Kenrick Vaz

Reach New Heights

It’s more natural to think that if a plane takes off in the same direction as the wind, the wind will help it gain speed and make the take off easier. Wouldn’t moving against the wind create more resistance? However it turns out that going against the wind allows the plane to lift off a lot quicker.

The airplane has no chance of getting off the ground unless it has some opposition. It’s got to go into the wind to be lifted to the heights of its possibility. We are often faced with the winds of opposition, the winds of adversity. There are two things that could happen

They can send us adrift, send us off the track, take us away from our goals.
They can lift us, life us to a higher ground, to new heights.

An Example

When Beethoven was 26 years old, he started experiencing hearing problems which later became total deafness. Yet, Beethoven went on to compose some of his greatest accomplishments after his hearing loss. He had a strong passion for music, and even though everything seemed to be going against him, he showed tremendous determination to overcome his challenge and fulfill his desire to compose.

Challenges are not the issue; it is our individual response to those challenges. If a challenge is seen as an insurmountable roadblock then that is what it becomes. But, if the challenge is seen in terms of finding a solution, then you are on your way to further your goal.

The air itself tries to drag a plane back as it tries to push through the air and gravity wants to pull it down – but with enough thrust and lift, you can overcome both – apply the same principle to your challenges – let your resolve and your positive attitude act as your thrust, then see how much lift it creates for you.

Chip Away At Yourself Everyday

On August 16, 1501, Michelangelo was chosen to the execute the herculean task of sculpting the greatest sculpture ever created, The David. Shortly after receiving the commission, Michelangelo set to work. From a massive block of marble excavated in Northern Tuscany, he chipped away, day after day, week after week, month after month…until just over two years later he’d finished the massive undertaking.

The David is a one-piece marble wonder. The marble block, previously rejected by 2 other artists, waited 42 years for Michelangelo to find it and create his 17 foot high masterpiece. He took the enormous block of marble and chiseled away until he uncovered the sublime beauty that lay inside.

And this is precisely what we need to do with ourselves. Our block of marble is the totality of our entire being. We need to chip away at our grievances, grudges, insecurities, fears, anxieties, pride, vulnerabilities and feelings of superiority and inferiority that we all possess to one degree or another.

Shedding yourself of yourself takes precedence over everything. Why? Because getting closer and closer to our true selves makes us better at everything. Better parents, better friends, better workers, better human beings.

To get a little scientific, a body in motion, stays in motion and a body at rest, stays at rest. Almost all effort is used up in the initial change. For instance, take the rocket. It uses up 90% of it’s fuel getting off the ground. The rest is smooth sailing! So for us, who are bodies at rest, know that the hardest part is initial blast, the start. Put that first small investment into yourself and the rest will follow.

People are often seeing crying when they first set eyes on The David. The sheer size, vitality and force of the statue is emotionally overpowering. The true self deep within us is probably a thousand times more powerful, majestic and beautiful than The David. Our primary job in life is to unearth, with the relentlessness and patience exhibited by Michelangelo, that true self. It’s the greatest thing we can do not just for ourselves, but for the world.

Sincere Friends

I am indeed blest to have friends who I can trust. The truth is nobody wants to deal with friends they can’t trust to give their sincere opinion. You always want to know your friends’ opinion instead of them just accepting whatever you say to them because you are friends. If there is no sincerity and honesty between friends then that relationship is not worth it, One way or the other honesty is a way of showing respect to your friends and it proves that you are not fake.

A sincere friend will find a way to tell you something that may be difficult for you to hear. For example, he/she will tell you if she suspects you drink too much even if saying that to you presents the possibility that you may become angry and irrational and walk away from the friendship. Dr. Alex Lickerman states in an article on the Psychology Today website that a sincere friend is not malicious; they will point out things that may be hard to hear only when they believe that telling you this information is in your best interests.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:6

Telling your friends something they really don’t want to hear takes courage. It says that you care about the person even more than you value the friendship. However, as we all know, it isn’t very easy to have these conversations. It isn’t easy to look your friend in the eye and tell them the truth about how you feel. Also, there is a very fine line between showing concern and coming across as judging your friend’s actions/words. We’ve been on both sides I am sure. Sometimes the friend you feel is judging you isn’t the enemy. On some occasions they are just brave enough to take the flack, in the hope that you’ll do what is in your best interest. It’s always helpful to think about whether or not you are being arbitrarily criticised or whether it is coming from a sincere place of concern.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate those who have the courage to tell you what you don’t want to hear – but need to hear.

Here’s a lovely poem by Edgar A. Guest

I hold no dream of fortune vast,
Nor seek undying fame.
I do not ask when life is past
That many know my name.

I may not own the skill to rise
To glory’s topmost height,
Nor win a place among the wise,
But I can keep the right.

And I can live my life on earth
Contented to the end,
If but a few shall know my worth
And proudly call me friend.

It’s never too late to change your life

Too often we catch ourselves on autopilot mode, caught in the same routine, the same 9-5 grind. Unhappy, unfulfilled, and uninspired we go through life counting time instead of making time count. While it is perfectly normal to crave routine, there is so much more to be discovered outside of our comfort zones.

We tend to create clutter and remain stagnant when we are doing the same old things
Julie Coraccio

I read this story of Liz Berman on Readers Digest.

“I started off making cakes for my kids and quickly realized that baking provided me with a creative outlet that had been missing from my work in human resources. I started posting pictures of my work on Facebook and soon developed a large following. Friends and friends of friends started asking me to make cakes for them, so I figured I should give this a shot as a business! After several years baking at night while working in my office during the day, I decided to take the leap and go full-time with it. That was five years ago and I never looked back! Since then, the business has grown dramatically! It was clearly the best decision for me because it taps into a creative and entrepreneurial side of me that had previously been unfulfilled. The added bonus is I’m able to be home for my kids every day when they come home from school!”

Life can feel overwhelming. Often we weave these complicated webs consisting of commitment, money, work, friends, family and more that seem to hold us in one place. But life is flexible and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, the people who love you will always bend with you to help you change yours if you really need to.

It is never too late to change your life and go after your dreams. You are never stuck. It is never impossible or out of reach. All you have to do is make a start.

Hope you enjoy this song: Change ~ by Above Only

The Power of Appreciation

When was the last time you told someone that you appreciate them? It is something we often take for granted, especially with the people we love and appreciate the most. Sometimes this happens because we’re around them all of the time. Sometimes it’s because we think they surely know how we feel about them. Or sometimes it’s just because we don’t really know or feel comfortable saying it, because it’s personal.

A few weeks back, I made the last trip to office to submit my laptop and other assets as I prepared to move to a new company. It was a very cold feeling for me as it was just a transaction at the security desk and I could not even go to my desk for the last time. I felt low and sad. I was fortunate to meet a colleague that I worked with during the pandemic. He had to make a trip to the office to collect a laptop. It was the first time we were meeting in person. And he took the opportunity to thank me for a making a difference to his life. His words touched me deeply and completely changed my mood and uplifted my spirits.

Appreciation is indeed powerful!

Sometime back I had come across the 4 keys of appreciation: ISOS

Immediate
Express your appreciation immediately, even if it is over a text/Whatsapp/call. Sometimes we want to do something special which may take time. Seize the moment and do it right away! You can always do more later

Specific
Being specific makes it all the more special. Instead of “thank you for all the help”, try “thank you for helping me get that report submitted in time”

Often
Don’t be stingy! Give thank often, appropriately and creatively!

Sincere
Say it only if you mean it. People can easily make out if you are faking it.

The greatest good you can do for another is not to share your riches, but to reveal theirs
Benjamin Disraeli

Reveal the riches in others by expressing appreciation for what you see. The gift of appreciation is indeed the greatest gift you can give. Tell someone today what a difference they have made in your life. Then watch the difference you make in theirs!

P.A.T.H.

We go through a whole gamut of emotions everyday, each with varying degrees of intensity and duration. Most of us are very comfortable with expressing our positive emotions. At the same time, we tend to struggle dealing with our negative emotions. I still have a hard time expressing myself when it comes to negative feelings. I tend to bottle-up which could lead to a point where I end up “exploding” or acting out in a way that is not so nice. Others tend to withdraw, want to be alone.

It’s not negative emotions that directly impact our health and well-being, but how we react and process them when we do experience them that really counts. The good news is that with practice, everyone can do a better job of dealing with their negative emotions in healthy ways. A long time back I came across this lovely mnemonic to deal with uncomfortable or unpleasant feelings/emotions.

Pause

Acknowledge

Think

Help

Step 1: Pause
Rather than act on your feelings right away, stop yourself and think things through.

Step 2: Acknowledge
Identify and accept what you are feeling. It is ok to feel anger, irritation, sadness, fear.

Step 3: Think
Now that you have had a few moments to figure out what you are feeling, think about why you are feeling this way and what is the best way to respond to make you feel better. Very often, we may feel negative emotions based on our assumptions of a situation. Being very objective here helps.

Step 4: Help
Take an action to help you feel better based on the previous step

I still remember my first few days with the Jesuits. Fr. Philip Terrasa SJ, my spiritual guide, asked me what am I feeling and it took me forever to identify exactly what I was feeling. In step 2, identifying what you are feeling could be difficult. Here is Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions which helps me.

As you can see, Plutchik paired the basic emotions with their polar opposites.

Sadness is the opposite of Joy
Anticipation is the opposite of Surprise
Anger is the opposite of Fear
Disgust is the opposite of Trust

Plutchik’s wheel is a strong visual representation of how our emotions present themselves. As you can see the core emotion decreases as you move outward on the wheel. Plutchik also used color to represent the intensity of the emotion: the darker the color, the more intense it is. So at its most intense trust becomes admiration, and at its least intense, acceptance.

I think that this is a fantastic starting resource for helping us further develop our understanding of how our emotions present themselves, how they fluctuate and how they can interact with each other.

Negative emotions are an extremely important part of our existence. Be open to them, embrace their part in your life and learn to incorporate them in proactive ways.

Take control by responding rather than reacting using P.A.T.H., and I’m confident you’ll find new ways of approaching these emotions with authenticity and positivity! ❤️

Do what makes you happy

An Airbus 380 is on its way across Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800km/h in 30,000 ft. when suddenly a Eurofighter jet appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus flight, a boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here” He rolls his jet on his back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to height, only to stoop down almost to sea level. He loops back next to Airbus and asks” Well, how was that?” The Airbus pilot answers: “Very impressive, but now have a look here!”

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, at the same speed. After 5 minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed ” Well, what are you saying now?” The jet pilot asks confused: “What did you do?” The other laughs and says, “I got up, stretched my legs, went to back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee & a cinnamon cake.

All jobs are great! One needs to see which job resonates with you. If you are high on adrenaline, a fighter jet might be your choice, but if you want comfort and peace, Airbus is the one!

Tied to Technology

When I saw this picture on Facebook, I was immediately transported to the days when we got our first landline at home. We were in awe of such a magical device. How times have changed and what a different world we live in. Our phones have become so powerful and we’ve become completely dependent on them. And the sad part is that our behavior, our dependence, regardless of its consequences, has become acceptable, common, and normal. In a sense, we are normalizing a dependence.

Here is a lovely poem I came across

Technology Slaves
Jamie Jarrett

Why do we all prefer to stare
At a 42 inch flat screen glare
Manipulating our thoughts
Stealing our mind
Subliminally corrupting
The whole of mankind

Checking our phones
100 times a day
Leading our consciousness
Miles astray
Technology’s surpassing
Our human interaction
Perfectly designed
To cause a distraction

Can we not see
We’re being restricted
Gradually all
Becoming addicted
We need to slow down
Or we’ll all be convicted
Of being exactly
What Einstein predicted

Einstein’s supposed quote ” I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction, the world will have a generation of idiots”. I say supposed quote as there is no record of Einstein ever saying or writing anything close to those words, despite his papers and quotations being well-documented in several databases and works!

Regardless of who said it, the words do make a lot of sense. Technology has made life easier, safer, longer, and more enjoyable in numerous ways. The trick is finding a balance for how we use technology. Technology should be used as a way to complement our lives, not as a way to run our lives!

The 90% rule that puts you 100% in control

We spend a lot of our time reacting and responding to people and situations around us. And often, we react/respond without thinking. It is an instinctive reaction, spontaneous, a gut reaction, based on fear and insecurities, and it’s not the most rational or appropriate way to act.

I admire those who are cool and calm, very disciplined, no matter what situation they are in. It’s easy to get mad or angry at people — it’s another thing altogether to remain calm and composed when someone pushes your buttons.

I’m slowly learning that reacting to things that upset you gives someone else power over your emotions. You can’t control what others do but you can control how you respond, how you handle it, how you perceive it and how much of it you want to take personally. And most of the time, these situations say nothing about you and a lot about the other person.

Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it
Charles R. Swindoll

Here’s Maria Forleo talking about the 90% rule that puts you 100% in control

The Attitude of Gratitude

Someone with an attitude of gratitude appreciates everything in life. They are grateful for their relationships, their health, their business, and their sense of well-being. Having an attitude of gratitude is important because it shifts your focus from yourself to appreciating someone else or something else.

When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.
Kristin Armstrong

Came across this lovely poem which covers the little things we can be grateful for each day

For all that God in mercy sends –
For health and children, home and friends;
For comfort in the time of need,
For every kindly word and deed,
For happy talks and holy thoughts;
For guidance in our daily walk –
In everything give thanks!

For beauty in this world of ours,
For verdant grass and lovely flowers,
For song of birds, for horn of bees,
For the refreshing summer breeze,
For hill and plain, for streams and wood,
For the great ocean’s mighty flood –
In everything give thanks!

For the sweet sleep which comes with night,
For the returning morning’s light,
For the bright sun that shines on high,
For the stars glittering in the sky –
For these and everything we see,
O Lord our hearts we lift to thee;
In everything give thanks!