People-Pleasing Addiction

Nobody wants to make enemies or sour relationships with others. And hence for most of us, saying “no” becomes extremely difficult. At times, it is even at the cost of our own peace of mind. Helping those you care about is definitely not the issue. However changing who you are and loosing yourself just to please someone else is not acceptable as it only ends up with you being miserable.

Changing the way we talk or deal with people, or changing the way we dress or changing your attitude towards others are some of the ways in which we lose our identity just to please others. We put on a shell of who we aren’t, adapt our lifestyle and so much more just to feel accepted and please our friends.

Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind

Dr. Seuss

One thing I’ve realised from experience is that those who matter will always stick around and love you the most when you are true to yourself. We will encounter all kinds, those who take advantage of our good intentions, those who mock us, even body-shame us, those who push and bully you into doing things you may not like.

I remember these lines from an open letter shared on someone’s blog on New Year’s Day.

  1. Don’t lose yourself trying to catch up or fit into a clique of people.
  2. Don’t lose yourself trying to impress everyone on social media or trying to be someone else.
  3. Don’t lose yourself by running the rat race.
  4. Don’t crucify or sabotage yourself trying to belong or live in a particular area of the city.
  5. Don’t lose yourself in your fears.
  6. Don’t be the only one trying to fix things.
  7. Don’t lose yourself trying to prove yourself.
  8. Don’t love your relationship more than you love yourself.
  9. Don’t give out your heart without leaving none for yourself.
  10. Don’t live another moment of your life allowing fear to dictate who you are and what you can do. 

Pretty powerful right? I call these the 10 Don’ts! At the end of the day, nobody is worth losing yourself over!

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