Some days you wake up already tired. Not the kind of tired a good night’s sleep fixes, but the kind that sits deeper. The kind that comes from carrying too much for too long. On those days, the advice is always the same: take a break, slow down, ask less of yourself. And sure, that sounds lovely. But real life doesn’t always cooperate.
Deadlines don’t move. Kids still need you. Work still expects results. People still show up with their needs and assumptions. The world doesn’t pause just because you’re running on empty. And that’s where the quiet pressure builds—because if the day won’t ask less of you, you feel like you have no choice but to keep pushing.
But there’s another option we don’t talk about enough.
If the day can’t be lighter, you can be gentler with yourself.
That doesn’t mean quitting. It doesn’t mean giving up on what matters. It means adjusting your expectations so they fit the version of you that showed up today, not the one you wish you were on your best day. It means accepting that effort looks different when your energy is low, and that “good enough” can still be good.
Some days, doing your best means replying slower. Some days, it means saying no without a long explanation. Some days, it means dropping a ball on purpose because your hands are already full trying to hold yourself together. That doesn’t make you irresponsible. It makes you human.
We’re taught to believe that disappointing people is always a failure. But that belief quietly turns into self-abandonment. You start choosing everyone else’s comfort over your own well-being. You start measuring your worth by how much you can endure. And eventually, something gives—your patience, your joy, your health.
The truth is, you can disappoint people and still be a good person. You can miss a deadline and still be competent. You can step back and still care deeply. Most people don’t need you at your maximum capacity all the time. They just got used to it.
And yes, it can feel uncomfortable to reset those expectations. You might worry about how it looks. You might replay conversations in your head. You might feel guilty for choosing yourself when you’ve always been the reliable one. But guilt is often just a sign that you’re breaking an old pattern, not that you’re doing something wrong.
Expecting less of yourself isn’t lowering your standards. It’s responding honestly to your current reality. It’s saying, “This is what I have today, and I’m going to work with it instead of fighting it.” That kind of self-respect builds resilience far more than constant pushing ever could.
What people rarely tell you is that rest isn’t always a full stop. Sometimes it’s a comma. Sometimes it’s doing the bare minimum and calling that enough for now. Sometimes it’s surviving the day without making it harder than it already is.
You don’t need permission to take care of yourself—but if you’ve been waiting for it, consider this your sign. You’re allowed to slow down internally even when life won’t slow down externally. You’re allowed to choose sustainability over applause. You’re allowed to protect your energy so you can show up again tomorrow.
Because the goal isn’t to never drop the ball. The goal is to make sure you don’t drop yourself in the process.
And if today is one of those days where all you can do is less—let that be enough.
Kenrick Vaz 