Reflections on our Marriage

Today Ana and myself celebrate our wedding anniversary! These years have been absolutely fantastic. We both have grown in so many ways. But this times hasn’t always been rosy, we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve had our fair share of challenges. But as the quote on top says, we’ve been by each other’s side on good days and we’ve stood closer on bad days.

When I sit here and think about the years gone by, it feels simultaneously like an instant and an epic, long journey. I cannot believe it was way back in 2016 that we were walking & singing down the aisle at Mae de Deus church, dancing our faces off at our reception to the lively music by Alcatrazz surrounded by our family and most dearest friends.

But now here we are, still working our butts off every day at our jobs AND at our lives. Because a solid marriage really is work. And while I have always considered myself fortunate to have found someone so perfect for me in Ana, it’s more than good luck. Ana and I WORK at our marriage to make it be the insanely wonderful & truly magical relationship that it is. We are lucky to have found each other, but we are not lucky to still be together, because it is not luck that keeps us there.

It is the choices and decisions that we make every day, every week, that has kept our relationship going. We choose to help each other and offer to take more of the brunt of things when the other is tired or stressed. We choose to say “I love you” as often as we can and to follow up with “you know that right?”. We choose to compliment each other (even when I suck terribly at just accepting the compliment) and we choose to be honest with each other even when it might be really hard. We choose to communicate and we choose to compromise. We thank each other for things that probably don’t need a verbal “thanks” but we do it anyway to show our appreciation. We love each other, yes, but we also choose to find ways to express that love through words and actions.

Though we are happy and fortunate in our lives at this moment, our marriage is not perfect. We get angry at times with each other, we say things we don’t mean. We don’t do enough sometimes and other times we take things for granted. But at the end of the day we REALIZE this and I think that is what makes the difference for us.

I’m not sure how anyone defines a “healthy marriage.” But, I think we have at least a “healthier marriage” because of the people who have supported us through prayer, counsel, and friendship. Our immediate family have been absolute pillars of strength. And then our extended family and friends have always been there for us. Each of you know who you are and you mean the world to us!

I think there is something so special about someone – one person – who sees you day in and day out and sees the best and the worst and chooses to love you anyway. That is an amazing gift, and it is an amazing blessing! I can’t wait to see what the next 5 years have in store for us!

Here is a song by Clint Black that we recorded for our 5th wedding anniversary! 🙂

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true

Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do

It’s holding tight, lettin’ go
It’s flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too

It’s a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn’t something that we have
It’s something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start

It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There’s so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new

We’re on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love’s not just something that we’re in
It’s something that we do

Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn’t just those words we said
It’s something that we do

There’s no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn’t someplace that we fall
It’s something that we do

3 thoughts on “Reflections on our Marriage

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