Kenrick Vaz

Microhabits to Change your Life

Is it really possible to change one’s life in such a short timeframe?

Well, yes. Just don’t expect a complete overhaul of your life in 30 days or you’ll be terribly disappointed! You can, however, change your life to a certain degree in 30 days. Remember, 1% positive change in a month is still change. Realistic professional athletes aim for less than 1% change in a month and they’re satisfied with it.

So the first step is to define what change(s) are you looking to have in your life. Ask yourself the following questions:

What do you want to change in your life?
Why do you want to change it?
What do you need to do to change it?
How can you track your progress?
Who can help you change it?
What are you willing to risk to change it?
When can you start to change it?
Why not now?

That will bring you clarity on what it means for you to change your life.

Breakthroughs don’t change your life. Microhabits do.

Benjamin Hardy compares this concept to compounding interest, and how, given the choice, most people would take $1,000,000 in their bank account right now as opposed to a penny that doubles in value over the course of the month.

What most people don’t realize is that those who take the big payout end up with significantly less money than those who opt for the cent per day. He explains: “The doubling penny actually ends up being $10.7 million dollars. Yet, the majority of the growth happens at the very end, and most people aren’t patient enough for the big return. The “live for the moment” culture of today stops people from investing.”

The point is that if you want to have a completely different life in a year or two, you need to start now, and you need to start small.

The micro-habits below cover most aspects of health, wealth, love and happiness.

When reading the list below, always keep in mind what you want to change. Note the micro-habits you think can help you and do them every day for the next 30 days and beyond. Of course there are some that can’t be done every day or you may miss a day or two. That is completely okay! Get back on track and continue.

Reading uplifting content before going to bed
Don’t let yourself go to bed in a bad mood, or by filling your brain with “crap”. I understand that you need to decompress before going to bed. I completely get that. But what you do before bed affects how you wake up, and the state of mind you’re going to be in for the first part of the day.

Listen to uplifting music, podcasts, and people
My most productive days seem to be when I’m dancing to music on my chair. Great music puts me in flow state. I feel like I can do anything!

Be more responsive
If someone sends a text, answer it when you see it. As often as you are able, respond to important emails as they come in. This will ensure that you aren’t left with a backlog of work that needs to be tended to.

Be less reactive
When you see or hear something that immediately enrages you or upsets you (even if it’s just a negative thought that crops up in your head) before reacting to it and pouring your energy into it, question it. Figure out where it came from, and ask yourself whom your reaction to it would serve. Learning to take that micro-pause between a stimulus and your response will change the way you look at everything.

Keep inspiring quotes near you
Quotes are powerful. One thing I had realized early on when I started writing was that things people highlighted most in my stories were the quotes I put in them. And I get it. People far smarter than me have said far smarter things I have.

Reading at least one good quote a day puts you in the right mood. Keep it on your fridge/desk. Let it be in your face as frequently as possible.

Scroll less
Whereas sifting through TV channels was once the mindless past time of years past, now it’s scrolling through news feeds. Train yourself to limit your “scroll” time each day. You don’t have to delete apps entirely, but you should be mindful that you’re not spending multiple hours a day effectively doing nothing.

Practice saying “no“
Your energy is limited each day. Make sure it is only going toward that you truly care about. You should not feel bad about saying “no” to some things. It is ultimately a means of self-preservation.

Work out, even if just a little
The best months of my life was when I was doing physical activity. I was feeling great in my body. When I’m exercising and seeing even small gains in my weight-loss journey, I feel incredible. Whatever your goals are health-wise, be active, measure every little gain, and keep going.

Keep or make good habits, drop the bad ones
This is the starting point, and most likely the most important one. Habits are strong. We’re creatures of habits. Good or bad. Keep the good ones. Drop the negative or ineffective ones. Make new, better ones.

The hard part is consistency, consistency is key! If you can’t be consistent, add accountability.

Eat one less unhealthy snack.
Don’t worry about trying to completely overhaul your diet and perfect every single thing that crosses your lips. Focus only on foregoing one single unhealthy choice that you’d make on any given day. Just one.

Have monthly goals and track them
How many of us have truly stuck to our New Year resolutions? They’re near-impossible to achieve.

Monthly goals, on the other hand, are excellent. Committing to goals for a month is doable, and leads to building great habits. It’s great to experiment and see what works for you, and what doesn’t.

Make a clear task list
I’ve been disorganized and lost many times. I had a really hard time tracking my progress on the various projects. Not anymore. It doesn’t matter the tool you use as long as your list is clear.

Aim freaking high
Always make your lists bigger than you can chew. We, as humans, like comfort. If we allow ourselves to be comfortable, we end up doing close to nothing. Make your lists big. But make sure the tasks are small and achievable. I have about 15–20 things to do every day. Most are 10 minute-tasks.

If I aim to accomplish 10 tasks. I will. And I will be “satisfied”. Now if I aim to accomplish 20 tasks and complete 15–18 of them, I’ll be pumped. I won’t see time go by and the dopamine rush I’ll get rush for accomplishing so much will strongly contribute to building that momentum up.

Prepare your next day the night before
What I’m proposing you here is to simply make a list of things you want to accomplish for the next day a few hours before bed, and then review it shortly before “calling it a night”. Don’t make it too complex. Just a simple list. It shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes. I usually come up with a list of anywhere between 10–20 things to do.

Here’s what happens when you prepare your next day the night before:

While you sleep, your subconscious is “working on” things you “fed it” before going to bed. When you feed it with things you want to accomplish for the next day, it will “prepare” you for them.

Write for yourself
Writing has been a powerful medium for me to express myself. I never knew I had so much to say. I did it for myself, really.

Yet putting all my thoughts in writing has been a phenomenal way to free my mind and think clearly, ultimately leading to some momentum.

Delegate to people you trust
This is WAY underrated! I thought people who delegated were lazy. There are so many things I am doing that could easily be done by someone either more qualified or with more time doing simpler things.

Don’t stop when it hurts

How do you build muscles? You continue when it starts hurting!

And you know what? That’s how you grow in anything in life. No pain no gain.

If you stop when it’s hard, you just wasted valuable energy. Recognize when you’re in a dip, and then get out of it!

Surround yourself with motivated people
Here’s one of my favourite quote of all times:

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with
Jim Rohn

This is so true.

I seek mentors. I seek positive people. I seek people who get stuff done.

Constantly learn new things
That’s probably contributed the most to the changes in my life.

The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways
Robert Greene

Everything I’m doing today — my “successes”, my “failures” — it’s all because I had decided I wanted to consciously and continuously learn new skills.

Take a well-deserved vacation
It’s hard to brake when your pedal is all the way back. But you know what, sometimes that’s exactly when you need to brake.

You can’t function at peak state when you’re constantly under pressure.

Do good, be grateful
Doing good is so rewarding and gives you such a high. And when someone does good to you, be grateful. Gratefulness is almost as powerful as doing good yourself.

Celebrate The Small Wins
Every time a small event happens where it could be considered a “win”, acknowledge it. Take note of it. Have a “success” journal.

Begin each day asking yourself: “How can I change my life today?”
Get out of the mindset that you have to “get through” the day and get into the mindset that the coming hours are filled with open-ended potential for you to take action that will change your life forever. The only difference is your willingness to see things differently, and your effort in trying to make them better.

Changing your life for the better can seem daunting, but it’s important to remember that you can make a difference by taking small, manageable steps.

By implementing some of these micro habits into your daily routine, you’ll be on your way to a happier and healthier life. So get started today and see how much of a difference these small steps can make.

You’re already one step closer to changing your life.

How Easter’s Date is Determined

Without a doubt one of the most important celebrations in the Christian calendar, Easter is a holiday that celebrates the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. After his crucifixion, death, and burial, three days later, He rose from the grave. By this, He conquered death and redeemed us from sin.

Easter is a “lunar feast” or a “movable feast” that is always held on a Sunday between March 22 and April 25.

Easter this year happens just one day after April’s full Moon (Saturday, April 16), which is the first full Moon to occur after the spring equinox (March 20, 2022) and is therefore known in the Christian calendar as the “Paschal Full Moon.” To make a long story short, Easter always occurs on the first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon.

Let’s break it down: In 2022, the spring equinox happens on Sunday, March 20. The first full Moon to occur after that date rises on Saturday, April 16. Therefore, Easter will be observed on the subsequent Sunday, which is Sunday, April 17.

Many Eastern Orthodox churches follow the Julian calendar rather than the Gregorian. In this case, the observance of Easter can occur between April 4 and May 8.

The name “Easter” was derived from “Eostre,” “originally a Saxon word (Eostre), denoting a goddess of the Saxons, in honor of whom sacrifices were offered about the time of the Passover.”

Another probability is the Norse eostur, eastur, or ostara, which meant “the season of the growing sun” or “the season of new birth.” The word east comes from the same roots. In this case, easter would be linked to the changing of the season.

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday is the day in the Christian liturgical calendar that celebrates the 40-hour-long vigil that the followers of Jesus Christ held after his death and burial on Good Friday and before his resurrection on Easter Sunday. Holy Saturday is the last day of Lent and of Holy Week, and the third day of the Easter Triduum.

In the second century, people kept an absolute fast for the entire 40-hour period between nightfall on Good Friday recollecting the time Christ was removed from the cross and buried in the tomb and dawn on Easter Sunday when Christ was resurrected.

In the early church, Christians gathered on the afternoon of Holy Saturday to pray and to confer the Sacrament of Baptism on catechumens—converts to Christianity who had spent Lent preparing to be received into the Church. As the Catholic Encyclopedia notes, in the early Church, “Holy Saturday and the vigil of Pentecost were the only days on which baptism was administered.” This vigil lasted through the night until dawn on Easter Sunday, when the Alleluia was sung for the first time since the beginning of Lent, and the faithful—including the newly baptized—broke their 40-hour fast by receiving Communion.

With the reform of the liturgies for Holy Week in 1956, those ceremonies were returned to the Easter Vigil itself, that is, to the Mass celebrated after sundown on Holy Saturday, and thus the original character of Holy Saturday was restored.

Until the revision of the rules for fasting and abstinence in 1969, strict fasting and abstinence continued to be practiced on the morning of Holy Saturday, thus reminding the faithful of the sorrowful nature of the day and preparing them for the joy of Easter feast. While fasting and abstinence are no longer required on Holy Saturday morning, practicing these Lenten disciplines is still a good way to observe this sacred day.

As on Good Friday, the modern church offers no Mass for Holy Saturday. The Easter Vigil Mass, which takes place after sundown on Holy Saturday, properly belongs to Easter Sunday. The modern Easter Vigil Mass often begins outside of the church near a charcoal brazier, representing the first vigil. The priest then leads the faithful into the church where the paschal candle is lit and the mass is held.

What’s So Good about Good Friday?

What is Good Friday and why do we call Good Friday “good” when it is such a dark and bleak event commemorating a day of suffering and death for Jesus?

Good Friday, the Friday before Easter, is the Christian holy day to commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus and His death at Calvary. It is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, Great and Holy Friday, and Black Friday.

For Christians, Good Friday is a crucial day of the year because it celebrates what we believe to be the most momentous weekend in the history of the world. Ever since Jesus died and was raised, Christians have proclaimed the cross and resurrection of Jesus to be the decisive turning point for all creation.

What is the Meaning of Calling it “Good” Friday?

Still, why call the day of Jesus’ death “Good Friday” instead of “Bad Friday” or something similar? Some Christian traditions do take this approach: in German, for example, the day is called Karfreitag, or “Sorrowful Friday.” In English, in fact, the origin of the term “Good” is debated: some believe it developed from an older name, “God’s Friday.” Regardless of the origin, the name Good Friday is entirely appropriate because the suffering and death of Jesus, as terrible as it was, marked the dramatic culmination of God’s plan to save his people from their sins.

In order for the good news of the gospel to have meaning for us, we first have to understand the bad news of our condition as sinful people under condemnation. The good news of deliverance only makes sense once we see how we are enslaved.

In the same way, Good Friday is “good” because as terrible as that day was, it had to happen for us to receive the joy of Easter. The wrath of God against sin had to be poured out on Jesus, the perfect sacrificial substitute, in order for forgiveness and salvation to be poured out to the nations. Without that awful day of suffering, sorrow, and shed blood at the cross, God could not be both “just and the justifier” of those who trust in Jesus (Romans 3:26). Paradoxically, the day that seemed to be the greatest triumph of evil was actually the death blow in God’s gloriously good plan to redeem the world from bondage.

Good Friday marks the day when wrath and mercy met at the cross. That’s why Good Friday is so dark and so Good.

Here are my two favorite hymns for Good Friday

Five things to know about Maundy Thursday

Christians today observe Maundy Thursday, which commemorates the Last Supper and Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. It is possibly one of the most important, complex, and profound days of celebration in the Catholic Church. Maundy Thursday celebrates the institution of the Eucharist as the true body and blood of Jesus Christ and the institution of the sacrament of the priesthood.

Here are five important things to know about Maundy Thursday:

What does Maundy mean?
The Thursday before Easter is known as either Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday. Maundy is derived from the Latin word for “command,” and refers to Jesus’ commandment to the disciples to “Love one another as I have loved you.”

What does it commemorate?
Maundy Thursday commemorates the Last Supper, which Christians consider the institution of Holy Eucharist, also known as the Lord’s supper or communion. It is described in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 22. At the Last Supper with his disciples, Jesus breaks bread, saying, “This is my body,” and pours wine, saying, “This is my blood.” He then asks the disciples to “Do this in remembrance of me.”

What holiday was Jesus observing?
The Last Supper is derived from Jesus’ Jewish heritage and his observance of a Jewish holiday. The Last Supper was a Passover Seder, the feast of unleavened bread. Jesus and the disciples are eating unleavened bread. Passover is the Jewish festival commemorating the exodus of the Jews from Egypt, when they left so quickly there was no time for the bread to rise.

Why foot-washing?
Maundy Thursday is also associated with foot-washing. Jesus washed the feet of the disciples, an act described in the Gospel of John, chapter 13, as Jesus teaching them to be servants. It’s the ultimate act of “servant leadership.” Jesus instructs his followers to love and to serve. Most Catholic churches will have a Mass tonight, with a Eucharistic celebration that includes the washing of feet..

Maundy Thursday has a dark side
Jesus foretells his death, saying he will eat no more until the kingdom of God is fulfilled. It also marks an act of betrayal. “One of you will betray me,” Jesus says. Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus’ 12 disciples, is pointed out by Jesus as the one who will betray him.

Solitude: How & Why to Spend Time Alone

When was the last time you were alone? Not lonely, or isolated, or missing someone. But alone, happily, by choice?

If you’re still thinking, it’s been too long.

Modern society has developed some negative associations with the idea of being alone. When kids misbehave, parents send them to their rooms to sit in silence as a punishment for their bad behavior. Staying at home alone on a Friday or Saturday night is frowned upon. You’d be considered a “loser” for doing so and your friends would ask if you’re okay.

We’ve been wired to believe that solitude is our enemy.

We’ve also confused “being alone” with “being lonely”. But that, of course, is not the case. Being alone doesn’t necessarily cause loneliness and many people can feel lonely despite being in the constant presence of other people.

Loneliness is about perceiving that no one is there for you. But solitude is about making a choice to be alone with your thoughts.
Amy Morin

The truth is, solitude is necessary for our well-being and potential success.

Research has come to prove that there are several long-term benefits to solitude.

It allows you to learn more about yourself and find your own voice.
In a world where information is available at your fingertips and everyone has an opinion to share, sometimes it’s incredibly rewarding to trust that you have the answers you seek. All it takes it to build the habit of looking within to converse with yourself. Solitude becomes a medium to learn more about who you are as a person.
It empowers you to become comfortable with who you are.
The more you learn to shun out external influence, the more comfortable and confident you feel about your authenticity. This confidence, in turn, will project in the future decisions you will make.
It boosts your creativity. A recent study found that people who enjoy solitude tend to be more creative. I personally really appreciate my alone time. It allows me to rewind, to reflect and more so, allow my imagination to wander. Most often it’s when I roam in nature that I get my best ideas.
It gives you an opportunity to plan your life.
We plan our business meetings and our upcoming vacations. At work, there are quarterly business reviews and bi-annual performance reviews. We plan and reflect for work and fun — but why don’t we do the same for our dreams, aspirations and personal lives? Take a break from the rhythm of rush to reflect on whether you’re living a life true to you and your goals.
It improves your mental wellbeing.
Studies have shown that people who learn to find comfort in solitude tend to be happier, experience lower levels of stress and are less likely to have depression.

How to Spend Your ‘Alone Time’

You don’t have to go to a cabin in the woods or fly all the way to a remote island to learn how to spend time alone. All it takes is to integrate 10 minutes per day to be alone with your thoughts — and if that’s too difficult to start with, I recommend you block out 10 minutes every Sunday evening for yourself.

Is that too difficult of a task to do? I highly doubt it.

But how do you actually spend time with yourself? Is there more to it than just sitting in silence with no distractions? You bet! Here are a few other recommendations that might inspire you.

1. Pick Up An Old Hobby Or Try A New One

What better way to pass the time than by doing something you love? Maybe it’s something that you did during your college days. Or maybe it’s something that you’ve always wanted to do.

News flash: you don’t need anyone else! You can do it by yourself. Using your alone time to do something that makes you happy will never feel like a chore.

2. Journal Through Your Thoughts

Grab your pen and paper and have a heart-to-heart with your journal. Journaling has so many benefits for mental health, which makes it an excellent way to spend your coveted alone time.

3. Do Nothing

Sometimes it’s really powerful to just sit and do nothing. Let your mind wander and be reassured knowing there’s absolutely nothing you have to do except be there in the moment.

4. Meditate

Meditation calms you down and sharpens your focus muscle. It’s hard at first, but with time, you will love it so much that it becomes a pillar in your daily routine.

5. Set Goals

Take control of your life. If you don’t invest the time to be alone with your thoughts and ask yourself “what do I want to achieve this year” then you’ll end up living your life on autopilot. You need a goal — a destination to work towards. Take the time to plan where you want to go in life.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
Abraham Lincoln

It’s not easy to be able to sit alone with your thoughts for extended periods of time, but at an age when social connectivity is the constant, it’s imperative for our mental health to frequently unplug.

You need to give yourself the time you deserve to be with your mind, to look within, and engage in a meditative experience. You can sit in silence. You can journal. You can plan your week ahead. You can go for a walk in nature.

It doesn’t matter what you use your time alone for.

The most important thing is that you build the habit of embracing solitude and inviting more of it into your life. You’ll learn more about yourself and you’ll become more aware of your emotions. In short, it’s the best form of self-care.

Own your Flaws

We see our physical imperfections every time we look at ourselves in a mirror. We sometimes reflect on our shortcomings or imperfections of character after we fail to respond to a situation in an emotionally-balanced way; When we realize we were untruthful to ourselves and to others, or when we harshly criticize ourselves for not having achieved something that is defined as successful or good by social convention.

All of this we come to see as our own imperfections. We see it as imperfect because it falls short of what we think, believe or expect to be perfect, a construct or idea we have in our head that we have built ourselves or that was handed down to us by society.

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
Robert H. Schuller

Sometimes we make the mistake of assuming that we need to be perfect to be lovable, which sets us up for disaster. No one is perfect, and anyway, our imperfections are what make us unique. Here’s why owning your flaws makes you a lot more lovable than pretending to be perfect does:

1. IT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE MORE COMFORTABLE.
It’s not your job to make sure that other people aren’t intimidated by you, but when you pretend to be perfect, it can put up a wall and make you seem unapproachable and unrelatable.

2. PEOPLE CAN GET TO KNOW THE REAL YOU.
We want people to like us for who we really are, but for that to happen, we have to learn how to let people get to know who we really are. You can’t be guarded and known deeply at the same time.

3. PEOPLE AREN’T LOOKING FOR PERFECT.
We might want someone that is perfect for us, but that’s very different from wanting a perfect person. Imagine how hard it would be to really date a flawless person. S/He would probably be a total nightmare.

4. YOU COME OFF AS AUTHENTIC.
Nothing is more appealing than people who are totally authentic. That’s exactly why you might love certain people who you consider “weird” or “crazy,” because they’re comfortable with it and because of that, so are you.

5. YOU’VE ACCEPTED YOURSELF.
When you accept yourself for who you are, then other people can, as well. Knowing you’re flawed and moving forward shows people that you don’t need saving, because you’re doing it yourself.

So how do you start owning your flaws??? Here are ten tips for embracing your flaws and accepting yourself completely.

1 Acknowledge what’s bothering you
Without understanding the root of your concerns, it’s hard to come to terms with your flaws. Dig deep and see if there are issues beneath the flaws that you need to address.

2 Use your flaws to guide self-improvement
Embracing your flaws doesn’t mean you can’t improve yourself. In some cases, recognizing certain flaws gives you the opportunity to work on those imperfections. If your flaw is something you want to change, go for it!

3 Appreciate your individuality
Your flaws may make you different from everybody else, but that’s a good thing! Don’t make the mistake of trying to fit the mold.

4 Put things in perspective
Instead of focusing on everything that’s bothering you, grab a notepad and jot down three things you are grateful for. Wouldn’t you rather have your health and your beautiful family than be a stunning beauty without those precious gifts?

5 Flip your flaw
If you can find the strength in your flaw, you’re a lot more likely to own it. For example, if you’ve always considered yourself quiet and shy, that probably means you’re an amazing listener and observer.

6 Don’t compare yourself
Stop comparing yourself to others and love yourself for who you are — the good, the bad and the ugly. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies. That’s what makes life interesting!

7 Be flawsome
Yes, flawsome is an actual term. I had shared a post Be Flawsome last June. This term was coined to describe brands that show humanity by being open about their flaws. In their words, “Human nature dictates that people have a hard time genuinely connecting with, being close to, or really trusting other humans who (pretend to) have no weaknesses, flaws, or mistakes.” Who wants that? Embrace your flaws — and be flawsome!

Benefits of Setting Boundaries

You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people. A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis. That’s where boundaries come into play. In simple words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.

It’s not mean or wrong to set boundaries. Boundaries protect us from being hurt and taken advantage of. Boundaries create healthy relationships and clear expectations. And we can learn to set boundaries without feeling guilty or like we’re being mean!

Often, we assume that people will respect our boundaries because we were brought up and taught what is acceptable by our family and/or culture. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Although we can choose who we interact with in our personal life such as choosing close friends, this is not always the case in other environments such as work, family, community, etc. We can feel uncomfortable or even violated if we interact with those who have poor boundaries. But it is important to know how to establish healthy emotional, psychological, and physical boundaries in relationships so we can feel respected and safe.

Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
Source: Boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program

1. You’re more self-aware.
Creating your own limitations is an inherently self-aware act — and that can be incredibly beneficial for your own welfare.

2. You become a better friend and partner.
Boundaries make it possible to allow yourself to recharge. And when you’re not totally tapped out, you have more energy to devote to the ones you love. You’re also more respectful of their own needs as a result.

3. You take better care of yourself.
Boundaries help you prioritize your own well-being — plain and simple. It is not selfish to take care of yourself and your needs while also considering the needs of others. It makes you more effective and less burned out from helping if you set some limits.

4. You’re less stressed.
Without establishing your own limits, you open yourself up to the risk of taking on everyone’s problems in addition to your own. Or worse, you ignore your own happenings entirely. If you have a reasonable boundary, you don’t take on additional stress.

5. You’re a better communicator.
In order to really establish limits, you have to state what you can or cannot tolerate. That means being clear and concise. Expressing your own needs will also allow you to be more transparent. All of these characteristics are elements of good communication.

6. You start trusting people more.
Expressing your limitations to others means you’re trusting them to handle those emotions you’re conveying. And more trust means better relationships.

7. You’re less angry.
When you don’t have set boundaries you give other people the power over your own life — and that can lead to anger. We let people get away with things that are not okay. Then we just become more resentful and hateful.

8. You learn how to say “no.”
“No” may be a small word but it’s certainly powerful. The most basic way of establishing a boundary is declining anything you don’t have the capacity to handle.

9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.
Imagine your life without unnecessary obligations all because you started exercising your right to say “no.” Limits free you up for more opportunity to do the work and activities that you actually desire to do.

10. You become a more understanding person.
When you’re compassionate toward yourself about what you can tolerate, you’re better able to express that to other people who have their own boundaries they want to follow.

A more fulfilling life, a warm personality and better relationships all because you set up healthy limits for yourself? Doesn’t sound like a bad deal.

How Much Discipline Do You Really Need to Fulfill Your Dreams

The internet is full of contradictory success stories. On the one hand, you hear about a lot about college dropouts making it big only after they gave up on the rigorous college schedule. On the other, you have stories about successful businessmen and entrepreneurs working their way up from the bottom, working 20 hours a day to fulfill their goals. So, which one is it? Do you need to free yourself from the chains of strict schedules and regulations, and just do what comes natural? Or should you reach Buddhist monk levels of self-discipline?

First, let’s start by making a distinction. Self-discipline might seem like a fancy way of saying “discipline,” but we’re actually talking about two slightly different things here. Discipline is following rules and schedules imposed by others. When you’re working in a team, it certainly helps to follow the same guidelines as everyone else. Otherwise any project would just descend into utter chaos.

Being a maverick only works if you get results. Otherwise, you’re just going to hinder everyone else from doing their job. Be aware of your strengths, but also your weak points. Before making any radical decision, run it by someone you trust first. Staying true to your vision doesn’t mean you can’t listen to constructive feedback.

What about self-discipline? This should be something you end up practicing it instinctively. It will be hard at first, nobody is going to deny that. But it’s better to start developing good habits early. The more you become comfortable with bad habits, that harder it’s going to be to get rid of them in the long run. If you practice self-discipline on a daily basis, at some point it’s going to become second nature, and you’ll no longer feel like your pushing yourself to do something.

Do you need a lot of self-discipline to achieve your potential? That really depends on you. Some people are naturally inclined to complete tasks, no matter how tedious they may find them. Others need a little bit of a push to get the job done. That’s where self-discipline comes in to pick up the slack. When you’re working a job with managers, supervisors, and external deadlines looming over your head, you’re going to have to step up your game, whether you like it or not. But when it comes to personal goals, you can be just as lazy as you want to be. How many times have you decided to start working, or go on a diet, only to make up some excuse to postpone it? Since there’s nothing pushing you from the outside, you have to learn to push yourself from within.

Self-discipline isn’t just about making sets of rules. Ideally, through daily practice, you should reach a point in which these rules become habits. Good habits are essential if you want to successfully tap into your unexplored potential. And once you get comfortable applying your rules on a daily basis, you won’t even notice they’re there.

If you’re the kind of person who might need a little bit of help kick starting their self-discipline training, it might be useful to follow these tips.

Don’t jump in immediately

Start with little things, like making daily schedules and sticking to them, or forming some routines. If you go at it head on, without a clear plan in mind, you might end up tiring yourself before you’ve even started

Practice self-discipline daily, especially when you don’t feel like it

When something is fun, you don’t need to force yourself into doing it. The whole point of setting rules for yourself is to have something that pushes you to get the job done when you lack motivation.

Break down every complex process into stages

What are steps that lead up to your desired outcome? How long does each step take, realistically? What are you going to need to complete each stage? Dividing daunting tasks into manageable chunks will help you sketch out a plan before starting. That’s going to make sticking to a schedule much easier, because, first of all, you’re going to have an actual schedule.

Always keep your end goals in sight

Visualizing the desired outcome can be a powerful motivator. Whenever you feel like quitting, just remind yourself why you’re doing this. Think about that wonderful feeling of seeing your task completed.

So, the question remains, how much discipline do you really need to achieve your goals? Well, that’s actually up to you. Part of learning to discipline yourself is to know what your limits are, and how far your desire to succeed can push you. Learning these things takes plenty of practice, but, in the end, it’s all worth it. Once your internal schedules become an extension of who you are, you won’t even feel like you’re forcing yourself to do anything, it’s going to be part of your routine.

This is probably what’s so tricky about self-discipline, and why so many successful entrepreneurs seem to have a total disregard for rules. You rarely notice routines; that’s why they’re routines. You’ve probably heard of the more famous college drop-outs, like Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs, but there are plenty of others.

You might think that, as long as you have a good idea, you don’t really need anything else. But the truth is, what these people tend to have in common is the drive to achieve their goals. Their success stories might seem effortless, but that’s just because you rarely get to see all the boring work that went into reaching the top.

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.
Zig Ziglar

Good or Bad, It Comes Back to You

Whatever we do, it comes back to us. Whatever deeds we perform in our daily life — good or bad — we have to bear the fruits of the same. Sooner or later, we will come back to us. This is the rule of life we should bear in mind when dealing with the people around us. We should treat people the way we would like them to treat us.

Some people say life is unfair. However, it’s not life, but people have not been fair to each other. It’s not life that should be blamed for what happens to us, but ourselves. It’s because we are being unjust and disrespectful to each other.

It is important for us to understand “we are the reason” behind what happens to us. Let us, for example, think of our work. Who decides the type and colour of clothes to wear, the route to take and what drink to have? It’s our decision of course. Similarly, every action we take is decided by us. Hence, the result too will be faced by us.

Likewise, the result of our deeds will be faced only by us. Nobody should say I’ve not done injustice to anyone, but why I am facing such an awful situation in my life. Our deeds are like a ball. Once thrown, it will hit the wall and then come back to us. It’s all a matter of time for this ball to travel and come back. Sometimes, it comes back immediately, but sometimes it takes hours, months or even years.

All you need to remember is that life is like an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow, you reap; what you give, you get; what you see in others exists in you too. Hence, you should always give goodness and get back the same. Otherwise, it’s vice-versa.

This reminds me of an old story of a woman who used to bake bread and give one to a hunchback man who used to pass by her house every day. This went on day after day. This woman was irritated with the man who didn’t show any kind of gratitude to her. All he would say after receiving the bread was, “The evil you do remains with you. The good you do will come back to you.”

This statement infuriated her.

Therefore, she decided to get rid of him by poisoning the bread she had prepared for him. Luckily, she changed her mind and didn’t give him that bread. Instead, she burnt it.

The hunchback man passed by as usual, collecting the bread from her. Suddenly, he found a starving man asking for food. He handed him that bread. That man happened to be the woman’s son, who had disappeared for years.

He told his mother about the hunchback man saving his life with the bread that he gave him. She was shocked to hear that as she was planning to kill the hunchback man.

She realised what would have happened had she given him the poisoned bread.

Always remember, the evil you do remains with you, while the good you do, comes back to you. Thus, keep doing good deeds that bring back fruitful outcomes to you.