The Three Word Tension Defuser

Your defensive responses are killing conversations.

This 3-word phrase flips the script instantly:

It happens faster than you think.

One minute you’re having a nice conversation.

The next, someone’s defensive and the whole thing goes sideways.

Here’s what most people do:
❌ Jump in with solutions, take sides, or try to “fix” the emotions.

Here’s what emotionally intelligent people do instead:
✅ They say 3 words, “Help me understand.”

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 👇🏼

Shifts from judgment to curiosity
↳ Moves you from opponent to ally instantly

Makes the other person feel heard, not attacked
↳ Their brain switches from defensive to responsive mode

Gives you information instead of assumptions
↳ You learn what’s really driving their reaction

Lowers their guard immediately
↳ People can sense genuine interest vs. manipulation

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁👇🏼

Instead of: “That’s not going to work”
Say: “Help me understand your thinking on this”

Instead of: “You’re being unreasonable”
Say: “Help me understand what I’m missing”

Instead of: “That makes no sense”
Say: “Help me understand how you see this”

Connection happens when someone feels heard.
Conflict happens when they don’t ✨

What’s one tense situation where “Help me understand” could change everything?