As we grow older, as we continue to go through the ups and downs of life, the number of not-so-good experiences go up. And life has a way of triggering these memories, reminding us of these parts of life that we’d rather not talk about.
Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.The Lion King
We all know we can’t change the past and yet if we don’t deal with these negative/painful memories, they will continue to rob us of our present and future. You can either deal with it, let go OR suppress them till they come up again and again and again. Both are conscious decisions, it is up to you!
In addition to not changing the past here are a few other points that won’t help:
- Make yourself forget your past (impossible unless you actually lose your memory!)
- Suppress or stuff your feelings (creates other problems…)
- Hope and wait for an apology (why postpone your happiness???)
- Wallow endlessly in your misery (ah so painful)
The one thing that made sense to me is that our memories are not the problem. Our emotional response in the present to our past is what causes us pain. It is ok to have made mistakes, it is okay to have made the same mistake ten times! Accept it, forgive yourself and others if needed and move on!
Oh and this is not easy at all. The amount of time and effort it takes to move is is proportional to how badly the experience scarred you. We need to heal to be heal-thy!
thy soul, body, mindAuLogica