Of the four mantras here for happiness, today I’d like to focus on the third one – forgive those who hurt you. It is so difficult for most of us to forgive someone who has hurt us. The deeper the wound, the more we hold ourselves back from pardoning them. However what we fail to realise is that along with not healing the relationship, we are causing ourselves more harm by hollding on to grudges. We need to learn our lesson from the incident and move on. Forgetting is not an option, however forgive and move on.
Sometime back I had written an article on Ubuntu. And here is a lovely story that touched me.
An old man once had an argument with his only son. He tried to apologize many times but the young man would not listen. The father never gave up because he loved his son with all his heart, but the son would not give in, because he was too blinded by his pride.
Years passed and as the man lay in his deathbed, he made a final attempt to reconcile with his son, but still he would not listen and so the father died with a heart full of grief.
During this time the son too had a child who had now grown up into a young adult. To this child he never mentioned his father and when the young man asked about his grandfather he would tell him never to mention him again.
One day, they too were both involved in a hot argument and his son fled away as his father did many years before. The man was extremely saddened and this time he had no pride, but felt completely isolated.
He was afraid that he had lost his son forever and for the first time after many years he turned to God in prayer. At that moment something filled his heart and he realized how his father must have felt many years back.
He remembered how he had hurt his old man and only at that point he realized the extent of the hurt he had caused. The more he thought the more he understood how unjust he was with his old father, the man who gave him everything through out his life.
With these sad thoughts he felt asleep on the couch. Next morning when he opened his eyes he found himself tucked in his bed and in front of him stood his son. The man could not believe his eyes, and the two hugged each other while they cried together.
After lots of apologies, the young man explained that up till the day before he felt lots of hatred towards his father, but during the night he had a strange dream that touched his heart. He dreamt that an old man was hugging him, and as he embraced him, all his hatred turned into love. The old man then told him to forgive and forget. He then explained that as soon as he woke up he came running to his father’s house.
At this point the man told his son that on the same night, he learnt an important lesson, and how he had let his father down when he was younger. The son wanted to know more about his grandfather who he never met or even saw, and this was the most appropriate time.
The man went to an old bookshelf and fetched an old family album. He then picked an old photograph of his father and when the son saw it, he remained dumb-founded. The son then explained that the man in the photograph was the same one he dreamt of the night before.