What’s the point of loving someone if they have to keep guessing how much they mean to you?
I think about this quite often. We spend so much of our lives trying to appear composed. We learn to hold back our excitement, keep our emotions in check, and act like things don’t affect us as much as they do. Somewhere along the way, being calm became something to admire, while being openly passionate started looking like a weakness.
And I find that a little sad.
Because some of the best things in life deserve a reaction. A big one. The kind that makes your face light up before you’ve even found the words.
Think about the last time you saw someone you love after being away for a while. Or watched your child do something for the first time. Or heard a song that took you straight back to a moment you wish you could live again.
Those feelings deserve to be felt fully. And sometimes, they deserve to be heard.
I love people who get excited about things. People who talk a little faster when they’re telling you about something they care about. People who send you five messages about a movie they’ve just watched because one message couldn’t possibly contain everything they felt. People who remember the smallest details about someone they love and make a big deal out of their achievements.
There’s something wonderful about being around someone who has never learned to be embarrassed by their own happiness.
We’ve somehow made it fashionable to act unbothered. To reply with a casual “nice” when something wonderful happens. To pretend we don’t care too much because caring deeply might leave us vulnerable.
But imagine how much warmth we lose in the process.
Someone tells you they got the job they’ve been hoping for. Celebrate with them. Ask them how the interview went. Tell them how proud you are. Make them feel like their happiness has spilled into your day too.
Your friend finally starts the business they’ve been talking about for years. Share their work. Show up when they launch. Be the person who reminds them how far they’ve come when the first few months get difficult.
Your partner walks into the room looking beautiful. Say it. Even if you’ve said it a thousand times before. Especially if you’ve said it a thousand times before.
And when your child runs towards you with a drawing that looks absolutely nothing like what they claim it is, give that masterpiece the attention it deserves. Ask about the colours. Find a place for it on the fridge.
These moments seem ordinary when we’re living them. Years later, they’re often the ones we wish we could have back.
I sometimes wonder why we’re so careful with affection. We’ll think wonderful things about people and somehow never get around to telling them. We’ll admire someone’s kindness, appreciate their patience, or feel grateful for the way they showed up during a difficult week. Then we’ll carry those thoughts around in our heads as though the other person can hear them.
They can’t.
And people need to hear good things about themselves while they’re around to enjoy them.
Tell your parents you appreciate what they’ve done for you. Call the friend you haven’t spoken to in months because something reminded you of them. Thank the colleague who quietly makes everyone’s work easier. Tell someone that a conversation you had with them years ago still stays with you.
You might forget the conversation by tomorrow. They might remember it for years.
Of course, being passionate about life goes beyond the people we love.
Be excited about your interests too.
If you love music, sing along. Badly, if that’s how it turns out. If you love writing, write about the things that keep you awake at night. If you enjoy cooking, spend an entire Sunday trying to perfect a dish that everyone else will finish eating in fifteen minutes.
Talk about the book that changed your mind. Take photographs of sunsets even though your phone already has hundreds of them. Dance at weddings. Cheer when your team scores. Laugh loudly when something is funny.
There will always be someone who thinks you’re doing too much.
Perhaps you are, by their standards.
But why should their comfort decide how much joy you’re allowed to express?
I think one of the nicest compliments you can give someone is that they make you feel comfortable being excited. You can share your good news without worrying that you’re showing off. You can talk about something you love without watching their eyes glaze over. You can be sentimental, silly, emotional, or ridiculously happy, and they’ll join you.
That’s a beautiful kind of friendship.
And I think we owe the people we love more of that energy.
We often save our biggest expressions of affection for special occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, farewells. We write long messages, make speeches, put together videos, and suddenly find the courage to say things we’ve felt for years.
I love those occasions. But there’s something even sweeter about expressing the same affection on a completely ordinary Tuesday.
A random message saying, “I was thinking about you.”
An unexpected hug while someone is making coffee.
A phone call that begins with, “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
A compliment given in front of others, when the person least expects it.
There’s no special occasion required to make someone feel loved.
As we grow older, I think it’s easy to become more guarded. Life gives us enough reasons. People disappoint us. Plans fall apart. We learn that enthusiasm sometimes ends in heartbreak and that loving someone deeply means accepting the possibility of losing them.
Those experiences change us.
Still, I hope they never make us embarrassed to care.
I hope we continue to get excited about small plans and familiar faces. I hope we keep telling people we love them, even when they already know. I hope we find ourselves at eighty years old, laughing too loudly at the dinner table, singing along to songs from our younger days, and getting ridiculously happy when someone we love walks through the door.
And I hope that when someone shares something they’re passionate about, our first instinct is to lean in and ask them to tell us more.
Because somewhere today, someone is waiting to share good news. Someone has worked hard for a moment they’re proud of. Someone is wondering whether their efforts matter. Someone you love is having an ordinary day and could use a reminder that they’re special to you.
Maybe send that message you’ve been meaning to send.
Make it a little longer than usual. Tell them exactly what you appreciate about them. And if you feel like adding a few extra heart emojis, go ahead.
