Healing changes you. It softens the edges that once cut too deep and strengthens the parts of you that used to break too easily. But the truth is, not everyone deserves to meet this new version of you—especially the ones who helped create the pain you had to heal from.
When you begin to heal, there’s this quiet temptation to prove your growth—to show that you’ve forgiven, moved on, and become better. You might even feel a sense of guilt for setting boundaries or walking away from people who once had front-row seats to your life. But healing isn’t about proving your evolution to those who hurt you. It’s about reclaiming your peace and protecting the energy that took you so long to rebuild.
The ones who broke you don’t get to enjoy the healed you. They don’t get access to your calm, your kindness, or your clarity. They had their version of you—the one who tolerated too much, gave endlessly, and still tried to understand them even when they didn’t deserve it. The healed version of you no longer carries that weight. The healed version has learned that forgiveness doesn’t mean access.
You owe no one a front-row seat to your recovery story. The closure you seek isn’t found in explaining your boundaries or revisiting old wounds; it’s in recognizing that some chapters must close without applause. Healing isn’t a performance—it’s a private revolution. It’s waking up one day realizing that the same things that once shattered you no longer hold power over your spirit.
So no, no one is entitled to the healed version of you. The people who loved you gently, who stayed when things were dark, who helped you rediscover your light—they’ll meet the new you naturally. But the ones who caused the storms? They don’t deserve to bask in your sunshine.
Your growth belongs to you. Your peace belongs to you. And your healed self—strong, whole, and radiant—isn’t a reward for those who once broke your heart. It’s a gift you gave yourself.
Kenrick Vaz 