Self Care

We live in a society that often celebrates the idea of pushing through and “soldiering on” whatever the situation may be. While pushing ourselves can be good for us, it’s important to be aware of our personal limitations.

Too often, we spend more energy than what we take in. Now this energy I refer to is both physical and emotional energy. In simple mathematics, if we spend more than we take in, there is bound to be problems down the line.

At times, we are aware that we don’t have enough reserves to pull through the day. Our mindset usually is “let me get through the day and then deal with this..”. This goes on day after day till at one point we realise that our glass is empty!

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a series of small events that snowball into a crisis.

It’s a paradox that I took some time to understand and accept. The busier you are, the more me time you need for yourself. With a packed schedule you may say that you do not have time for yourself. But at the same time it’s important that you make time for yourself.

Self care is the conscious effort of making time for activities you find beneficial towards filling your cup. Caring for your mind and body doesn’t have to be time consuming. While eating and drinking well, getting enough sleep, living a healthy active lifestyle are some ways we can care for our body, we should not forget relaxation, mindfulness, social connections, hobbies needed for the mind.

If you keep putting others first, you’ll soon find that you have nothing to give them. Looking after yourself is the best gift you can give others. Fill your cup daily so that you have enough to offer your loved ones and friends!

Self Worth

The last year has been crazy, our life as we knew it has changed completely. As I scroll to through LinkedIn, I see many posts by people who have lost their jobs due to the situation brought about by the pandemic.

This quote by Brigette made me ponder on what I base my self worth. The first question I asked myself what is self worth.

Self-worth is an internal state of being that comes from self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance.

Linking my self worth to something external like my job or my salary or my possessions doesn’t make sense. Rather having a high sense of self worth implies:

  • An unshakeable and unflinching belief in my abilities.
  • Feeling deserving of happiness, success irrespective of the difficulties, disappointments, dejection, rejection.
  • Accepting myself wholeheartedly at all times with all my flaws, limitations and weaknesses.
  • Not allowing other’s opinion and outside forces to define my current state of mind. Never allowing outcomes to shake my confidence, faith or resolve.

You alone are the most significant factor in how you feel about yourself, your life and your circumstances.

Focus

It’s so easy to get disheartened, demotivated and dejected when we look what everyone else is doing and then compare it to what we are doing. We only see one side of the story. We don’t know the full picture. At the same time, it’s important to understand that each one of us is unique and it’s pointless comparing our story with anyone else.

At the end of the day, we need to ask ourselves if we’ve done all we could to become a better person and bring joy to everyone around us. Let’s strive focus on myself, my growth, my happiness, my story.

Mother’s Day

The love of a mother is something so difficult to explain and also the most amazing gift I’ve been blest with. I’m astounded at how selfless and unconditionally a mother loves her children. Fr. John who blessed our marriage shared the following story which describes what happened for most of my childhood and it moved me to tears.

The best part of getting married, apart from the unending love of my wife Ana, is the gift of a second mother! What more could I ask for! This year for Mother’s Day we recorded a song that I’ve been meaning to sing for mummy ever since I first heard it years ago – The Perfect Fan. The lyrics are below:

It takes a lot to know what is love

It’s not the big things, but the little things

That can mean enough

A lot of prayers to get me through

And there is never a day that passes by

I don’t think of you

You were always there for me

Pushing me and guiding me

Always to succeed

You showed me

When I was young just how to grow

You showed me

Everything that I should know

You showed me

Just how to walk without your hands

‘Cause mom you always were

The perfect fan

God has been so good

Blessing me with a family

Who did all they could

And I’ve had many years of grace

And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face

I want to thank you for what you’ve done

In hopes I can give back to you

Be the perfect son

Integrity

We live in a world where anything and everything can easily be bought and sold. And it’s the same with people. Corruption is rampant in India. Before the West Bengal elections we read of so many MLAs defecting to the BJP.

What is more disheartening to see and read is how this pandemic has brought out the dark side of a section of society. Yesterday we had four doctors arrested for selling a bed at INR 1 lakh! Similarly we’ve read stories of hoarding of Covid medicines and oxygen.

At the end of the day, being true to yourself is all that matters.

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

To Believe

It is definitely not easy to have faith, to believe things will work out for the best when you’re in the middle of a storm.

But based on past experiences, I’ve come to the realisation that whatever happens happens for the best. You may not see it then but somewhere down the line, a few days, weeks, months or sometimes even years, you’ll see and understand, appreciate and see the hand of God striving to do what’s best for you ALWAYS! ❤️