real leadership.

It’s not about how you act when things are easy,
But how you show up when the pressure hits.

This guide will help you get it right:

1) Don’t say: “Calm down, it’s not that serious”
↳Because: It downplays emotions and blocks real connection
↳Instead try: “This seems intense. Want to walk through it together?”

2) Don’t say: “This isn’t acceptable behavior”
↳Because: It shames without offering support or solutions
↳Instead try: “Let’s talk about what happened and how we can improve it”

3) Don’t say: “Never mind, I’ll handle it myself”
↳Because: It takes away learning opportunities and builds resentment
↳Instead try: “Let’s go through it now so you can lead it next time”

4) Don’t say: “Why is this still incomplete?”
↳Because: It triggers defensiveness instead of encouraging progress
↳Instead try: “How’s it coming along? Is there anything getting in your way?”

5) Don’t say: “I don’t have time for this right now”
↳Because: It signals disinterest and makes others feel dismissed
↳Instead try: “Can we find time to revisit this when I can give it full focus?”

6) Don’t say: “You should know how to do this already”
↳Because: It discourages asking for help and creates shame
↳Instead try: “Let’s walk through this again to make sure it’s clear”

7) Don’t say: “I need this right away”
↳Because: It creates urgency without clarity or planning
↳Instead try: “Can you get this done by X? Let me know early if you run into any blockers”

8) Don’t say: “That’s just how we do it”
↳Because: It shuts down creative thinking and innovation
↳Instead try: “What ideas do you have for improving this?”

9) Don’t say: “Make sure this is perfect”
↳Because: It adds pressure and discourages momentum
↳Instead try: “Let’s aim for excellence, not perfection”

10) Don’t say: “You need to always be reachable”
↳Because: It creates burnout and blurred boundaries
↳Instead try: “Let’s align on when and how we’ll communicate during this stretch”

11) Don’t say: “Your feelings don’t matter right now”
↳Because: It dehumanizes the team and erodes morale
↳Instead try: “I know this is a big ask. What support would help you push through?”


What you say matters.

Don’t let stress make it be something you’ll regret.

Take a breath.
And respond like a leader.

It’s worth the effort.

Which of these do you think is most destructive?