We spend far too much time with people who drag us down, add drama to our lives, and make us feel sad, helpless and hopeless. These are the people who shoot down your ideas, focus on the negative, and often play the victim.
Everyone has a bad day, or goes through a tough time, but there is a clear difference. If you want to spend less time with the vampires in your life, there is an easy solution.
Spend more time with people who lift you up.
Spending time with people who lift you up is:
Whenever I spend time with people I enjoy being around, I can’t help but smile. It can be a weekend away with my wife, choir practice at Church, or a call with my mummy or sisters. Even just a few words sent back and forth through email with my close friends can change my whole day. These people make my life better, sweeter and happier.
Talking about technology with other people, planning with colleagues or brainstorming new creative projects with clients fuels me. Those conversations and connections give me the energy I need to make changes and engage in meaningful work.
Spending time with people who lift you is calm in the chaos. When you have a stressful day, connecting with someone who gets you can ease the pain. If you are faced with a big decision or can’t find your way, those amazing people in your life will guide you, calm you, and show you the way.
People who lift you up don’t always agree with you, or have the answer, but you know they always have your back, and that they always want the best for you. That makes it simple to spend time with them and to trust their intentions. It’s simple to connect and even reconnect when you disagree or lose touch. This is love.
Spend even more time lifting them back.
Lifting them back is all of those things and so much more. Relationships will bloom when you feed them, so choose. Feed the best relationships in your life with wholeheartedness.
You can feed the others with well wishes, prayers, forgiveness and permission to let go. Moving on from a relationship that doesn’t serve either of you in the best possible way makes time for the relationships that do.
When you start devoting your time to fostering your best relationships, the others usually fade away without confrontation or conversation.
Lift people who have no one too.
Choosing to spend less time with people who sabotage your happiness doesn’t mean you can’t take time to lift people who can’t lift themselves. Give your change, a smile, a sandwich, or a few volunteer hours to people who can’t surround themselves with people who lift them. You’ll be surprised at how they lift you too.
Cut out the other stuff that doesn’t lift.
It’s not just people who bring you down. What about ..
- the nightly news?
- an upsetting Facebook feed?
- and the physical clutter?
When all of those depressing distractions go, you can really get clear about the way you spend your time, who you spend it with, and how to make those relationships bloom.
Please know how grateful I am that you lift me up, and for giving me the great pleasure of lifting you right back.