The struggle with life results from trying to control conditions beyond your capacity. We feel we are in control because it gives us command over our lives. Yet, unseen forces are at work in the background which include: conscious and unconscious thoughts and free will. Struggling is pointless because it doesn’t change outside circumstances, it makes matters worse. You get caught up in negative emotions instead of cooperating with life.
When we look deeply into our fears, we see that, at base, every fear is a fear of not having control
David Richo, Author of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
Plans are easy—and kind of fun—to make. It’s so tempting to try and control the trajectory of our lives by making as many of them as possible. Where we’ll go to college. When we’ll start looking for a forever love. When to have a kid or two or whichever precise number fits into the equation. Work. House. Travel. Hobbies. Retirement. Exacting detail after exacting detail.
It feels safer this way, creating a plan to ensure we live a happy, structured life. While hanging your expectations on a framework of hope is a comfortable way to keep moving forward, life doesn’t always agree to our terms. It prefers to keep us on our toes. Sure, things might not go exactly how we planned, but the end result can be a beautiful thing.
Life is full of challenges and surprises
Jil Sanders
It’s no secret, life is full of surprises when you least expect it. Some thrive in these conditions, yet others need to maintain control since they cannot cope with what life throws up.
Think back to a time when something unexpected left an indelible mark on your life. Perhaps it was a chance meeting with someone who later became a romantic interest or landing your dream job through a series of unforeseen circumstances.
Whatever the case, as the late John Lennon sang in Beautiful Boy: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
Life will surprise you if are open to possibilities, without knowing how things will unfold. Whilst expectations are good to have, don’t be bound by them since something better could unfold in the background.
Struggle ensues when you expect life to develop in a particular way. Suffering results from your resistance to what “IS” happening. That doesn’t mean you are ambivalent or do not care. Rather you are less attached to outcomes, given your passive state of anticipation.
Here’s something illuminating. No one knows what they’re doing.
We’re all making it up as we go along. There’s no roadmap revealing the future. All we can do is make informed choices based on our level of awareness and hope it lays the foundations for what will unfold.
As long as you are making informed choices, you are guided by universal intelligence and your greater self.
So, you needn’t run from your life and day-to-day living. There are surprises in every moment that will transform your life if you dare to peak behind them.
Wanting life to be other than it is seems to be the most basic form of resistance
Ezra Bayda, Author of The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear
So stop bemoaning your present conditions. The obstacles you fear is leading you to your greatest triumph if you drop your resistance to how life should be.
Untangle yourself from expectations, since this delays what is likely to evolve. Stop judging conditions as good or bad, and simply allow the pieces of the puzzle to emerge.
Be patient above all else.
It is only then you will realise life has been supporting you, though you’ve been pushing her away like a jealous lover.
Be open to what comes your way and use it to lay the foundations for each chapter of your life.
Soon enough, you will appreciate life is one big surprise and you’ve been covering your eyes the entire time, unable to appreciate what has been given to you.
Saying yes to reality — to the things we cannot change — is like choosing to turn around and sit in the saddle in the direction the horse is going
David Richo, Author of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
Kenrick Vaz 