Jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. If you’re not careful, however, jealousy and envy can grow into resentment and bitterness. And those destructive emotions could lead to a vicious downward spiral. Social media seems to amplify resentment. Spend two minutes scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and it’s easy to become convinced your friends are happier, healthier, and wealthier as they post their latest vacation photos and announce their good fortune!
So how do you stop resenting others’ success? Here are a few ways that help
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Life isn’t meant to be a competition. Drawing comparisons between yourself and other people is like comparing apples and oranges. Your journey is unique and it’s important to honor your individuality.
Whenever you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s life, remind yourself you’re not in a race. Your job is to do your best with what you’ve been given, regardless of what those around you are doing.
2. Reframe your scarcity mindset.
Just because your neighbor is wealthy doesn’t mean s/he’s taking money away from you. And a co-worker’s promotion doesn’t mean you can’t have a good job too. You may need to look at other companies or other departments, but there’s more than one perfect job out there.
It’s easy to get caught up into thinking that everything is a once in a lifetime opportunity or that other people’s success means you can’t succeed too. But in reality, very few things in life have a limited supply.
One thing that is limited, however, is time. And every minute you waste resenting someone else’s success is 60 seconds you give away.
3. Look at the big picture.
No one has a perfect life. But, the small snapshot you’re seeing may look more glamorous than it really is—especially if you’re looking at someone’s life on social media. Just because your co-worker earns more money or your neighbor is more attractive, doesn’t mean that person has a charmed life.
Rather than staying focused on someone’s good fortune, zoom out and keep things in proper perspective. You don’t know what hardships someone else may be experiencing. Even if an individual doesn’t appear to be struggling on the outside, you have no idea what sort of mental battles that person may be fighting.
4. Count your blessings
As the saying goes, envy is counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own. Counting our blessings isn’t the same as boosting our ego by reminding ourselves how we’re better than others… It’s more about refocusing on what is really important in life.