Life is a Journey…and with every day that passes, the journey gets faster. Days get shorter and good intentions grow and grow. It’s hard to find time to stop and think. There are always emails to answer, calls to make, trains to catch…But one day, your journey will end, and people will either remember you or they will forget you.
Be today who you would have people remember you for. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
What are you responsible for and what will be your legacy? When taken seriously, our duties are sources of great potential. Yet so often we spread ourselves too thin, doing just enough to get by – that awful feeling of doing so many things and none of them particularly well.
We would do well to spend more time watching and less time with our eyes on the watch.
Are you present? Are you mindful, or are you forever multi tasking, mentally preparing for the next imminent appointment and already playing out the next conversation at the expense of this one?
Others may forget your hurried actions and many words, but what they will remember is how you make them feel. Focus on your passion for people. Seize the responsibility we all have to inspire and challenge those around us, to develop and learn alongside each other.
Being today who you would have people remember you for means less regrets at the end of the journey.
So think NOW about what is important to you.
It’s not easy to prioritise when everything is a priority. But it’s a good idea to look closely at the way you’re living your life. Too often it takes a crisis situation to make us stand back and take stock, to make us consider if our behaviours and actions are consistent with our values and beliefs. But why wait? Why not now? This is your opportunity to craft your character in the stories that will be told.
One of the main things I’ve realised over the last few years is that you don’t need to meditate on a mountain top or in the middle of nowhere at a secluded spot to find inner peace. Making time to relax is important but we need calm and composure in the midst of our fast-paced, frantic, crazy life…right at the moment you’re suppressing the urge to unleash a stream of four letter words!
The ocean’s tide brings the drama when it crashes against the shore, but venture a few meters down and you’ll find a tranquil world of creatures moving at their own pace, wholly unfazed by the action up above. The problem is most of us live sort of on the surface of the waves, where there’s a lot of turbulence and wildness. But again, this deep, calm, awareness is actually within each person.
You don’t need to shut out all the noise to find inner peace. There’s this assumption that if you’re in a quiet place, it will be more conducive to accessing this spot within. You could be on a crowded Mumbai local, surrounded by people and noise, and close your eyes to go into this space where your calmness resides.
The pursuit of inner peace is more important than the search for happiness or success.
Chris Shea
Here are 9 ways to experience inner peace and enjoy life on a deeper, more satisfying level:
1. Focus your attention on those things you can control 2. Spend time in nature 3. Mind What you Eat 4. Exercise on a regular basis 5. Be assertive 6. Avoid trying to change others
The last one is pretty key! You’ll have as much success trying to change the weather as you do trying to change other people. It’s hard enough to change yourself. How will you ever manage to change someone else?
It’s important to take care of yourself mentally and physically.
Eat properly, exercise, and be true to yourself. There’s no need to please other people. Be assertive and take control of your life. Avoid chasing after those things that society has determined to be important.
Here is a lovely poem by Vanessa Hughes on Inner Peace
Well below your ego There’s a place that doesn’t care What people say or think or do It’s very peaceful there
This place is deep inside you It’s way beneath your skin The stillness that surrounds you there Is you without the spin
It’s soul, unspoilt, it’s raw Untouched by human mind Affected not by boxes Or labels of any kind
When you can find your inner peace Anytime or place No matter what is happening You have your own calm space
When softly falls the dew at eventide, Then, tired, we lay ourselves away to rest; Confiding: in the One who knoweth best, We trust in him and nothing- else beside.
What if dark demons oft attack our soul, And friends forsake, and parents look with scorn? We’ll trust in God; he’ll keep from every harm. We’ll live for him while endless ages roll.
What if misfortune comes? It comes to all; Look ye on him who died upon a tree; Acquaint thyself with One who mourned for thee, And trust in him whate’er thy life befall.
Some day we’ll reach that land of peace and rest, Behold our loved ones who have gone before, Enjoy the beauties of that clime forevermore, Because we trusted him who knoweth best.
She sat at the back and they said she was shy. She led from the front and they hated her pride.
They asked her advice and then questioned her guidance. They branded her loud, then were shocked by her silence.
When she shared no ambition they said it was sad. So she told them her dreams and they said she was mad.
They told her they’d listen, then covered their ears, And gave her a hug while they laughed at her fears, And she listened to all of it thinking she should, Be the girl they told her to be best as she could.
But one day she asked what was best for herself, Instead of trying to please everyone else, So she walked to the forest and stood with the trees, She heard the wind whisper and dance with the leaves. She spoke to the willow, the elm and the pine, And she told them what she’d been told time after time.
She told them she felt she was never enough, She was either too little or far far too much, Too loud or too quiet, too fierce or too weak, Too wise or too foolish, too bold or too meek,
Then she found a small clearing surrounded by firs, And she stopped…and she heard what the trees said to her. And she sat there for hours not wanting to leave. For the forest said nothing, it just let her breathe.
Poem by Becky Hemsley Gorgeous painting called “Love for the Earth” by Lisete Alcalde
The line between failure and success often comes down to something as simple as self-talk. Powerful and positive self-talk can change your entire mindset, which can affect your actions. That, in turn, can have a massive impact on how successful you are on any journey you take or any obstacle you face. What we tell ourselves, whether fact or fiction, reflects how we see ourselves in the world.
I remember reading a study where scientists studied anorexic women as they walked through their labs. I was astounded to read that these ladies turned their bodies sideways upon entering doorways, as if they were overweight and couldn’t fit through the door. Isn’t that just mind-boggling? This is because the way we view ourselves — and the nature of our self-talk — can shape the entire physiology of perspective.
Another interesting fact I read is that instead of using the word “I,” people who use their own name when referring to themselves have better feelings of self-confidence and acceptance. It may feel awkward, but it works. For example, instead of thinking, “I really nailed that presentation at work,” I think, “Kenrick really rocked that presentation…”. Referring to yourself in the third person can have some powerful effects, such as stress reduction and anxiety regulation, as well as put distance between you and the situation. It works better for some, may not work for everyone :)
Here are a few other ways to improve your self-talk
• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least four-five things you’re grateful for each day. This will help you recognize and feel the positive vibes already present in your life.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison never leads anywhere good in your head; it only fills your mind with negative thoughts and self-doubt. Reaffirm how awesome you are, and that your awesomeness has nothing to do with anyone else.
• Use positive affirmations. Keep reminding yourself “I am good at…” or “I am special and unique because…” or “I am proud of myself for…” You can also queue up positive videos and watch or listen each morning or evening.
• Surround yourself with positive people. Not sure if you have heard the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” As humans, we take on the perspectives and outlook of others, so it’s important to be with people who have an upbeat mindset and practice positive self-talk. Being with positive people will bring out the best in you and they’ll also give you great, constructive feedback.
• Exercise. Exercising increases a sense of well-being and creates a better base of self-confidence. Have you ever noticed how, after working out, your mood changes for the better and you feel great the rest of the day? That’s the work of all those awesome endorphins.
• Volunteer and help others. Helping others can help you see how much you matter and how greatly you can positively impact others. Volunteering also has the additional benefit of staving off any of your own feelings of sadness and depression. It’s hard to feel sad when you’re helping others feel good.
• Visualize successful things in your life. Visualize what you want to achieve and how you’re going to achieve it. Imagine reaching your goals and how you’ll feel when you finally get there. Visualization tactics change the wiring in your brain, as your brain doesn’t know when something you visualize is real vs. when it’s imagined. In other words, if you imagine success, your body will believe it!
We often let fear or insecurity stop us from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don’t like them or even if they are mean to you. Without confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard and there is nothing that can stop you.
Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But what we now know is that instead, we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects what could happen next. Our mind is such a powerful instrument that it can deliver everything you want through the power of positive expectation. This is the importance of always holding a positive expectation that what you want is going to happen. It is a choice and a discipline of the mind.
Someone once said “99% of our problems begin in our mind and end there!”
Here is a lovely story I recall that is very apt to this theme.
Once upon a time, there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants….
The race began…
No one in the crowd believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as…
“Oh, it is WAY too difficult!!”
“They will NEVER make it to the top.”
“Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!”
The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one, except for those, who in a fresh tempo. They were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!” More tiny frogs got tired and gave up.
But ONE tiny frog continued higher and higher and higher, this one wouldn’t give up! In the end, everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog that after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
Then all the other tiny frogs wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. The frog did not respond anything; it stayed mum with that big smile of success on his face.
Later it turned out that the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is “Never listen to other people’s tendencies. Most likely they will be negative or pessimistic. Because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you — the ones you have in your heart!!!”
People tell you that you cannot do it or it is too difficult or it is impossible. It is their insecurities and they try to stop you. So it is better to be deaf and focus on your goals.
Always believe in yourself and always think I can do this!
In today’s world we have become desensitized to so much that happens around us. We prefer not interfering maybe because of the consequences. Here in India, the last few years has been filled with stories of intolerance and jungle-raj which has driven a lot of us to be silent.
When I hear this phrase of standing up for someone, I am reminded of a story by Colin Ryan I read in the Reader’s Digest a few years back.
Source: Reader’s Digest
When I was in fifth grade, you could have told me, “Colin, it’s not cool to wear the same pair of sweatpants every single day of school,” but I was comfortable. And you could have told me, “Colin, it’s not cool to go to the school dance and do the Macarena for the entire duration of Guns N’ Roses’ ‘November Rain.’” I would not have stopped. You could have even told me, “Colin, it’s not cool to be an active member of your local church’s clown troupe.”
Then I went to sixth grade, middle school, and all of a sudden, it was clear there were only two options. I could somehow be cool, or I could somehow be invisible. And I have to say, I was doing pretty well at option two.
Until third period on the first day, when a teacher had us fill out a questionnaire with “get to know you” questions.
I assumed that she would be reading them privately, so I felt safe to share from the perspective of the sweatpants-wearing, Macarena-dancing, Christian-clowning little snowflake that I was.
The teacher collected the sheets, shuffled them, and redistributed them to the class. We went one by one. We’d read the student’s name and then our three favorite answers. My sheet ended up in the hands of a kid who was one of the coolest and meanest.
His “favorite answers” of mine were the three worst ones to be read out loud. The first question was “What’s your favorite movie?” The other kids wrote Scream and Universal Soldier. I remember thinking, We’re 11! How are you seeing R-rated movies?
He read my answer, Beauty and the Beast (which I maintain holds up better than the others, but I couldn’t make that argument effectively at the time). A laugh erupted from the room, and my cheeks burned because I knew we were just getting started.
The next question he read was “Where would you like to travel?” The others had said “Australia,” “Japan.” I wrote “Wherever a book takes me.”
The laughter this time had an explosive quality to it. The kids were high-fiving.
The final question was “What do you like to do on the weekends?” The other kids wrote “Hang out with friends” and “go to the mall.” I wrote “perform with Clowns for Christ.”
Those who weren’t laughing at me were sort of staring at me in disgust. I felt about an inch tall. I remember fixating on my Trapper Keeper binder and trying to figure out if I could somehow disappear inside it.
But then, something amazing happened.
A voice from the back of the room said, “Guys, cut it out.” And the room went silent. The voice belonged to Michelle Siever, and Michelle Siever was popular and cool. Michelle Siever had sway. The room was quiet.
But Michelle wasn’t done. She turned to the teacher and said, “Why are you letting this happen? What is the point if we’re just gonna make fun of each other?”
I don’t remember the teacher or the kids’ names, but I remember Michelle Siever’s name. I remember how it felt when she spoke up for me because she showed me that day that we actually have three options. You can be cool, and you might be remembered for a little while. You can be invisible, and you won’t be remembered at all. But if you stand up for somebody when they need you most, then you will be remembered as their hero for the rest of their life.
When is the last time you stood up for somebody when they needed you?
There are 2 questions we need to ask ourselves, because they have a huge impact on what we will achieve, both at work and life in general. Here they are, along with an explanation why old ways won’t open new doors.
Let’s start by looking at those 2 questions:
What do I want?
What am I prepared to do, to get what I want?
What do I want?
Many people waste years twiddling their thumbs, spinning their wheels, because they don’t really know what they want professionally or their life in general. Instead of living life by design, they go from day to day reacting. They often find themselves a part of other people’s plans. Working hard for clients and customers, yet making little real progress in their own space.
Take some time to think about what you want. Success for you should be based on what matters most to you and what gives you your greatest sense of well-being. As the ideas start to flow make sure you capture them. Write everything down. Add as much detail as possible. Don’t worry about it being perfect. It’s your first draft. It’s something you will need to adjust over time. The key thing is to get started.
This process will immediately help you gain more clarity on your destination, allowing you to draw the map.
What am I prepared to do, to get what I want?
The quote above, old ways won’t open new doors, is an age-old saying. It advises us in just 6 words, that if we want something new we must be prepared to do something new. This is challenging. However, it’s also essential, because nothing improves until we improve.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Einstein
So, what are you prepared to do? What improvements are you prepared to make to your strategy, your philosophy and your mindset?
I can’t answer these questions for you, but I can give you some sound advice. When the vision you have is compelling enough, it pulls you. You don’t need to push yourself. You will do what’s required.
If you’d like to achieve at a totally new level, dedicate some time today to answering those questions. You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to plan ahead with confidence, when you know exactly where you’re going. You’ll also be amazed at how much more energy and motivation you have.
In short, when old ways won’t open new doors for you, it’s time to try something better. Something new.
Everyone is getting old; not everyone is growing old. But the path of purposeful aging is accessible to all. It’s fundamental to health, happiness, and longevity.
With a focus on growing whole though developing a sense of purpose in later life, Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? celebrates the experience of aging through inspiring stories, real-world practices, and provocative questions to help readers navigate the path from adulthood to elderhood with choice, curiosity, and courage.
Learning is the basis of our human development; as individuals it is the core of our personal progress. We acquire new knowledge, skills and values, and we discover.
It is possible that learning becomes more difficult with age. But it becomes just impossible if we don’t make the effort to learn, if we don’t study, especially in some fields. Today there are less excuses not to learn: the digital access to information, articles and books, courses, often to codes and data, makes learning easier and often affordable. YouTube has videos on anything you want to learn under the sun!
Unlike many of our other organs, the brain has the ability to constantly change — a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity. New scientific studies show that we’re capable of neurogenesis, a process wherein we create new neurones in certain parts of our brain throughout our lifetime. These ongoing biological processes mean that we have the power to create physical changes in the cellular structures of the brain, developing new nerve pathways, which can directly result in improved cognitive function, a slowed ageing process, and enhanced memory.
A constant learning has it’s own advantages; it Keeps your mind sharp, Improves your memory, increases self-confidence, gives you a feeling of accomplishment, helps you meet people who share your interests, you build on skills you already have & many more!
Some key things that help me:
1. Learn what you want
You’re not in school anymore. There are no rules! Pick any topic that you’re curious about and seek out more information. Now that you are not in school, you have the greatest advantage: you can learn anything you want. Pursue what peaks your interest and never stop learning — your mind will appreciate it.
Keep a List.
If you find something that interests you, but are entrenched in something else? Keep an ongoing list of all the things about which you’re curious. When you have free time, you’ll have an easy place to go to expand your mind. This really helps!
2. Talk to Smart people
Know anybody your truly admire? Somebody who is really good at something that you would like to be good at?
Take them out for a lunch or dinner or just a walk. Ask questions and listen to their answers keenly. You will be amazed at what you can learn if you let someone you admire teach you. This is so simple, each one of us is good at something or other, we can really learn the skills or develop interest in any skill, just by talking to a person who is good at it.
3. Read good books
Some people have great ideas but they aren’t available for lunch. Many of them have written books. What a great way to expose yourself to powerful ideas. If reading isn’t your thing, get over it by starting with books on subjects that really interest you and read small bits at a time. It’s worth it.
If reading is not your thing at all, you can surely listen to different podcasts or watch short videos on the skill on YouTube.
So what are you waiting for? Go out there and learn to play the piano or how to make a cake or whatever it is that you fancy.
Life is indeed about the journey. The funny thing — the ultimate cosmic joke — is that we won’t truly understand that until we’ve taken the journey.
Sometime back I listened to a Howard Stern interview with Jonah Hill. They were discussing topics such as taking notes on a film and why Jonah wanted to host SNL for a fifth time — which prompted Hill to say this:
“The only reward is the process… The reward of filmmaking for me, of this film, would be to get to make another film because it’s what I love to do. And [that’s] something that actually is the truth, but it’s just hard to stick to because as human beings you’re like, ‘Oh but I want this validation or I want that validation’… The process is the reward. That’s it.”
Hill also talked about having a young, validation-driven headspace when he had been nominated for two Oscars. So Howard asked, “Do you fear you’d never be nominated again? Like now you’d really be in the moment, you’d be present…” And Jonah smartly replied, “No because the point is by the time you get something like that, by the time you’re ready for it, that’s not the thing that makes you happy…”
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Albert Camus
Thepursuit of success is, in and of itself, success. If anyone aspires to “be successful” they’re missing the point. Lots of people want to be the noun without doing the verb. They want the job title without the work. Let go of the thing that you’re trying to be (the noun), and focus on the actual work you need to be doing (the verb).
The point: DO. Or, more to the language of this article: Take the journey. The point is not about being successful or being an artist; it’s to put in the work, to play, to discover.
We all set goals. But goals are not destinations. Goals are guideposts along the journey. Then again, we need to take the journey just to realize that the journey in and of itself was the “destination” we were seeking in the first place.
I’m still on the journey. And I can say I’ve committed myself to identifying and defining the meaning contained within the phrase, “life is about the journey, not the destination.”
Kenrick Vaz 