For some reason, people love to judge other people. I know firsthand, because I’m definitely guilty of doing it too. I don’t do it nearly as much as I used to, but I still catch myself doing it more often than I should.
Whenever I slip up and start becoming judgmental of others, I take a step back, and remind myself of this truth:
We usually judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest.
Seriously, think about it.
If you’re being honest with yourself, I’m sure that you can relate to some of the common examples below:
“Ugh, why can’t that mother control her unruly kids?? They are running through the store like animals!” (Translation: “I don’t feel great about my abilities as a mother, and it makes me feel a little better to judge a woman who appears to be struggling in her duties more than I am.”)
“Why is this guy’s blog more popular than mine? His blog posts look like a third-grader wrote them.”(Translation: “I wish that my blog was as popular as his is, and I’m insecure about the fact that it isn’t.”)
“This woman thinks that she’s all that because she drives a fancy car and has so much money–it’s disgusting.” (Translation: “I wish that I had as much money as she did, and by judging her as a villain, it makes me feel a little better about being broke.”)
“Look at that dude smiling all of the time, he’s so fake and annoying.” (Translation: “I wish that I was happy enough to smile all of the time. But since I’m not, I’m going to judge this guy as a phony and a fraud.”)
“Look at that fat-ass whale on the treadmill, she’s such a mess.” (Translation: “I don’t feel great about how I look, and it makes me feel good to viciously judge someone who I believe looks worse than I do.”)
Let’s get real – do you know anyone who is completely secure with him/herself who also consistently and harshly judges other people in the ways described above?
Yeah, me neither.
That’s because our judgments reveals our soft-spots. Our insecurities. Our weaknesses.
And usually, we harshly judge others because we do the same to ourselves.
Here’s how we can change that.
REMAIN IN CURIOSITY
I’m not naïve about this judgment stuff. I don’t think that it’s possible to live a life where we never judge anyone, ever. That’s an admirable goal for sure, but my goal is to offer solutions that are realistic enough for people to be willing to give them a try.
And here’s a simple one to remember next time you’re feeling the urge to be a little “judgy” of others:
Remain in curiosity and stay out of judgment.
Judgment shuts us down and keeps us from understanding the full situation. If we’re being honest, most judgments about people are based on incomplete information.
Curiosity, on the other hand, keeps us open to the possibility that there is something about the situation that we don’t fully understand.
Whenever I see people acting in ways that I think are insane, stupid, or worse–this is the question that I ask myself:
“I wonder what’s going on with that person that I don’t know about?”
I’ll admit, this may sound simple, but it’s much easier said than done.
Judging people is easy, and it some cases, it can even feel good to do it. On the other hand, being curious requires maturity, emotional intelligence, and a healthy dose of self-control to do it consistently.
How To Stop Judging Yourself
As suggested above, the ultimate cause of being quick to judge others lies at least partly in how harshly you criticize yourself. So, to stop judging others, you need to work on learning how to stop judging yourself. As well as making life less enjoyable, judging yourself limits your ability to use the Law of Attraction to its full potential. Consequently, you may align yourself with a lower vibration; focusing on the negative and attracting more of the same in all areas of your life.
However, judging yourself and others is just one possible barrier that interferes with Law of Attraction work. Once you figure out what’s holding you back, you’ll be empowered to work on positive change.
Kenrick Vaz 