We rarely realize how much power we hand over to other people every single day. It happens in subtle ways — a co-worker’s offhand remark ruins your mood, a friend’s delayed reply leaves you spiraling, or a stranger’s criticism online makes you question your worth. None of these people own you, yet their opinions and reactions can feel like they do.
The truth is simple but uncomfortable: the problem isn’t you. The problem is the power you unknowingly give away.
How We Give Away Our Power
We do it when we let someone else’s approval determine our self-worth. We do it when we try to fit into expectations that were never ours to begin with. We do it when we allow criticism to silence our voice, or when we measure our progress by someone else’s yardstick.
Most of this power transfer happens unconsciously. We’re taught to “be liked,” “be polite,” “keep the peace,” “do what’s expected.” Before long, we’re living a life that feels slightly off-key — not because we’re broken, but because we’re following a tune written by someone else.
Recognizing What’s Yours
The first step to reclaiming your power is to recognize where it truly lies.
Your feelings belong to you. Your reactions belong to you. Your boundaries belong to you.
When you shift your focus inward — to what you can control, to what you value — the grip of outside opinions begins to loosen. You no longer bend every time someone pushes. You stand.
Practical Ways to Take Back Your Power
- Pause before reacting. Ask yourself: “Is this about me, or about them?”
- Name your values. The clearer you are about what matters to you, the harder it is for others to sway you.
- Build internal validation. Compliment yourself. Track your wins. Anchor your identity in who you are, not who others think you are.
- Practice saying no. Every no is a boundary reinforced, a small piece of power reclaimed.
Freedom Looks Like This
Taking back your power doesn’t mean becoming hard, bitter, or unapproachable. It means living with more ease. You become less reactive and more intentional. You find yourself less drained and more energized. You begin to make choices because you want to, not because you’re afraid of displeasing someone else.
This is the quiet confidence that shows up when you realize: You were never the problem. The problem was the power you gave away — and the freedom starts the moment you take it back.
Kenrick Vaz 
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