Character vs Competence

Growing a team, whether at work or anywhere else, onboarding the right people is key. Competence is necessary, no doubt about that. But for me, character is also very important. A person of integrity who is not skilled for the role will only grow frustrated while frustrating everyone else. So competence is important, but character is more so, and here are four reasons why:

1. Collective character cannot overcome a team member’s lack of character.

If someone joins the team who is not competent in the role, the collective competence of the team can cover the competence deficiencies. Collective competence can mask a lack of competence, but collective character cannot mask someone’s lack of character. If someone joins the team without integrity, the team’s integrity will not cover the person’s lack of integrity.

2. Competence is much easier to teach than character.

While people can surely grow and mature in their character, teaching skills and competence is much easier. A lack of character requires transformation, not just new information.

3. Character impacts the culture more than competence does.

A team member’s lack of character, if not addressed, can corrode trust and sour the whole culture. A lack of competence may harm execution, but a lack of character harms the culture.

4. People need leaders with character more than leaders with competence.

When you consider developing future leaders from the team, you will want men and women of character. Competence may grab attention, but character sustains for the long haul.

The Bamboo Tree

A man got frustrated with life. Despite all the hard work and effort, failure was all that he learnt.  Feeling defeated with life, he left everything and exiled himself in the woods. There he met a Hermit. The disappointed man shared is failure with the hermit. “Give me one good reason not to quit?”- He pleaded the Hermit

“Look”, the hermit said, pointing towards two plants. “Do you see that fern and bamboo there?

“Yes”, the man nodded.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them water, light and fertilizer. Within a short period of time the fern quickly grew from the earth”, the hermit continued.

“But despite the Bamboo seed being watered and nurtured for years, it did not outwardly grow as much as an inch. In fact, nothing at all happened in the first year. There was no sign of growth.  But, I did not give up on the Bamboo seed and continued to water and nurture it.  By the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. And within six months, the tree grew a hundred feet tall.”

“So, did the bamboo tree lie dormant for four years only to grow exponentially in the fifth?” the hermit asked.  Baffled by the question the man kept quiet.  “The answer is quite obvious. The little tree was growing underground, developing a root system strong enough to support its potential for outward growth in the fifth year and beyond. Had the tree not developed a strong foundation, it would not have sustained its life as it grew.”

“Did you know that all the time you had been struggling, you were growing strong roots”, remarked the hermit

The man learned his lesson that day. He learnt the value of persistence and hard work. The fern and the bamboo stood right in front of him as he walked towards his life to continue to work on his dreams.

Thomas Edison and a Note

One day the young Thomas Edison came home and handed a paper to his mother from his school. He told her, “My teacher gave this paper to me and told me to give it only to you.”

His mother’s eyes were tearful as she read the letter out loud to her son. “ Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn’t have good teachers for training him. Please teach him yourself.”

After years, Edison’s mother died and he was renowned as one of the greatest inventors of the century. One day he was going through his old family things. Suddenly, he noticed a folded paper in the corner of a drawer. He took it and opened it up.

On the paper was written: “Your son is addled. We won’t let him come to school any more.”

Thomas Edison cried for hours and then he wrote in his diary: “Thomas Alva Edison was an addled child that, by a hero mother, became the genius of the century.”

Price of a Miracle

A little girl ran to her bedroom and pulled out her piggy bank from a secret drawer in her closet. She broke the piggy bank and took the change and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total has to be exactly perfect as there shouldn’t be any chance for mistake here.

She carefully placed the coins in a jar and twisted on the cap. She took the jar full of coin and slipped out of the back door. She made her way six blocks to a drug store. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy attending other customers at that moment. She tried several times to get his attention, but she wasn’t successful.  Finally, she took a quarter from her jar and banged on the glass counter , which was finally able to get her some attention.

“And what do you want little miss ?” the pharmacist asked the tiny girl in the front of his counter.

“My brother is really, really sick… and I want to buy a miracle.,” the girl answered back.

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“My brother  is really sick and my daddy says only a miracle can cure him now. So, I want to get a miracle for him. how much does a miracle cost?”

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you, We don’t sell miracles here, little girl.” the pharmacist said, softening a little.

“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get more. Just tell me how much it costs.”

Next to the little girl was a tall well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother need?”

“I don’t know,” the girl replied with her eyes filled with tears. “I just know he is very sick and has something bad growing inside his head. Doctor says he needs an operation. But daddy can’t pay for it, so we need a miracle to save him now. I can to use all my money to save my brother .”

“How much do you have?” asked the man.

“One dollar and twelve cents, it’s all the money I have now, but I can get some more if needed” the girl  answered barely audibly.

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and twelve cents, that  is the exact price of a miracle for a little brothers.”

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he softly holded her hand  and said “Take me to your brother. I want to meet your parents and see your brother. Let’s see if I have the miracle your brother needs.”

The man was a reputed Nuero surgeon. He was just the right person needed to save the little boy’s life. The operation was completed without any charges and it wasn’t long until the little girl’s brother was home again and doing well.

Mommy and daddy were happily talking about the chain of events that  had led them to this happy place. “That surgery”, her Mommy whispered, “it was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?”

The little girl smiled as she knew exactly how much a miracle costs. One dollar and twelve cents, plus the faith of a little child.

Sitting with the broken

When you think about all the kings and leaders that have ruled throughout human history, few, if any of them, are regarded as people worth following. But look to nearly any religion, major or minor, and you’ll find a fairly common theme. Their messiahs and prophets, while very much human and fallible, all worked toward the same ends.

The Buddha, who saw great human suffering, sought to learn a way to be released from Earthly suffering. The prophet Muhammad was a courageous and strong leader, but merciful and ever-focused on lasting peace for people. Jesus Christ was famous for sitting with the broken, shunning organized religion and the wealthy elite who took everything and gave back nothing.

These people, for whom entire faiths are based around, sacrificed their time as living people for the betterment of others. They each sat with the broken when they full well didn’t have to. Buddha could have continued to be a wealthy, powerful man. Christ could have quietly lived a life as a carpenter. Muhammad could have made a comfortable living as a merchant. But they all chose something else, and that is the source of our respect for them.

Regardless of the way you might think about the world, it’s undeniably true that, particularly in developed countries, there’s a growing disparity between the rich and everyone else. Even average people who’ve done everything right are one stroke of bad luck away from complete ruin.

But the situation is made better by people with big hearts acting in good faith trying to do what they can to help. Volunteering their time, organizing food drives, and through action compelling others to do the same.

Then there are others who are focused on number one: themselves. It is so much less attractive to see somebody surround themselves with the greats and completely ignore the broken.

It doesn’t matter to me who you know, who you’ve met, or who you’ve got an awesome selfie with. It matters to me the broken people you’ve sat with. The hungry, the poor, the suffering, the downtrodden. It is the mark of an incredible person to sit with the broken in this way.

Do you pump up the powerful people you’re connected to or quietly give up parts of your life to help those who have less?

Incredible people whose actions can reverberate throughout history are those who care for people most of the world ignores.

How do you want to be remembered?

More than a decade ago, a man was reading his morning newspaper. To his surprise and horror, he read his name in the obituary column. The news papers had mistakenly reported the death of the wrong person for sure. He was shocked to read news headline  about his death. When he regained his composure, He read it to find out what people had said about him.

The obituary included sentences like, “Dynamite King Dies.” and “He was the merchant of death.”. The man was the inventor of dynamite and when he read the words “merchant of death,” he asked himself a question,

“Is this how I am going to be remembered?” he asked himself. He decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered and he decided to change.

From that day on, he started working toward world peace. His name was Alfred Nobel and he is remembered today by the great Nobel Prize, the greatest of all the prizes.

The Nobel Prize has been honoring men and women from all corners of the globe for outstanding achievements in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, and for work in peace since 1901. The foundations for the prize were laid in 1895 when Alfred Nobel wrote his last will, leaving much of his wealth to the establishment of the Nobel Prize.

It is never late to start over!

Intimacy with the Almighty

I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that we have a chance to connect at such a deep level with the almighty, to get intimate with an infinite force! God gave us free will to choose Him, an invitation, respecting our choices, without wanting to control us. Want intimacy with Him? Then make the first move towards Him. From Genesis to Revelation we read of a God who loves His people and desires to have fellowship with them. Since this is such an important matter to God, it also needs to be high on our list of priorities. As we commit ourselves to grow in intimacy with God through prayer, it is important that we examine biblical accounts of those who had this intimate walk with God. It will help us better grasp how special a close relationship can be.

David provides one of the best examples of intimacy with God in prayer. In spite of his sins and problems, David longed for intimacy with the Lord. Feel David’s passion in this Psalm:

O God, my God! How I search for you!
How I thirst for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.
How I long to find you! 
How I wish I could go into your sanctuary to see your strength and glory, 
For your love and kindness are better to me than life itself.

How I praise you! I will bless you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. At last I shall be fully satisfied; I will praise you with great joy.

I lie awake at night thinking of you— of how much you have helped me—
and how I rejoice through the night beneath the protecting shadow of your wings. 
I follow close behind you, protected by your strong right arm

Psalm 63:1-8

David cries out for God, expressing his desire for intimacy with Him. Could it be that we are not intimate with God because we don’t want to be? Have we never gotten thirsty enough to desire Him and Him alone? Are our lives so saturated with things and activities that we have never really missed being alone with God?

Three simple steps to grow in this area of intimacy and develop such a passion for God

  1. Spend more time with God
  2. Spend more time with people who are in love with God
  3. Spend more time getting to know God through His word

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.
~ Pedro Arrupe SJ

Wranglers and Stranglers

Many years ago there were a group of brilliant young men at the University of Wisconsin.  The group of men seemed to have an amazing creative literary talent and were extraordinary in their ability to put their literary skills to its best use. These promising young men met regularly to read and critique each other’s literary works.

These men were merciless while they criticized one another. They dissected the most minute of the expressions and offered tough and even mean criticism to each others work. Their  meeting sessions became arenas of literary criticism and the members of this exclusive club called themselves the “Stranglers.”

Not to be excluded to the opportunity to level up their literary skills, the women of literary interest in the university started a club of their own, one comparable to Stranglers. The members called themselves the “ Wranglers.” The member of the club too presented their literary pieces in front of each another. But the feedback from the members were much more softer, more positive and more encouraging. Every effort from a member, even the most feeble one, was encouraged by all.

After twenty years, a university alumnus was doing a study of his classmates’ career when he noticed a huge difference  in the literary accomplishments of the Stranglers and the Wranglers.

Among all the brilliant young men in the stranglers, none had made any significant literary achievement. But the Wranglers had several successful writers and some renowned national literary talents.

The talent and the education between the two groups were almost the same. There were not much difference. The Stranglers strangled each other while the Wranglers gave each other a lift. The stranglers created atmosphere of contention and self doubt while the Wranglers brought out the best in each other.

The Frozen Bird

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s smart to keep your mouth shut!

Learning to Love Obstacles

Ryan Holiday in his book The Obstacle is the Way explores the idea that obstacles are actually our best friends, our wisest teachers, our greatest allies. Using examples from Marcus Aurelius to Amelia Earhart, Ulysses S. Grant to Barack Obama, he shows that the greatest feats in humanity weren’t accomplished in the absence of obstacles — they were accomplished because of them. Obstacles are just blessings in disguise. And so instead of cowering before the monstrous obstacles in our life, we should learn to embrace them.

Here are reasons why we should love obstacles with quotes from Ryan’s book.

1. Obstacles Show Us Who We Really Are

Certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. When that happens — at that exposing moment — the world gets a glimpse of what’s truly inside you. So what will be revealed when you’re sliced open by tension and pressure? Iron? Or air? Or bullshit?

2. Obstacles Instruct Us on What We Need to Do Next

In every situation, that which blocks our path actually presents a new path with a new part of us. If someone you love hurts you, there is a chance to practice forgiveness.

3. Obstacles Make Us Tougher

Nobody is born with a steel backbone. We have to forge it ourselves.

4. Obstacles Help Us Focus on What’s Important

We want to have goals, yes, so everything we do can be in service to something purposeful. When we know what we’re really setting out to do, the obstacles that arise tend to seem smaller, more manageable.

5. Obstacles Make Us More Creative

Only in struggling with the impediments that made others quit can we find ourselves on untrodden territory—only by persisting and resisting can we learn what others were too impatient to be taught.

6. Obstacles Help Us Find (or Define) Meaning in Our Lives

There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.

7. Obstacles Remind Us That the Deepest Meaning is Found Outside of Ourselves

You won’t have time to think of your own suffering, because there are other people suffering and you’re too focused on them.

8. Obstacles Can Give Us Inner Peace

If what’s up to us is the playing field, then what is not up to us are the rules and conditions of the game.

The biggest, baddest obstacles in life — think natural disasters, economic depressions, and untimely death — remind us something that’s easy to forget: how little control we actually have over most things in life. Yet in the same breath, we’re reminded of the single thing we do have control over: our reaction.

These obstacles remind us of the importance of detaching what happens to us from how we react. As we internalize this, we’re able to achieve a higher level of inner peace. And this inner peace allows us to love our obstacles even more.