Friendship Requires EFFORT

As we grow older, some friendships may slowly start to diminish. It could be because you’ve started to grow apart, maybe you’ve become too different from each other. Sometimes we become extremely busy, and we don’t have as much time as we used to, to hang out with said friends. Maybe you’ve made new friends, and spend more time with them. Maybe you got into a relationship, and hang out with your significant other the most. Work often gets in the way, and then you have to struggle with handling friendships, relationships, your job, and spending time with your family all at once. It becomes too much sometimes, and maybe it’s a little overwhelming for you.

Nowadays it sometimes feels that behavior within friendships is trending more towards convenience. What is easy, readily available, and requires the least amount of effort.

We are busy today, yes? Most of us work way more than 40 hours a week, especially with email, texting, social media, and the new cultural development of being ever connected to work, even while at home. The boundary lines between work and home life, blurring and collapsing. We are pre-occupied with things like social media, networking, going to the gym, meal planning, commuting, and the schedules of one’s kids.

All this busyness though comes at a cost. That can be the neglect of and lesser engagement in relationships that are meaningful to us and which bring us joy. And this resulting, ultimately, in our losing those.

Without doubt quality friendships make our lives better by leaps and bounds. They lower our levels of stress, help us to feel supported and loved in both challenging times and otherwise, they offer life insight and learning potential to our lives, a sense of inspiration, as well as joy and laughter.

The keyword is quality, because shallow friendships, those that serve as fillers and mere placeholders against loneliness, the ones which still leave you a bit wanting, these do not provide the same emotional benefits.

However, emotionally close, high-quality friendships take effort. You cannot go to the gym, spend hours working hard to get fit, and then stop going while assuming to maintain the same level of strength and fitness. Your muscles will atrophy and diminish. You cannot grow a garden and then cease watering it. The flowers will wither and die. Friendship fits nicely with these metaphors.

Keeping great friends takes effort, though it’s of the most worthwhile kind. Without it, your friendship, even the best ones, they will not last.

Do not make the mistake of letting this happen, one that is sure to elicit later regret.

Go out of your way today, even if just a little bit, in order to hold onto and maintain those treasured connections that you hold dear. The ones that you know are worthwhile and that you wish to keep in your life over the long-run.

You will be thankful for having done so over the big picture of your life.


I’ve been blest with lovely friends. At my previous company, I had fantastic friends in my team. Sang this for them on my last day 🙂

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