Light at the end of the Tunnel

Clambering through the darkness
Grasping at whatever you can
Heading toward that glimpse of light
Doing the best you can

Stumbling and falling
Time and time again
Focused only on that glimpse of light
At the very end

So weary and fragile
You must struggle on
As the light is getting closer
It won’t be very long

You know you must continue
Even though it’s incredibly tough
Your body wants to stop and rest
You have just had enough

Determined to reach the light
One step at a time
As it’s getting brighter
Leaving the darkness behind

The darkness now has faded
You finally reached that light
It took some time to get there
All is clearer and bright

So when times are hard
It’s seems there’s no end in sight
Keep on persevering
Remember that glimpse of light

“There is a light at the end of the tunnel”!

Allurement? Inducement?

As state governments in India pass laws on religious conversion, and political leaders create disharmony by talking about allurement and inducement in changing religions, a poor man who had converted from the religion of his forefathers to that of a so called foreign god, stood in front of a judge in a courtroom somewhere in India wearing a dhoti and a torn, worn out discarded shirt from someone else’s wardrobe.

The judge looked at him sternly and asked, “Did you change your religion out of your own free will?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Was there any allurement or inducement that made you do so?”

“Yes, your honor!” said the poor man and the courtroom buzzed with excitement.

“What was the inducement offered?” asked the judge peering at the poor villager and getting ready to close the case.

“The promise of an attractive spiritual life and of a God who listens to me!”

“Was there no other inducement?”

“No, your honor, I was not offered any money to change my God, as I was offered by all the candidates in the last elections to change my vote! And your honor?”

“Yes?” asked the judge.

“When political parties offer free TV’s, free electricity, cheap rice, free housing and money in the bank..”

“Yes, yes I know!” said the judge.

“Isn’t that allurement and inducement?”

“I am the one asking the questions!” said the judge.

“I am sorry your honor. And your honor?”

“I told you I am the one…”

“I am a poor man…”

“Yes, I know,” said the judge.

“Poor and uneducated!”

“I know that!”

“Starving and hungry!”

“What are you leading up to?” asked the impatient judge.

“Despite being all this, you have still given me the freedom to vote!”

“That is the right of every citizen of this country!” said the judge proudly, “and it is my duty to see that no one stops you from exercising this right!”

“Thank you your honor!,” said the poor man and there was a hush in the courtroom as he drew himself to his full height of five feet four inches and said,

“If I, your honor, can be trusted with the right to vote a government out of power, then why your honor can’t I the same poor man be trusted to change my religion and my God when I want to, without having to give an explanation to you or any officer in this country? Let me test another god as much as I test a new government! If I am good enough to vote then your honor, I am good enough to choose my faith, isn’t it?”

There was silence in the courtroom as the poor man sat down.

Will Power

Nothing is possible without will power. On the strength of strong willpower, a person can make the impossible possible. Many such examples will be found in history when people often did impossible tasks on the strength of strong will.

A person desires to achieve a lot in this world, but in the absence of a strong will, s/he is unable to make proper efforts. Hence, s/he has to face defeat. Many people curse fate for their failure/defeat. Some people become content with only a little success and do not make further efforts. High-level success, complete victory requires strong willpower.

Here is a story that I heard a few years back.

In the year 1883, an engineer named John Rambling came up with the idea of building a grand bridge connecting New York and Long Island in America. When he talked to other engineers about this, they made fun of Rambling and tried to convince him not to do such stupid work. Everyone said that it is impossible to build this bridge. John Rambling did not agree with this, his heart said that he could definitely build this bridge. He somehow got his stubborn son Washington ready to build the bridge. Both father and son, one by one, prepared hundreds of maps of this bridge and proceeded to find a solution to every disruption in this work.

With extraordinary enthusiasm and dedication, he got involved in this challenging and almost impossible task. The work was going on well. A few months later, John Rambling died in a tragic accident at the construction site. His son Washington suffered some such shock that he was no longer able to walk and talk. People started talking about him in various ways. Nobody praised his courage, other engineers said that now the work should be stopped.

Washington did not get discouraged even after physical incapacity. Even after being crippled, he was able to fulfill his father’s dream with double enthusiasm and dedication. His body was destroyed. While lying in his room in the hospital, a wonderful thought flashed in his mind, he shook his finger and found a way to communicate with his wife. He would tell his wife what the engineers should do with a twitch of a hand. At this stage, work resumed somehow, and for the next 13 years, Washington continued to give instructions by pointing his fingers at his wife’s arm. Eventually, the pool was formed.

Today, the magnificent ‘Brooklyn Bridge’ enchants the viewer with its grandeur and workmanship. He tells us that every situation is defeated in the face of indomitable will and perseverance. At the same time, he also tells us about people with life whom the world considers crazy. He also tells the story of love and dedication for her husband to the woman who, for years, with her finger snatching the messages of her disabled husband on his arm, kept telling the engineers what to do.

This true story, on the strength of indomitable will (strong willpower), gives the message of making the impossible possible.

Starve your Fear, Feed your Faith

Fear is a reality of life. It’s true for believers and non-believers. Fear keeps us from living our normal lives. It cripples us and prevents us from doing what God wants us to do.

We know we should not feed our fear or dwell on it, because if we do, it controls us. We should know this: fear takes control of us, only if we allow it! Here is a story that supports that.

An American Indian once shared:
“It seems that I have two dogs fighting in my heart: one is a very good dog, a beautiful dog and is always watching out for my best interests. The other is a very bad dog, which is always trying to destroy the things that I want to build up. These dogs give me a lot of trouble because they are always quarreling and fighting each other.” One of his friends looked up and asked, “Which one wins?” The American Indian said, “Whichever one I give in to.”

The more we entertain fear, the more it controls and cripples us. Remember: fear takes control of us, only if we allow it!

Here is another story, by an unknown author, entitled “Can sleep when the wind blows.”

Years ago a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer.

“Are you a good farmhand?” the farmer asked him.

“Well, I can sleep when the wind blows,” answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him.

The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man’s work.

Then, one night a loud wind and storm rushed from offshore.

Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand’s sleeping quarter. He shook the little man and yelled, “Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!”

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, “No, sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with covers. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, the doors were barred and the shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away.

The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant. So, he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

The moral of the story is this: When we are prepared spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically in advance, we have nothing to fear. When we have done our part, well in advance, we have nothing to fear! We just need to feed our faith in God!

Can we sleep when the wind blows through our life? I wish we would.

Limits are only inside our Head

A lot of people believe that if a person has health issues, then he or she will never be capable of having a full and happy life. But it’s not true.

Here are stories of 5 people who have achieved their goals and brought happiness to their lives, despite illnesses or difficulties. They live the way they want and do what they love.

Turia Pitt

The story of the Australian model Turia Pitt who “lost” her face in a fire leaves no one indifferent. When she was 24, she became the victim of a terrible fire. As a result, her body burn percentage was 64%. The girl spent 6 months in the hospital, went through a lot of operations, and lost all of her fingers on the right hand and 3 fingers on the left. However, she lives a full life now, takes part in fashion photo shoots, trains, surfs, rides a bike, and works as a mining engineer.

Nando Parrado

Nando Parrado survived a plane crash and waited for help for 72 days. The crash survivors had to drink melting snow and sleep side by side so as not to freeze to death. There was very little food, so they had to eat anything they could find in the winter forest. 60 days after the crash, Nando and 2 of his friends decided to go for help through the ice desert. Nando lost almost his entire family in the plane crash, and he lost 90 lb over the following 2 months. Now he is a motivational speaker, and he tells people how to achieve their goals in life.

Jessica Cox

Jessica Cox is the world’s first licensed armless pilot. She was born in 1983 without her arms due to a rare birth defect. Her parents did everything for the girl to lead a normal life: Jessica learned how to eat by herself, get dressed, attended a regular school, and even learned to write. Since her childhood, she was afraid to fly, and even swings were too much for her. But she decided to fight her fear. In 2008, she qualified to fly a light-sport aircraft. That was how she became the first armless pilot in the world and made it into the Guinness World Records.

Michael J. Fox

Michael J. Fox lives with Parkinson’s disease and supports others. The leading star of Back to the Future was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease at the age of 30. After that, he had troubles with alcohol. However, he managed to overcome his addiction, and he became a strong advocate of Parkinson’s disease research. Thanks to his efforts, $350 million has been collected for the research of this disease.

Patrick Henry Hughes

Patrick Henry Hughes became a musician despite his blindness and inability to walk. He was born without eyes and unable to fully straighten his arms and legs, making him unable to walk. His father introduced him to the piano at the age of 9 months. He later entered the University of Louisville and was invited to join the Louisville Marching Band, playing the trumpet while his father pushed him in his wheelchair through the marching routines. Since then, he has given a lot of concerts in the USA and has been on many TV shows together with his family.

Our Happiness is with Others

Everyone wants to find happiness in life. No matter what our circumstances, and no matter what hand we are dealt, the search for true contentment is at the heart of everyone’s goals.

The question, then, is how? How are we supposed to even begin looking for it?

A group of people gathered in a room attending a seminar about life and happiness to learn to find happiness in their lives.

They were being taught various skills and lessons about life. Suddenly, the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. He asked everyone to write one’s name on it using a pen. All the balloons were then collected and taken to an another room.

Now, these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes.

Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

No one could find their balloons within the given five minute time and they all had to return to the other room empty handed.

Then they were told to go to the other room and randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within five minutes everyone was carrying the balloon with their name on it.

The speaker began: This is exactly happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

Are you a good listener?

Think of the last time you truly felt heard, a time where your thoughts and feelings weren’t skimmed over or ignored. The act of speaking actually makes you feel lighter. You don’t feel judged. You feel empowered.

Not everyone lets you feel that way. Sometimes listening seems to be a special skill, maybe reserved only for a select few. People’s appraisal of their listening ability is much like their assessment of their driving skills, in that the great bulk of adults think they’re above average.

What is it then, that makes someone a good listener?

Most people think good listening comes down to doing three things:

Not talking when others are speaking
Letting others know you’re listening through facial expressions and verbal sounds (“Mmm-hmm”)
Being able to repeat what others have said, practically word-for-word

But it is definitely more than that!

Don’t Give Advice Unless It’s Asked For

Advice is usually offered with the best intentions. But when someone is telling their story or venting, they aren’t necessarily looking for answers. More specifically, they aren’t necessarily looking for your answers. Not everyone is the same and not every problem needs the same solution.

It’s obviously different when someone asks for advice. Sharing a problem you need advice on is often different from venting. Venting is just a way of expressing frustration. But when we want help solving a problem, we usually ask.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

It’s helpful as a listener to ask the right questions. You don’t want to grill them but open-ended questions show that you’re engaged and want to know more.

It allows you to interact and make it a conversation without pressing too hard or demanding information. It makes the other person feel more comfortable talking to you without feeling like a burden.

Don’t Turn the Table Back to You

When you’re listening to someone else, it’s important not to bring the attention back to yourself. Bringing up your own personal experiences can add value to the conversation, especially when you’re trying to relate. But it isn’t helpful when it turns into the other person listening to you vent about your problems.

When someone brings up their problems, it shouldn’t be an opportunity for you to make it about yourself.

Have Empathy

This is the most important, in listening and in life. Being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and have an understanding of what they’re going through is a valuable skill. It puts the other person at ease and makes them feel comfortable talking to you.

Empathy helps you avoid feeling pity. Pity can take you two steps backwards as a listener. No one wants to feel like a charity case talking about their problems.

Being a good listener makes you a better friend and family member. Be the kind of listener you would want to talk to. Someone supportive and understanding without being condescending. The more we try to listen and understand others, the more we understand the world we live in. Have empathy, listen, and be kind.

Coffee on the Wall

One evening I was in a well-known coffee shop with my friend in a neighboring town of Venice, Italy, the city which is known as the city of lights and water.

As we were enjoying our precious time, an old man entered and sat at an empty table next to us. He called the waiter and placed his order saying, “Two cups of coffee, one on the wall.”

We, sitting, next to him noticed that he was served with one cup but he paid for two.

When he left, the waiter placed a cup on the wall with a notice “A Cup of Coffee.”

While we were still there, two men came and ordered 3 Cups. They had two but paid for three and left. This time again, the waiter placed a Cup on the wall saying, “A Cup of Coffee”.

It was something unique and perplexing for us. We were getting late so, we finished, paid the bill and left.

After a few days, we visited the shop again. While we were having our coffee, a man poorly dressed entered. He got his seat and looked at the wall and said, “One cup from the wall.”

The waiter offered him the coffee with the customary respect and dignity. The man enjoyed and left without paying.

We were stunned to see all this, as the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the trash bin.

Now it was well understood – the matter was very clear.

Such respect for the needy ones like this man made our eyes well up in tears. He enters the shop with dignity.

He does not have to ask for a free cup.

He is served this Cup of Coffee without asking or knowing about the one who has paid for that.

He just has to look at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoy his coffee.

A truly beautiful thought. Probably the most beautiful wall you’ll ever see anywhere!

Stuck Somewhere You Don’t Belong?

There is nothing more painful than staying stuck somewhere you do not belong.

It could be in a job, relationship, or marriage. Feeling stuck is a place where goals and dreams get lost, careers and relationships are exhaustive, self-care is neglected, and you know you need a change but cannot figure out where to begin.

Despite your age, race, and personal achievements you will experience stuck-ness at some point in your life. Even when you plan your life with intention, life has a way of throwing curve balls that could leave you feeling stuck in a rut, watching others passing you by.

Most People Settle in Stuck-ness due to:

Endless Disappointments – You experience constant disappointments in your daily life. You are tired of being tired!
Breakdown of Relationships – When there is a lack of trust and confidence in your work and personal relationships.
Lack of Accountability – Constantly making excuses and blaming others and circumstances instead of taking responsibility for decisions and actions.
Lack of Purpose – When you are not able to align your purpose with your momentum.

It Is Time To A.C.T

Acknowledge the need for change- Acknowledge where you are, your feelings, mistakes and make a decision to move forward. Oprah knows this well, she said, “For years I was stuck in a weight trap, yo-yoing up and down the scale. I made a decision two years ago to stop wishing, praying, and wanting, wanting, wanting to be better. Instead, I figured out what it would take to improve my life. Then I decided to do it.”

Clarify your visions- You cannot do anything until clarity comes. This is when you stop trying to control everything and stand still so you can hear your voice, instead of the voices of the world.

Take the time to do the work- When we feel stuck, we want to fix things immediately so we can get back on track. However, it is a process, and you will need some help. Don’t be ashamed to talk to a friend or an expert. Remember, even Oprah and Richard Branson needed help to build their empire. So take the time and seek the support you need to get unstuck.

The good news is with a clear vision, passionate belief, and the willingness to give it everything you got, your relationship and career will no longer be a chore. They will become the joy you look forward to each day.

Create an action plan with S.M.A.R.T goals

Specific– What you want to accomplish; where it is located; when it will happen; and why you are doing it- the purpose or benefits.
Measurable– How you will know your goal is accomplished
Attainable– Steps on how you will attain your goals
Realistic– Be realistic about the goal you are working towards
Timely – A time frame, for accountability

You have done the work, which is great, but you are not in the clear. Your inner critic will find the PERFECT reasons why you don’t need to change.

Pride – I am perfectly fine, they are the problem, not me
Ego – My version of what is going on is right
Resentment – I am this way because of…
Fear – Who do you think you are? No one wants to hear what you think
Emotions – This is how I feel, and that is it
Concern – I cannot move on. What if?
Trust– Listen to me, don’t rock the boat, you are safe right where you are

Life is too short to remain stuck in the same place, especially when that place doesn’t feed your soul. Today, make the choice to do whatever it takes to get unstuck. Because “If we stay where we are, where we’re stuck, where we’re comfortable and safe, we die there.” ~ Anne Lamott.

Relax your Mind, Body and Soul

During hectic times, it’s tough to remember that relaxation is more than a luxury. In fact, humans need to relax to maintain balance in their lives. Work stress, family strife, and mounting responsibilities can exact a tremendous toll. Relaxing should be at the top of the list as a healthy coping measure and as a rewarding self-gift. Why do we so often neglect this healing self-care? Do you know the healthiest ways to relax your mind, body and soul?

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to relaxing is that some of us have a difficult time slowing the treadmill we put ourselves on daily. Even getting off it temporarily may be problematic. After all, we tell ourselves, there’s just so much to do and so little time to get it all done. No wonder we’re frazzled, anxious, fearful, worried and vulnerable, sometimes at the same time.

In our increasingly connected society, where time is our most precious commodity and business success is measured by our levels of productivity and efficiency, it’s easy to want to “power through” life’s setbacks and keep on top of our daily work. When you’re going through the healing process though, only complete rest will ensure that you’re able to bounce back to 100% — and that rest involves every aspect of your being, body, mind, and soul.

Here are some things to remember the next time you have that urge to “power through” and ignore your need to rest, relax, and recharge.

Don’t be Patient X / Ground Zero

We’ve all had experiences with that one coworker who insists on coming in, even though it’s fairly – sometimes painfully – obvious that they’re still recovering from their ailments. They may do so out of a sense of duty, and/or because they feel it’s an admirable gesture to their workplace and team.

… It’s not. Don’t be that person who puts their coworkers at risk of getting sick. Even the thought of being in close proximity with someone who may be contagious isn’t a very pleasant one. Do yourself and your team a favor – stay away until you’re back to 100%.

Email Is Endless

It’s better to accept this fact now and work around it, rather than trying to beat it: if you work, especially if you work in the corporate world, then you should know that email is endless. There is no “Inbox Zero,” at least for the long term.

People will always be reaching out to you, at all hours of the day and night, and even on weekends. This is true for email as well as with messaging applications, from texting to social media. If you’re out sick and constantly checking and responding to your messages, you’re setting an unrealistic expectation of your involvement in these conversations – you may be able to keep up with some but eventually, you’ll begin to slow down and not keep up with others. This isn’t fair to you or to the others you’re communicating and working with.

For emergency situations, ask them to call you. Otherwise, let them know you’re out, provide them with realistic options for follow up, then disconnect. Which brings us to the next point.

To truly disconnect, start with your brain

It’s easy to physically disconnect and unplug from all the ways you interact with others: you can turn off your wifi and computer, silence your phone, and avoid social media. But for those used to a high level of productivity on a daily basis, mentally disconnecting may be easier said than done.

When you’re at home, away from the distractions of the office – phone calls, email, meetings – you may feel the need to take advantage of this “downtime” and think through some projects and other work you otherwise wouldn’t have as much time for, on a regular day. This in of itself is still leaving you connected to your work, and not allowing your mind to completely clear itself so your body can recover.

Your body has a natural signal to your brain when it needs that healing time – if you feel the need to sleep, do so. Don’t fight it. If you’re tired and/or weak but your brain is still going a hundred miles per hour, take measures to slowly wind down and relax. Take a shower, read a book, watch a little Netflix; your brain, and body, will thank you for it.

Taking the time to rest, relax, and recharge does wonders for you, on all levels: mind, body, and soul.