No More Excuses

At some point, most of us have gotten fed-up of hearing the phrase “Follow your passion”. But the question is are you following your passion today? Research shows that only 20% of full-time employees are truly passionate about their jobs.

Some individuals happen to be in the right place at the right time, while others encounter career-killing pitfalls. There’s no way of knowing which direction your career will take. And while you can’t dictate everything, you can control certain aspects.

Here are some common excuses we hear:

  1. I don’t have the time
  2. I don’t have the resources
  3. I’m too old/young
  4. I don’t know enough right now
  5. I might fail

If Steve Jobs would’ve waited to have it all figured out before he invented the personal computer, nothing would’ve been done. If Mark Zuckerberg felt the need to graduate from college before launching Facebook, the social network may not exist today. Do you think these guys had it all figured out when they started chasing their dreams? The answer is no.

One key aspect that I have learned is that pursuing your passion doesn’t mean doing what is fun or what brings us joy. But rather, it is about doing what you care about. The distinction is subtle, but very meaningful. Focusing on what you care about aligns your passion with your values and the impact you want to have. This also makes you more resilient and helps you persevere through the hardships, helps you weather the storms that come your way.

The German word for passion, “Leidenschaft,” literally translates to “the ability to hardship.” If you’re passionate about something in Germanic cultures, you don’t necessarily enjoy it. Leidenschaft is about knowing the pursuit will be unpleasant but tolerating it because the outcome is worth the cost. 

In Eastern Europe, passion can also be understood as cierpienie (which roughly translates to “suffering” in Polish). It’s a word that describes having a calling, but without any implications of deriving pleasure. You have no choice but to endure it, even when the outcome is not necessarily positive. 

The reality is that passion wanes over time, so if you just focus on following happiness, you might not stick with an endeavor like you would if you focused on how it helps you achieve what you care most about. When you’re pursuing your passion, it’s important to bear in mind that resilience is key, because the pursuit of passion is an ongoing—and challenging—process.

Here’s an awesome video to motivate you, to fire you up! No more excuses!

What to do instead of comparing?

We often catch ourselves playing the comparison game. Each of us have our own triggers that cause us to fall into the trap of comparing, thus resulting in our confidence taking a nose dive! We all know the gut wrenching feeling that arises when we see or hear something that immediately has us second guessing our appearance, personality, or skill set. The more we scroll through our feeds on social media, the more likely we are to start comparing ourselves to others, sometimes with people we have not even met!

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Steve Furtick

Most of the time we highlight the best versions of ourselves instead of the real versions. Life can be hard, ugly, and downright depressing at times. But those likely aren’t the adjectives most of us would use to describe the photos we post onto our accounts. And then we compare our realities with the incomplete, one-sided reality of our friends and connections on social media. We use the same scale to measure two completely different realities!

So what do we do instead of comparing? Well the easiest would be to reduce your time on things that trigger these comparisons. And focus on things that really matter. For example, if you envy the well-sculpted body of the trainer or model you’ve been following on Insta, make time to focus on starting your exercise routine.

More importantly assess where those negative comparisons are stemming from and figure out how to overcome the same. The next time you make an unfair comparison, instead of allowing it to make you feel poorly about yourself, view it as an opportunity for a little self-evaluating.

Another thing that helps me is to change my mindset from comparing to complimenting. Rather than get into being jealous about something, find something you admire and compliment them. Being genuinely happy for someone else changes your mood entirely and keeps you positive and brightens up not only your day but theirs as well!

And along with complimenting others, make sure you find your awesome! We are all unique, talented and gifted. You have talents, traits, and accomplishments that make you who you are. Find your awesome and you will find that you are less affected by others.

The power of each of our individual uniqueness is that it’s the one thing someone else can’t match – no one can be as good of a version of me than I can be when I set my mind to being my very best self. So, get in touch with what unique gifts you bring to the world, then devote yourself to cultivating the things that light you up and cause you to overflow with energy and love.

You don’t know everything!

The first time I heard of Bill Nye was on the Big Bang Theory! His show, Bill Nye The Science Guy, was such a hit it was nominated for 23 Emmy Awards and won 19! After his show was over in 1998, he continued trying to make the world a better place through education. Now he has a show on Netflix called Bill Nye Saves the World. It’s geared more towards adults and he talks about problems the planet is currently facing.

Bill Nye said, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t” in 2014, while he was giving the commencement speech for UMass Lowell. He went on to describe different professions like mechanics and cooks and how they are experts in their own field. He said, “Respect their knowledge. Learn from them. It will bring out the best in both of you.” Then he challenged everyone to “question things,” claiming that there will be world-changing discoveries in our lifetime. His main point was to inspire the students to change the world for the better.

I identified strongly with this quote especially when I am at work. In my line of work, there is so much that changes at such a rapid pace and I am constantly learning through my interactions with my team mates. Even when it comes to programming, there are so many ways to achieve the same result. And I am amazed when I come across an implementation or a piece of code done in a way that didn’t even cross my mind.

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew.

Colors of the Wind ~ Disney’s Pocahontas

You can’t know everything, that’s impossible. This is because people are unique; they have different life experiences and possess skillsets different from everyone else.

As a result, someone along the way will know something that you don’t. This is why you should respect and listen to everyone. Keeping an open mind and listening to not only those you believe to be smarter or better than you at something, will benefit everyone. We shouldn’t feel upset or threatened that we don’t know everything. We should use it as an opportunity for learning and bettering ourselves.

The Trap of Likes

Most of us tend to keep checking who has liked the photos we’ve posted on Instagram or Facebook. And even start comparing the number of likes our posts have received over others. When I started this blog and started sharing articles as part of my Whatsapp stories, I too would keep checking to see how many have viewed my story. And the kind of reactions my posts get.

In an age where we can perfectly showcase our whole life on social media for everyone to see, like, comment, congratulate and approve, it is but natural to have a sneaky sense of comparison. And we get stuck in the trap of craving for likes and affirmation from all and sundry. And don’t worry about it, you are not alone! We look for attention on social media thanks to a hormone called dopamine.

Dopamine is one of the brain’s neurotransmitters and the “feel-good” hormone that helps regulate emotional responses and other functions, such as motivation. Your brain releases dopamine when you experience pleasure. People want to release dopamine; the dark side of the hormone helps explain why people become addicted to drugs and even social media. Dopamine causes us to seek, desire, and search. Dopamine is stimulated by unpredictability, by small bits of information, and by reward cues—pretty much the exact conditions of social media.The pull of dopamine is so strong that studies have shown posting is harder for people to resist than cigarettes and alcohol.

But life is way more than likes on Instagram! There is so much more to life than just what we portray or see what others showcase on social media. Our self-worth is not found in likes. Are you still going to be Instagram-ing when you’re 80-years-old? Are the ‘likes’ that you are working for now going to help you land your first job? Is posting the photo with better lighting going to keep the lights on in your apartment?

Here are a few places you can find your worth if you still feel like your online feed is your ideal life: your work, accomplishments, relationships, ability to empathize with others, attitude, contributions to society, how you impact others, and your drive to make yourself successful, happy, and whatever else it is your inner desire feels.

In this day and age, we can become so consumed and lost in translation when it comes to the imagery of our lives online. May our self-worth and value never be based on the likes we receive but on the love we show all who we encounter everyday! :)

Marvan Atapattu

An amazing story on Marvan Attapattu, Srilankan Cricketer.

It’s a story that Harsha Bhogle, India’s most loved cricket commentator, loves to tell, over and over again.

Making his debut in Test cricket for Sri Lanka, Marvan scored a duck in his first innings. And again, in his second innings.

They dropped him. So he went back to the nets for more practice. More first-class cricket. More runs. Waiting for that elusive call.

And after twenty-one months, he got a second chance.

This time, he tried harder. His scores: 0 in the first innings, 1 in the second Dropped again, he went back to the grind. And scored tonnes of runs in first-class cricket. Runs that seemed inadequate to erase the painful memories of the Test failures.

Well, seventeen months later, opportunity knocked yet again. Marvan got to bat in both innings of the Test. His scores: 0 and 0. Phew!

Back to the grind. Would the selectors ever give him another chance? They said he lacked big-match temperament.

His technique wasn’t good enough at the highest level. Undaunted, Marvan kept trying.

Three years later, he got another chance. This time, he made runs. He came good. And in an illustrious career thereafter, Marvan went on to score over 5000 runs for Sri Lanka. That included sixteen centuries and six double hundreds.

And he went on to captain his country. All this despite taking over six years to score his second run in Test cricket. Wow ! What a guy!

How many of us can handle failure as well as he did ? Six years of trying, and failing. He must have been tempted to pursue another career. Change his sport perhaps. Play county cricket. Or, oh well, just give up. But he didn’t. And that made the difference.

The next time you are staring at possible failure or rejection, think of Marvan.

And remember this: If you don’t give up, if you believe in yourself, if you stay the course, runs will eventually come. What’s more, you could even become a leader one day.

One more thing, Marvan Attapattu is a qualified Chartered Accountant.

Debating with Donkeys

The donkey said to the tiger, ‘The grass is blue.’ Tiger said, ‘No grass is green.’

Then the discussion between the two became intense.

Both of them are firm in their own words. To end this controversy, both went to Lion – King of Jungle.

In the middle of the animal kingdom, sitting on the throne was a lion.

The donkey started yelling before the tiger could say anything. “Your Highness, the grass is blue, isn’t it?” Lion said, ‘Yes! The grass is blue. ‘

Donkey, ‘This tiger does not believe. Annoys me He should be punished properly. ‘ The king declared, ‘Tiger will be jailed for a year. King’s verdict was heard by donkey and he was jumping in joy in entire jungle. The tiger was sentenced to one-year jail. ‘

The Tiger went to the Lion and asked, ‘Why Your Highness! Grass is green, isn’t it? ‘ Lion said, ‘Yes! Grass is green.’ Tiger said, ‘… then why am I sentenced to jail? ‘

Lion said, “you did not get punished for the grass being blue Or green.

You have been punished for debating with that stupid donkey.

Brave and intelligent creatures like you have argued with a donkey and have come here to get a decision”

Moral of the story…. 👇
Don’t Ever Debate or Argue With Donkey – Better Leave Them In Their Own World Of Fantasies

Rise

We are all wired to be empathetic, loving, compassionate and kind. However there is this strange belief in our world that in order to get ahead we need to step on the person below us and use him or her as a step toward getting where we want? We see it all the time.

But what if instead of pushing others down to get ahead, we reached down and pulled our fellow humans up? What if instead of stepping on their necks, we acknowledge we are standing on their shoulders and we, in turn, did the same for others? What if by lifting others, we are rising ourselves?

I changed jobs in the beginning of June and I was overwhelmed by the wishes and encouragement from so many friends and connections. At the same time, there were a few who were silent. And I wondered to myself why would you not be happy for someone who is moving onto a new challenge, a new opportunity.

The last few years has taught me the importance of surrounding myself with people who support my dreams, encourage and cheer for me and more importantly who believe in me. And I am grateful for these people in my life. And along with that, ensuring that I do the same for them.

Another key area is with knowledge sharing. I came across this on Quora

One of my friends told me that “I don’t want to share my knowledge with someone else, because I earned it myself, and I worked so hard for it. So, why should I share with someone else for his/her development? If I teach someone, then he/she will apply the knowledge to his/her business, and our value will decrease, or our business will lose its competitive edge.” I don’t think it works that way. My perception is if I teach someone, then I can learn it better than before. I think sharing knowledge is great. But is it profitable, too?

Again, there are a lot of benefits to sharing what you know. I love this quote that I came across

What might you do to lift another person up this week, and in doing so, rise yourself? Who can you encourage? Who can you offer a word of comfort or make a practical offer to do something?

New Beginnings

When I look back at my life so far, every ending that I have experienced led to something better. I am where I am now because of change. Something that ended in my past, allowed me to have new opportunities and challenges in my life, and the outcomes I got were always positive, whether it was a job or a relationship. And I am sure you would have similar experiences as well.

There are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind

C.S. Lewis

Endings are most of the time very difficult to accept, even if we were looking for that ending, because it is always hard to start again. Some endings are easier to digest and other endings are so painful that tears our heart apart. Those kind of endings paralyzes our world, and nothing in our lives seems to make sense. But there is always a reason why things happen in the way they happened. Every ending, no matter how hard it is, it is always a new opportunity in disguise.

By living in the present, the here and now, we would be able to see the ending as a new beginning. The past is history, the future is a mystery. We cannot change what happened, but we can change how we experience what is going on in our present moment. 

Here is a lovely poem I came across by Donna

The past is the past for a reason.
That is where it is supposed to stay,
But some cannot let it go.
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person they used to be,
The mistakes they made in their life.
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened, 
No matter how hard you try,
No matter how much you think about it,
No matter how much you cry.

What happens in your lifetime 
Happens for reasons unknown,
So you have to let the cards unfold. 
Let your story be shown.

Don’t get wrapped up in the negative.
Be happy with what you have been given.
Live for today not tomorrow.
Get up, get out, and start living,

Because the past is the past for a reason.
It’s been, and now it is gone,
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it.
It’s done, it’s unchangeable; move on.

Fr. Stan Swamy S.J.

During my 8 years with the Jesuits, I’ve attended many funerals of Jesuits, some of who I knew very well. Today was different, very different. As I sat at home attending Fr. Stan Swamy’s funeral online, I was moved deeply listening to all who spoke eloquently about Fr. Stan. I was touched by his deep faith, his simplicity, his courage to fight for the downtrodden.

There are many who have written and spoken on this gentle giant. But the following speaks volumes of Fr. Stan

In the words of Gautam Benegal, the gifted film director and son of accomplished and acclaimed film director Shyam Benegal

Stan: He wouldn’t have survived long. It was inevitable. It was murder and nothing else.
But the prolonged torture Stan Swamy faced, at his age and in his condition even in the face of all the protests, was deliberately imposed by the State, and done so defiantly, blatantly, and openly to make a point and an example. It was premiditated. And it was bloodyminded malice baring its fangs from the highest level.


But Stan Swamy’s defiance was of an epic level. He stuck to his convictions to the very last. All the might and power of the State could not break an 84 year old man with so many ailments, infected by Covid.
He won in the end. And like Graham Staine’s widow, I am sure that like the Christian he was, true to his faith, he forgave his oppressors.


They win twice over, these Christians.
Oppression is the furnace where the faith of Christians is forged to unbreakable steel. What did the State achieve by murdering Fr. Swamy? Millions more rising up even stronger in their faith.


And unbelievers like me even more resolute in standing next to them through whatever I can muster up in my own small way.

In nōmine Patris et Fīliī et Spīritūs Sānctī.
Father Stan, you are with your God and forever in our hearts.

Gautam Benegal

And here’s a lovely poem I came across on Twitter

May we be inspired to continue the fight against injustice and May the soul of Fr. Stan rest in peace 🙏

Here’s a small note I had written on Fr. Stan a few weeks ago. Link

And here’s the Funeral service for Fr. Stan Link

Chrysalis ~ Why the caterpillar must die

If you ask anyone to give you a symbol of transformation and you will most probably get a mention of the caterpillar. It is and remains a beautiful image: the insignificant and often ugly caterpillar who will wrap himself in his silk bud or cocoon and emerge like a glorious winged creature. 

A chrysalis is the form a caterpillar takes before it emerges from its cocoon as a fully formed moth or butterfly. And if you were to open the chyrsalis halfway through its transformation, what would emerge isn’t a hybrid creature, half caterpillar and half butterfly, but just a puddle of liquid.

In order to be able to become a butterfly, the caterpillar has to fall apart completely, decompose down to its very essence, devoid of any shape or consciousness. It literally dies. There is nothing left of it. And from this liquid essence, the butterfly starts to put itself together, from scratch. Amazing right?

We sometimes say we want life to change, but we don’t, really.

For in order for life to change, we need to change ourselves. But to live through a metamorphosis such as we claim we crave, we have to surrender everything. It’s scary! That’s why the image of the butterfly is so pertinent as a symbol of change. It has nothing to do with a cosy nap inside a soft time capsule, followed by the fluttering of delicate wings.

The Story Of The Butterfly Struggle

There was a little boy who loved caterpillars. One day he found one, took him home and made a home for him.  He watched this caterpillar everyday making sure he had plenty of food & water.

One day the caterpillar started creating a cocoon…here he would go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly. This was so exciting, the little boy couldn’t wait to see the butterfly!

One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out. The little boy was so excited! But then he noticed the butterfly was struggling so hard to get out and it looked like the butterfly wasn’t going to be able to break free!

The little boy was so worried for the butterfly that he decided he had to help. He quickly got a pair of scissors and snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

But the butterfly had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The little boy sat and watched the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, get bigger and expand to support the swollen body. 

But it never happened! 

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

 It never was able to fly…

He then learned that the butterfly was supposed to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions actually hurt the butterfly.

Struggling is actually an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that creates YOU and gives you the ability to become the best version of YOU!