Character: How You Treat Others?

Growing up, I was taught you treated everyone the same. It didn’t matter if they were the bank president or the peon —they all were treated with the same level of respect.  Not everyone was raised that way, however, and there’s enough rude people in the world as evidence to that fact. 

I read once that you could tell a lot about a person by a few things — how they treated animals and how they treated people that were serving them in some way. 

Character, according to Goethe, is how you treat someone who can do absolutely nothing for you.

Your character is central to your very being.  It is the set of rules by which you live your life.  It is how you make important decisions.  It is how you are known by other people.  Do you want to be known as a mean person or a kindly person?

Are you known as Mr. Generous or as Mr. Miser?  You will be known as something.  How you treat others, especially those who can do nothing for you, will help form your reputation. Relationships function like a mirror–eventually that change will reflect back onto how you are treated.

Here are nine important principles to remember about how to treat others:

1. Instead of judging people by their past, stand by them and help them build their future. Everyone has a past. Some are a source of pride, and others are best left behind. But whatever their past, people do change and grow, so instead of judging, stand by and support them as they move toward their future. Treat them with respect and make their journey your own.

2. Listen with curiosity, speak with candor, and act with integrity. Listening and curiosity allow relationships to thrive. Speaking your truth allows people to be honest with themselves and with you, and acting with integrity keeps relationships on a high standard. Relationships need curiosity to grow, candor to deepen, and integrity to continue.

3. Treat everyone with kindness–not because they are kindhearted, but because you are. One of the greatest gifts we can give another is kindness. If someone is in need, lend a helping hand. Don’t do it only for the people you like and respect–that’s easy–but also for the ones who drive you crazy and those you don’t even know. True kindness lies in the act of giving without the expectation of getting something in return.

4. Don’t try to make yourself great by making someone else look small. The moment you think you have the right to belittle others because you are better than they are is the moment you prove you have no power. People tend to make others feel how they themselves feel, whether it’s great or small. If you can’t offer help, support, or love, at least do everything in your power not to hurt them or make them feel small. Treat everyone you meet with honor.

5. Remember, everyone has a story. It may be something they’ve gone through in the past or something they’re still dealing with, but remember that behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Everyone has inner battles and issues. Withhold judgment and instead offer the consideration you’d like to receive.

6. We don’t meet people by accident. Every person you meet will have a role in your life, be it big or small. Some will help you grow, some will hurt you, some will inspire you to do better. At the same time, you are playing some role in their lives as well. Know that paths cross for a reason and treat people with significance.

7. The best teachers are those who don’t tell you how to get there but show the way. There is no better joy then helping people see a vision for themselves, seeing them go to levels higher than they ever would have imagined on their own. But that doesn’t mean you have to fix them or enable them; instead, guide them to the source of their own power. Offer them support and motivation as they find their own way and show you what they’re capable of. All you have to do is believe in them.

8. Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up. We like to think of life as a meritocracy, so it’s easy to look down on someone who isn’t as successful or accomplished or well educated as you are. But you have no idea how far that person has already climbed or where they will end up. Time could easily reverse your positions, so be sure you treat everyone with dignity.

9. Appreciate those who have supported you, forgive those who have hurt you, help those who need you. Business is complicated, life is complex, and leadership is difficult. Treat all people–including yourself–with love and compassion, and you can’t go wrong.

Treat people the way you want to be treated and life will instantly get better. 

I Don’t Need to Impress Anyone

I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need to impress anyone anymore. 
I am who I am without caring what others think of me.

I don’t need costumes, I don’t need to trick anyone or pretend.
Because I can be who I really am.

I don’t need to laugh and make people believe I never cry. 
I don’t always need to be strong or always be pleasant.

I don’t need to be the same as anyone, and, above all, I accept myself as I am.
With my virtues, but also with my shortcomings.

Because I cannot be perfect, but I’m always me.

I accept and love who I am and who I can be.

-Anonymous-

We do not exist to impress the world, but to be happy and to fulfill ourselves.

There are times when we want to grab all of the attention and be the life of the party. However, what really becomes important is for us to live our lives without always having to stand out to others.

Someone once said it’s nice to have money to buy things we want, but it’s nicer to have things that money can’t buy.

Some people spend life doing things they hate, to get money they don’t need, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

Unknown

We have already been disappointed many times, we have placed our trust in hundreds of situations and, well, the truth is that we have not always obtained is the result we expected. Thus, in the same way you stop expecting something from others, you begin to realize that you should stop worrying about what others expect of you.

Why don’t we need to impress anyone but ourselves?

The most unhappy people in this world are the people who care too much about what others think. We do not need to please anyone but ourselves. And this follows a simple rule that everyone can understand: if we try to impress at any cost, we are disguising ourselves. And if we disguise ourselves, our essence dies.

Each person is unique and exceptional. Nothing and no one deserves to hide their true self, emotions or thoughts. Now, it is true that everything has a limit, you cannot say or do whatever comes to mind and you have to be careful not to hurt others.

Be yourself and love yourself.

We were taught to be selfless, to put others’ needs before our own. Being selfish is a crime, a sin.

It is not wrong. But it is not entirely right either.

Here is a simple analogy. Your family shares a television. Everyone would watch it at the same time. Therefore, to be fair, one person gets to decide what the family watches for the day, and the next person will decide the next day. Would you give up your right to decide what to watch to make your family happier? 

There is no right or wrong answer. But remember: it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to root for yourself sometimes. Because how are you going to love someone if you don’t love yourself?

There is no one as important as yourself.

Yes, humans are social creatures. There is no denying that. But don’t get sucked into the never-ending loop of satisfying and impressing others and ignoring yourself. Gently, gradually, let yourself remind you that there is no one as important as yourself. You don’t need to impress anyone!

Nothing is Impossible

I think there is nothing impossible in this world, and you would never find it in the dictionary of a successful person. Impossible is the word mostly said by unsuccessful people, who don’t have the courage to do something remarkable in their life.

The more you think about “Impossible”, the stronger and larger it becomes.

Here are some stories that inspire me and which demonstrate that impossible is just a myth and only exists in our mind.

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible – Lord Kelvin – 1895

Lord Kelvin, also known as William Thomson, was a great mathematical physicist and engineer. He is known for the Planck statement (or the Heat Engine Statement) of the second law of thermodynamics which states that it is impossible to devise a cyclically operating heat engine, the effect of which is to absorb energy in the form of heat from a single thermal reservoir and to deliver an equivalent amount of work.

He once stated that “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible” but Wright brothers proved him wrong with their first controlled, sustained flight of a powered, heavier-than-air aircraft with the Wright Flyer on 17 December 1903. In 1904–05, the brothers developed their flying machine to make longer-running and more aerodynamic flights with the Wright Flyer II.

Again, someone proved a myth wrong.

To be successful at something you don’t have to be unique, you have to be what most people aren’t: CONSISTENT.

You Will Never Walk Again – Wilma Rudolph

Wilma Rudolph was a sickly child who had to wear a brace on her left leg. She was suffering from a disease called “poliomyelitis”, and the doctor told her that you will never walk again, she was disappointed. But, her mother told her otherwise.

In 1960, Wilma Rudolph became the first American woman to win three gold medals in track and field at a single Olympics.

Just look at the determination and the courage of these people, like they only knew what needs to be done, no matter what other people, science, circumstances tell them to do. Still, they have done precisely the opposite and turned an impossible task into a possible one.

A Deaf Music Composer – Ludwig van Beethoven

Beethoven was a German composer and pianist; his music is amongst the most performed of the classical repertoire, and he is one of the most admired composers in the history of Western music. His works span the transition from the classical period to the romantic era in classical music.

Yes, Ludwig van Beethoven was a music composer with hearing disabilities, can you imagine how impossible it looks like.

The sense of hearing is one of the most and essential aspects if you are a music composer, how someone could produce music when he is not able to listen to it?

Arunima Sinha – World’s first woman to scale Mount Everest

Aruna Sinha is an Indian mountain climber and sportswoman.

Once she boarded the Padmavati Express train at Lucknow for Delhi on 12 April 2011, to take an examination to join the CISF. She was pushed out of a general coach of the train by robbers wanting to snatch her bag and gold chain.

During her interview, she said: I resisted, and they pushed me out of the train. I could not move. I remember seeing a train coming towards me. I tried getting up. By then, the train had run over my leg. I don’t know anything after that.

Later, she was rushed to the hospital with severe leg and pelvic injuries and lost her leg after doctors amputated it to save her life.

But I’d say that she is a woman with lots of guts, being a disabled person she decided to climb the Mount Everest and she reached the summit of Mount Everest at 10:55 am on 21 May 2013. 

More than 200 dead bodies are still there on Mount Everest, and most of the finest athletes couldn’t achieve what she has performed with her one leg. Sounds Amazing!

The world is full of such real success stories, where things look impossible, but some of the real warriors and heroes made it. You just need to think “I can”, “I have to”, “I will”, and then I don’t think there is anything that can stop you to achieve what you want.

Self-Care is NOT being Selfish

Do you find yourself striving to have it all, do it all and be everything to everyone? If so, you know that it comes at a cost: It’s easy to lose sight of yourself in the process. Worse yet, somewhere along the way, you were led to believe that taking care of yourself translated into being selfish.

Actually, the line between self-care and selfish isn’t as fine as it may seem. Whereas selfish implies that the world revolves around you, self-care acknowledges that it includes you. It means giving yourself the attention, compassion, time and energy that you deserve.

Self-care might be the last thing on your mind right now with the busyness of your life and the world, but it’s still essential to our health and well-being. Especially now that the news seems overwhelming at times, we need to take care of ourselves so we can continue caring for our families and friends.

The struggle to achieve and maintain work-life balance is an ongoing one for most people, especially with the lines between work and home increasingly blurred. But self-care is about more than juggling time and responsibilities. It’s also about being nicer, kinder and more compassionate to yourself.

Following are seven strategies to step up your self-care game:

1. Watch your language — Language can have a profound effect on your thoughts, moods and perspective. It’s not just what comes out of your mouth in conversations with others; the messages you tell yourself play an essential role in how you feel. Do you tend to beat yourself up for your perceived failures or shortcomings, or do you treat yourself with compassion? Even when you feel disheartened, try to focus on effort and progress more than results. Resist the urge to negatively label yourself as “incompetent,” “weak” — or worse. Instead, encourage yourself in the same way that you would a child or good friend. If you tell yourself “You’ve got this!” often enough, you will get it!

2. Slow down — There never seems to be enough time to do everything you want or need to do. Yet rushing through your daily activities often robs you of the experience. Do you gulp down your morning coffee while battling traffic on your way to work, or take quick swigs between clients? If so, you probably don’t even notice the taste or appreciate its warmth the way you would if you sat down and leisurely enjoyed it — even for 10 minutes. Slowing down offers physical benefits as well; people who eat slower tend to gain less weight (or lose weight faster), maintain lower blood pressure and experience less stress and anxiety.

3. Be wary of social media—Sure, it’s fun to catch up with old friends and stay in touch with new ones, but research conducted at the University of Michigan shows that social media — namely Facebook — can undermine your happiness. The study found that Facebook use had a negative impact not only on users’ moods, but on their overall reported satisfaction with their lives. By contrast, face-to-face social interactions did not have the same effect; in fact, personal interactions helped people feel better over time.

4. Make yourself a priority — Too often, we schedule things that promote our well-being after everything else is in place. Instead of squeezing in a yoga class, manicure or time to read, proactively schedule it. The people-pleasing habit is tough to break, but can ultimately provide you with the freedom to make more prudent choices that align with your own dreams, goals and values.

5. Don’t skimp on sleep — The benefits of a good night’s sleep extend far beyond feeling rested the next day. While the experts recommend that adults get between 7 and 8 hours of shut-eye per night, they also emphasize the importance of quality sleep.

Sleep services all aspects of our body in one way or another: molecular, energy balance, as well as intellectual function, alertness and mood.

Dr. Merrill Mitler, Sleep Expert, Neuroscientist (National Institutes of Health, USA)

6. Treat yourself — You know the nice little gifts you so easily give others? Fresh flowers brighten up any room; why not treat yourself to a bouquet? Small indulgences, like a new cell phone case, can provide a welcome boost and serve as a reminder that you’re worth it. If you’re trying to curb impulse spending, create a wish list and reward yourself when the time is right.

7. Discover the authentic “you” — It’s easy to create identities around our roles and/or the other people in our lives, but what happens when parents become empty nesters — or executives retire? Who are you? If you strip away the external definitions of yourself, what do you come up with? Exploring your own identity and values will help you nurture the best version of yourself.

Being overextended, overscheduled and overtired probably means that all the things you know would be good for you are the very things that get pushed to the back burner. The problem is, if they stay on the back burner, the black hole into which ‘your best self’ disappears gets deeper.

There is a point of diminishing return when the amount of physical and emotional energy you expend surpasses your reserves. As your coping mechanisms weaken, the ripple effect becomes apparent; you feel even more stressed, further reducing your productivity and efficiency.

Tending to your own physical and psychological needs is one of the best gifts you can give — not only to yourself, but to everyone around you.

Unfortunately, in our fast-paced culture, relaxing can be viewed as laziness or underachievement. Silence your inner critic and anyone else whose opinion you don’t need. Taking a break is not only nice, it’s necessary.

Enjoy your “Me” Time

“Me time” does not mean spend the whole day in some café, salon, or spa. “Me time” means taking out some time from your highly busy schedule to get relaxation. When I say taking out some time it can be a few minutes or hours, totally depends on you.

We generally take out my time from our busy schedules to get recharge again. You can and should find a little time every day to relax and recharge, so whether it’s 20 minutes or a couple of hours. Having time to yourself can help in so many ways, and it doesn’t have to take loads of time either.

From personal experience I know how dangerous it can be to not balance your time. It’s not a good place to be as I am sure you can appreciate. Trying to do everything all the time can really take its toll.

EVERYONE deserves a little time to themselves each day – it’s not whether you deserve it – it’s whether you can afford NOT to!

Here are some ways to enjoy your “ME” time

1. Digital Detox
While you look for some “me time” say no to digital devices. “Me time” should be calming and relaxing and do not put a strain on your eyes in the time. So, put aside all your digital devices and enjoy the calm and peace by just closing your eyes for some time

2. Creative Side
If you are working in the office continuously and bored with digital devices, take out your diary and pen. Draw something and let your creativity come along. If you are not interested in sketching, you can cook or dance! Do whatever makes you feel happy.

Drawing on my iPad is my way of having “me time”.

3. Treat Yourself
When you see yourself trapped in work, work, and work, it’s high time to give a small treat to yourself. Go shopping or cook something good for you. Or just simply, sit in a calm and serene place and appreciate yourself for making this far with a smile. When I say treat yourself, it does not go monetary always, you can just simply have an appreciation session for yourself.

4. Take a Nap
This is the best way to find some “me time”. Nap is the only word that makes most of us happy. A 30-minute nap in the afternoon is something we always look for during sunny days or winter days. A powerful nap refreshed the mood and the body. Enjoy your “me time” with naps.

5. Chit Chat With an Old Friend
Having a conversation with an old friend is like opening an old book with lots of memories and funny moments. Everyone needs this type of “me time” wherein we get to talk to an old friend.

6. Binge-Watching
For effective and happy “me-time”, we suggest you say no to digital devices. Still, if you wish to enjoy time with devices, you can binge-watch some good series and movies on TV. Just a small reminder, do not put a strain on your eyes or your mind as it may ruin the whole mood of “me time”.

7. Grown-Up Play Date
You can meet your friends to play board games or cards. Additionally, you can also gather for a game night. If you don’t want it with your friends, you can ask your partner to be with you. In case, you are not in a mood to play or do something, you can just simply ask your partner for quality time and convert “me time” into “us time”.

8. Indulge in Hobbies
For a perfect “me time”, you can learn something new like jazz, salsa or swimming. Basically anything you wanted to do for a long time.

Do you also struggle to find uninterrupted ‘me time’ in today’s non-stop world? What more can we add to this list? Let me know in the comments section below! :)

Finding your Passion

It can be so frustrating when people advise you, “Just follow your passion!” Yeah, sure, you’d love to—if only you knew what your passion was.

Remember when we were kids? We would just do things, not sitting to weigh the pros and cons. Did we think to ourselves “What are the benefits of playing basketball versus football versus cricket?” We just ran onto the playground and played! We built sandcastles on the beach, played hide and seek with friends, asked silly questions, played pranks on our cousins, looked for bugs and insects, opened up broken radios or broke the ones that were working!

Nobody told us to do it, we just did it. We were led merely by our curiosity and excitement.

And the beautiful thing was, if you hated cricket, you just stopped playing it. There was no guilt involved. There was no arguing or debate. You either liked it or you didn’t.

And if you loved looking for bugs, you just did that. There was no second-level analysis of, “Well, is looking for bugs really what I should be doing with my time as a child? Nobody else wants to look for bugs, does that mean there’s something wrong with me? How will looking for bugs affect my future prospects?”

If you liked something you just did it!

We’re now so habituated to use our minds to analyze, rationalize and figure things out. It’s natural yet so very torturous!

Here’s the problem: Passion can’t be found in your head because it lives in your heart!

And the flames of passion are fanned by engagement, not thought. Right?

No matter how hard you try, you cannot figure out your passion by thinking about it. You need to take action and feel your way to your truth, from the inside out.

For example, for years, I have been wanting to actually learn ballroom dancing.

But most of my thoughts sounded like this: “Wow…dancing would be awesome, but you’re too old to get started. Most start training or enroll when they’re in their teens. You’ve had zero professional training, and you’re already in your 30s. Get real.”

Or, “It sounds exciting, but dance is a waste of time, it is crazy and irresponsible. And a waste of money”

The endless and debilitating chatter in our minds often tries to talk us out of what our hearts are yearning to explore.

I still have to make it for my first dance class and I am going to ensure it happens this year!

I had the same thoughts about having a blog and putting my thoughts for the world to read. No matter how much I wondered about it before, it wasn’t until I physically took action that my real passion (and gift) fully emerged. Magic really does start to happen when you follow your heart. 

Embrace this key idea and it will change your life: Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

But taking action on something you suspect to be your passion is just part of the story. There’s another important (and rarely discussed) piece to the passion puzzle.

Proactively bring passion to everything you touch, to everything you do. No matter what task is in front of you, bring as much enthusiasm and energy to it as you possibly can. Bring your full attention, your full presence, the Godlike quality that each of us has within, to every task in your day.

Passion is contagious. When you’re fully present and passionately engaged with your life, people around you take notice and want in on whatever you’re doing. 

Another side benefit to proactive passion is kicking life-sucking habits like procrastination, resistance and complaining straight to the curb. 

So here are 4 simple steps to find your passion

1. Love everything you do.

In any given moment, if you can’t change what you’re doing, you can always change how you’re doing it.

2. Look at your book collection, magazines and credit card statements. Notice any themes?

What subjects are you constantly gravitating toward? What are you already spending your time, money and energy on? Your heart and physical body contain wisdom far beyond the capacity of your mind.

3. What do you love to talk about, learn about and/or teach others about?

You may not need a total overhaul in what you’re doing. Maybe you simply need to inject more of what you LOVE into your life right now. 

4. Quit talking and start doing.

Now that you’ve gotten this far, the next step is to begin taking consistent passion-based action each day.

Building your life around what you love is something you’ll never regret.

It’s your passion for what you do that will give you the drive, commitment and energy necessary to create any amount of success and fulfillment you desire, and you’ll have an extraordinary time while you do it.

That’s everything you need to know about finding your passion and probably a little more because I just can’t help myself, I’m passionate about sharing this work with you. Now go ahead and get started and don’t forget to let me know how it goes!

Happiness is an Inside Job

Many people wait for something to happen or someone to make them happy. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed. Being responsible means not blaming others for your unhappiness. It means figuring out ways to be happy despite others’ (negative) behaviours and despite the external influences.

The all-important truth about happiness is this: your happiness depends much more on your attitude than it does on objectives, or external circumstances.

In many cases of unhappiness, people experience difficult circumstances that create paradigm shifts, whole new frames of reference by which they see the world and themselves and others in it, and what life is asking of them.

When you are caught in the stress of life, you can easily forget your responsibility and how you should react to stay happy, comfortable and calm.

You will stop to notice what is awesome and magical in life.

No one can make you happy, nor can you make anyone else happy.

Instead of looking to get happy from a person or a job, or an external factor, view relationships and/or work as outlets for happiness, and focus on how you can give more happiness.

The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance

Viktor Frankl

When you leave your happiness in someone else’s hands, you’ll end up being dependent on them and when they leave you, you’ll become empty inside.

Everything outside yourself can help you get better in life, but they are not the means to your happiness.

Happiness is acceptance

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” — Brian Tracy

Accept you for who you are. Accept that there are things that are beyond your control. Accept the things you cannot change.

Stop comparing yourself to others all the time.

Happiness is being grateful

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” — Aristotle

What is the one unique thing you are grateful for today?

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens

Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a habit

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius

It’s what we do to make everything else in life awesome.

And once we make that internal shift, we can put our day-to-day external frustrations into perspective.

How to Prevent Arrogance from Knocking You Out

Arrogance is a trait that we both reward and punish. We admire successful people because they always win no matter what. Even if they bash their competitors in the process. When the arrogant wins — no one seems to cares about what they leave behind in the dust.

”Be successful” has become our motto. You must prove that you are superior to everyone else in every moment. That’s why arrogance is rewarded — it comes with the job of winning. However, what you leave behind is not just the people you defeated — you sacrifice your integrity. We all pay a high price for our arrogance.

Our society confuses self-confidence with being arrogant — the concepts are related but are not the same. Confidence inspires others and will help you get the job done; arrogance turns everyone off. At work, confidence can get you hired; arrogance can get you fired.

Arrogance feeds ignorance. You become over-confident or ignore what you don’t know. Your blind spots make you easy prey. The punch that you don’t see coming is the one that knocks you out.

Ancient Greek literature uses the term “hubris,” in which people think of themselves to be of a higher status than ordinary mortals. That’s the problem with arrogant people: they expect others to treat them like a god — they want to be revered.

Arrogance is a form of manipulation — one exploits others’ perceptions of oneself to avoid self-esteem from being hurt.

The essential nature of arrogance is inherently negative. However, it has a positive aspect too. Vanity is the negative outcome and pride is the positive one.

Pride is about recognizing your own good qualities. It means you neither exaggerate your abilities nor mask your vulnerabilities.

Vanity is an excessive pride. It’s the need to continually compare to others in a way that you always look superior. You excel at uncovering other people’s flaws, but not yours.

Arrogance is knowledge minus wisdom.

Celso Cukierkorn

How to Overcome Arrogance

Lack of self-compassion drives arrogance. We tend to take ourselves too seriously, that’s why we want to look better in the eyes of others. The best antidote to overcome arrogance is to treat ourselves more kindly.

Laugh at yourself. When you can poke fun at your flaws, you let go of the need to look perfect in front of other people. You don’t need to downplay yourself either. False modesty doesn’t help. Acknowledge your weak links. Feel proud of being a “work in progress.”

Admit your errors. Owning your actions makes you free. Even if that means becoming accountable for your mistakes. When you stop blaming others, you stop pretending you are better than everyone else.

Spend time with yourself. Meditate, go for a walk, write your accomplishments in a journal, or simply take some time to appreciate your own company. When you feel good being alone, the desire to be appreciated by others diminishes. Look for your own acceptance rather than others.

Be kind to yourself. If you are over-critical about your achievements, you will never feel satisfied. Take it easy. Learn to treat yourself with respect. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Be your own benchmark. Acknowledge your progress. Don’t feel you’re a failure when you fail, increase your mistake tolerance and learn from your errors.

When you stop taking yourself too seriously, you don’t need to use arrogance as a crutch anymore.

Stay alert on how you deal with self-pride. Don’t become a victim of a punch you didn’t see coming. Avoid arrogance from knocking you out.

Stay human.

How to make everyone feel included

Whether it be in a conversation, at the office, or at school, it is important to work towards emotionally including everybody. 

While this can seem daunting and challenging, it is completely worth it. A recent study found that “almost half of our population feel alone, and younger generations feel the most isolated.” If you want to make an immediate and important change in your community, inclusion is one of the most effective ways to do so.

We’re genetically wired to belong; it’s how we survive and thrive in life — and at work. This is especially important for minorities who often don’t feel included at the office. New research shows that fostering a sense of belonging helps reduce stress levels, and consequently improves physical health, emotional well-being, and performance.

Whether it’s a new team member or someone who seems out of the loop, here are four ways to make people feel included:

  • Make introductions. Don’t introduce people just by their title. Add tidbits that are unique to the individual and show that you appreciate them. Use language like: “This is Sara — she is part of our research team.” The word “our” really adds the feeling of being on a team.
  • Solicit input. Don’t expect everyone to show up and speak up. Invite people who you want to include, ask their opinion, and follow up with questions so they truly felt heard. 
  • Share stories. Stories show that you, as the storyteller, care enough about your audience’s career to show your own vulnerability and share your mistakes and successes. They also help people connect emotionally. 
  • Offer a sincere greeting. Making eye contact, saying “Hello” and making conversation goes a long way. The most important part, however, is that you listen and show a genuine interest.
  • Request their help solving a problem. Every person you work with has a skill or knowledge you don’t. Acknowledge that by reaching out to them for help.
  • Recognize their contributions. Tell them specifically what they do well, and how it contributes both to the team and the organization.

No one has built a solid foundation with a team of people who feel invisible. Ensuring that your team don’t feel overlooked, ignored or left out can propel not only your team’s internal success, but its external success, too.