Kenrick Vaz

Where are you headed?

I’ve always admired and been inspired by founders of startups who work towards bringing their ideas to life despite all the challenges that come their way. This quote reminded me of them.

Like them we all have dreams and desires. Simply intending or desiring a certain outcome is never enough. Most of us land up not moving forward purposefully on a path that would lead to our desired destination.

A simple example is running a marathon. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. However, just by continuing on my same routine, I’ll never ever get to the point of completing even a short 10km run! Desire is the starting point, but it is never enough to get us to any important destination in our life.

I love this quote from Alice in Wonderland:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” said Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

Does this describe the direction in your life right now?

Two common mistaken notions that many of us fall prey to:

I have plenty of time and someday, when I am not as busy with other important issues, I will get serious about succession planning.
The journey required to develop and implement a thoughtful succession plan is simply too long, too hard or too complex.

The paralysis caused by these false beliefs can be overcome with these five words: Take the first step, today. That’s all that matters. Figure out a plan, start small, take that first step in the right direction.

Don’t dream of being a writer… spend 15 minutes each day writing. Don’t dream of being a great boss… buy a new book each week and mentor people. Don’t dream of running a marathon..start adding one more lap to your existing routine!

Your direction, not your intention, will determine your destination.

Wonder, Bread

Seeing beauty in things we consider beautiful is easy. Enjoying a sunset, relishing the mountain-top view, soaking in the calm ocean, finding peace in a still river, dancing in the rain…the list goes on! The problem is that there aren’t enough of these moments as we get too occupied with our jobs, daily chores. Seeking to find the beauty at every moment and every circumstance in life is one of the many keys to true happiness.

Often we fail to get amazed at the beauty of our existence, how we arrived at this moment in time. Whether it was a God (or gods) that brought us here, or an inestimable accumulation of evolutionary accidents, both are equally humbling and wondrous if we think about them. Both make ordinary situations just as beautiful as epic ones.

Came across this lovely poem by the economist Russ Roberts called “Wonder, Bread”. Below are a few lines…

If you look down upon a city with the widest bird’s eye view
You might wonder how it functions, who takes care of me and you?

Who makes sure there’s food for vegans, and for carnivores as well
It seems like there’s a wizard who has cast a magic spell

Just think of one small part—who makes sure there’s so much bread?
You want rye, she wants ciabatta, or make it sourdough instead

A baguette or a croissant, it doesn’t matter, don’t you see?
You get yours and she get hers, and I get mine, how can that be?

One’s buying a dozen bagels to grace an impromptu brunch
One’s using food stamps for a simple loaf to make her children lunch

No matter the amount we require, no matter the choices we make
An army of workers has mobilized to fashion the bread we partake

The farmer who grows the wheat, the miller that grinds the flour
The baker and all of the others who work hour after hour

They’re all on their own, each one making independent decisions
But somehow their plans fit together with the highest degree of precision

So there must be a czar of wheat and flour, of trucks and of bread and yeast
To allocate and oversee and plan at the very least

For the unexpected change, what if today’s not like yesterday
It never is, though, is it? So who keeps chaos away?

Because there’s order all around us. Things look as if they’re planned
Like the supply of bread in a city–enough to match up with demand

And though flour is used for more than just bread, we never have to fight
Over where it goes and who gets what. So why do we sleep so well at night

Knowing nobody’s in charge, it looks like all is left to chance
Yet in New York, or London as well as Paris France

No one’s worried the shelves will be empty, we take supply for granted
But it’s a marvel, it’s a miracle, the world’s somehow enchanted

You can check out the whole poem here

Less Talk, More Action

We all know that it is easier to talk about something rather than it is to actually get something done. And why is that? Probably because making a point is easier for many reasons

We can do it from the comfort of our couch
Social media has made it so easy to air our views
You don’t have to get your hands dirty

Here are some key differences between making a point and making a difference:

Making a Point can take minutes. Making a Difference can take months, if not years.
Making a Point brings you all the attention. Making a Difference demands all of your attention
Making a Point changes views sometimes. Making a Difference changes lives ALWAYS

When all is said and done, making a point doesn’t take much and doesn’t cost much. The common phrase holds true: talk is cheap. This doesn’t mean that there is no space or value in communicating what one believes. What it does mean is that simply making a point should never be the end game. Making a difference should always be it.

We need to run away from being keyboard warriors, armchair critics, and sidewalk saints who love the ideas of change but never want to act to effect the change. Next time you’re scrolling through your social media and you see something that triggers that instinct, respond with a rebuttal pause and ask yourself,

“What can I do besides just making a point that will ultimately make a difference?”

The Sinking Ship

A couple went for a cruise tour to enjoy their private honeymoon while leaving their children at home. Unfortunately, the cruise ship was sinking due to catastrophic weather condition.

The couple finally made their way to the lifeboat area but there was only space for one person left. The man jumped onto the lifeboat, leaving his wife on the sinking ship…

The wife stood on the sinking ship and shouted to her husband saying…

The teacher paused the above story and asked her students in the classroom, “Let us guess. What do you think she shouted to her husband?”

Most students answered altogether: “I hate you! I was blinded by love!”

The teacher noticed that there was a student who sat quietly and asked him. The student answered, “Teacher, I believe she would have shouted – Take care of our children!”

The teacher was shocked and asked: “Have you heard this story before?”

The student shook his head and said, “Nope, but before my mother passed away to disease, she told my father the exact same words!”

The teacher was amazed and praised: “Your answer is excellent!”

The cruise sunk and the man returned home and brought up their children single-handedly.

Many years later after the death of the man, their daughter who had been accusing her father found her father’s diary while tidying his belongings, and she found out the truth.

It turns out that when her parent went onto the cruise ship, the mother was already diagnosed with an incurable disease. During the crucial moment on the sinking ship, her father rushed to the only space left on the lifeboat.

He wrote in his diary, “I wanted to sink with you together on the sinking cruise. But for our children, I could only let you sink alone into the deep cold ocean bed.”

The daughter burst into tears after reading this diary.

The teacher finished the story and the whole class went silent.

The teacher knew that her students had understood the moral of the story that she wanted to pass on to them. In this world there are good and evil. Sometimes the situation could be very complicated and indistinguishable of good and bad.

So, we must not jump to conclusion easily and look at the surface only. We must not make hasty decision or assumption without any attempt of investigation or using our critical thinking. We must not judge others without understanding them first. We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Lead by Example

When I think of leading by example, the first person that comes to mind is Pope Francis. I still vividly remember the tv coverage for the first few days after his election. On the day he was elected Pope, he broke several hitherto practised protocols: he preferred his ordinary black shoes to the papal red ones; instead of taking the Pope’s limousine waiting for him, he jumped into the bus to go to his residence. After he was elected Pope he chose to live in Santa Marta, a hostel, rather than the Apostolic Palace and chose to wear a simple mitre and vestments.

The Church, its clergy and laity, have lofty ideals and opinions on poverty, simplicity and love for the less fortunate. Most of us fall into the “do as I say, but not as I do” style of living. But here was a man who walked the talk. Right from the moment when he was made Cardinal in 2001 he asked his friends and well-wishers from Buenos Aires not to come to Rome but to give that money for the welfare of the poor. As a Cardinal he left his official residence and lived in an apartment; he cooked his own dinner. He travelled by ordinary public transport rather than the official conveyance.

There is a fascinating story about Gandhi that can really teach us something about leadership. The story is about a woman whose son was addicted to sugar. No matter what she did she could not fix this addiction in her son. Doctors, friends and relatives all told the young boy to stop eating sugar because it is not good for him, but he wouldn’t listen. Finally the mother decided to take her son to see Gandhi to see if the son would listen to this well respected, wise and pious man.

The waited in line to meet Gandhi for a very long time and when they finally got to him the mother explained that her son was addicted to sugar. She told Gandhi her son would not listen to anyone telling him not to eat sugar, but surely he will listen to you. Gandhi told the woman to come back in two weeks and he would help them. The woman was confused, but did what he said.

Two weeks later the mother and son returned to Gandhi. The mother explained to Gandhi that they had been there two weeks before and that her son is still addicted to sugar. Gandhi looked at the boy and said, “Son, you should stop eating sugar”. The mother was again confused and asked Gandhi why they had to wait two weeks when that was all he was going to say. Gandhi replied, “Two weeks ago I myself was addicted to sugar. How can I tell somebody else to stop doing something, when I am doing that same thing?”

The third person that inspires me is Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart. He strove to ensure that Walmart was the low cost retailer. He understood the virtue of keeping costs down in order to achieve this. So when he went on business trips he flew economy (coach) and shared a hotel room. Even when he was a billionaire he shared a low cost ($50.00) hotel room with a colleague. Saving? $25.00! In a billion dollar empire.
What was the point?

Sam wanted to create a culture of cost awareness within Walmart that would drive growth through a low cost advantage. What better way than to lead by example!

Reach New Heights

It’s more natural to think that if a plane takes off in the same direction as the wind, the wind will help it gain speed and make the take off easier. Wouldn’t moving against the wind create more resistance? However it turns out that going against the wind allows the plane to lift off a lot quicker.

The airplane has no chance of getting off the ground unless it has some opposition. It’s got to go into the wind to be lifted to the heights of its possibility. We are often faced with the winds of opposition, the winds of adversity. There are two things that could happen

They can send us adrift, send us off the track, take us away from our goals.
They can lift us, life us to a higher ground, to new heights.

An Example

When Beethoven was 26 years old, he started experiencing hearing problems which later became total deafness. Yet, Beethoven went on to compose some of his greatest accomplishments after his hearing loss. He had a strong passion for music, and even though everything seemed to be going against him, he showed tremendous determination to overcome his challenge and fulfill his desire to compose.

Challenges are not the issue; it is our individual response to those challenges. If a challenge is seen as an insurmountable roadblock then that is what it becomes. But, if the challenge is seen in terms of finding a solution, then you are on your way to further your goal.

The air itself tries to drag a plane back as it tries to push through the air and gravity wants to pull it down – but with enough thrust and lift, you can overcome both – apply the same principle to your challenges – let your resolve and your positive attitude act as your thrust, then see how much lift it creates for you.

Chip Away At Yourself Everyday

On August 16, 1501, Michelangelo was chosen to the execute the herculean task of sculpting the greatest sculpture ever created, The David. Shortly after receiving the commission, Michelangelo set to work. From a massive block of marble excavated in Northern Tuscany, he chipped away, day after day, week after week, month after month…until just over two years later he’d finished the massive undertaking.

The David is a one-piece marble wonder. The marble block, previously rejected by 2 other artists, waited 42 years for Michelangelo to find it and create his 17 foot high masterpiece. He took the enormous block of marble and chiseled away until he uncovered the sublime beauty that lay inside.

And this is precisely what we need to do with ourselves. Our block of marble is the totality of our entire being. We need to chip away at our grievances, grudges, insecurities, fears, anxieties, pride, vulnerabilities and feelings of superiority and inferiority that we all possess to one degree or another.

Shedding yourself of yourself takes precedence over everything. Why? Because getting closer and closer to our true selves makes us better at everything. Better parents, better friends, better workers, better human beings.

To get a little scientific, a body in motion, stays in motion and a body at rest, stays at rest. Almost all effort is used up in the initial change. For instance, take the rocket. It uses up 90% of it’s fuel getting off the ground. The rest is smooth sailing! So for us, who are bodies at rest, know that the hardest part is initial blast, the start. Put that first small investment into yourself and the rest will follow.

People are often seeing crying when they first set eyes on The David. The sheer size, vitality and force of the statue is emotionally overpowering. The true self deep within us is probably a thousand times more powerful, majestic and beautiful than The David. Our primary job in life is to unearth, with the relentlessness and patience exhibited by Michelangelo, that true self. It’s the greatest thing we can do not just for ourselves, but for the world.

Sincere Friends

I am indeed blest to have friends who I can trust. The truth is nobody wants to deal with friends they can’t trust to give their sincere opinion. You always want to know your friends’ opinion instead of them just accepting whatever you say to them because you are friends. If there is no sincerity and honesty between friends then that relationship is not worth it, One way or the other honesty is a way of showing respect to your friends and it proves that you are not fake.

A sincere friend will find a way to tell you something that may be difficult for you to hear. For example, he/she will tell you if she suspects you drink too much even if saying that to you presents the possibility that you may become angry and irrational and walk away from the friendship. Dr. Alex Lickerman states in an article on the Psychology Today website that a sincere friend is not malicious; they will point out things that may be hard to hear only when they believe that telling you this information is in your best interests.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:6

Telling your friends something they really don’t want to hear takes courage. It says that you care about the person even more than you value the friendship. However, as we all know, it isn’t very easy to have these conversations. It isn’t easy to look your friend in the eye and tell them the truth about how you feel. Also, there is a very fine line between showing concern and coming across as judging your friend’s actions/words. We’ve been on both sides I am sure. Sometimes the friend you feel is judging you isn’t the enemy. On some occasions they are just brave enough to take the flack, in the hope that you’ll do what is in your best interest. It’s always helpful to think about whether or not you are being arbitrarily criticised or whether it is coming from a sincere place of concern.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate those who have the courage to tell you what you don’t want to hear – but need to hear.

Here’s a lovely poem by Edgar A. Guest

I hold no dream of fortune vast,
Nor seek undying fame.
I do not ask when life is past
That many know my name.

I may not own the skill to rise
To glory’s topmost height,
Nor win a place among the wise,
But I can keep the right.

And I can live my life on earth
Contented to the end,
If but a few shall know my worth
And proudly call me friend.

It’s never too late to change your life

Too often we catch ourselves on autopilot mode, caught in the same routine, the same 9-5 grind. Unhappy, unfulfilled, and uninspired we go through life counting time instead of making time count. While it is perfectly normal to crave routine, there is so much more to be discovered outside of our comfort zones.

We tend to create clutter and remain stagnant when we are doing the same old things
Julie Coraccio

I read this story of Liz Berman on Readers Digest.

“I started off making cakes for my kids and quickly realized that baking provided me with a creative outlet that had been missing from my work in human resources. I started posting pictures of my work on Facebook and soon developed a large following. Friends and friends of friends started asking me to make cakes for them, so I figured I should give this a shot as a business! After several years baking at night while working in my office during the day, I decided to take the leap and go full-time with it. That was five years ago and I never looked back! Since then, the business has grown dramatically! It was clearly the best decision for me because it taps into a creative and entrepreneurial side of me that had previously been unfulfilled. The added bonus is I’m able to be home for my kids every day when they come home from school!”

Life can feel overwhelming. Often we weave these complicated webs consisting of commitment, money, work, friends, family and more that seem to hold us in one place. But life is flexible and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, the people who love you will always bend with you to help you change yours if you really need to.

It is never too late to change your life and go after your dreams. You are never stuck. It is never impossible or out of reach. All you have to do is make a start.

Hope you enjoy this song: Change ~ by Above Only

The Power of Appreciation

When was the last time you told someone that you appreciate them? It is something we often take for granted, especially with the people we love and appreciate the most. Sometimes this happens because we’re around them all of the time. Sometimes it’s because we think they surely know how we feel about them. Or sometimes it’s just because we don’t really know or feel comfortable saying it, because it’s personal.

A few weeks back, I made the last trip to office to submit my laptop and other assets as I prepared to move to a new company. It was a very cold feeling for me as it was just a transaction at the security desk and I could not even go to my desk for the last time. I felt low and sad. I was fortunate to meet a colleague that I worked with during the pandemic. He had to make a trip to the office to collect a laptop. It was the first time we were meeting in person. And he took the opportunity to thank me for a making a difference to his life. His words touched me deeply and completely changed my mood and uplifted my spirits.

Appreciation is indeed powerful!

Sometime back I had come across the 4 keys of appreciation: ISOS

Immediate
Express your appreciation immediately, even if it is over a text/Whatsapp/call. Sometimes we want to do something special which may take time. Seize the moment and do it right away! You can always do more later

Specific
Being specific makes it all the more special. Instead of “thank you for all the help”, try “thank you for helping me get that report submitted in time”

Often
Don’t be stingy! Give thank often, appropriately and creatively!

Sincere
Say it only if you mean it. People can easily make out if you are faking it.

The greatest good you can do for another is not to share your riches, but to reveal theirs
Benjamin Disraeli

Reveal the riches in others by expressing appreciation for what you see. The gift of appreciation is indeed the greatest gift you can give. Tell someone today what a difference they have made in your life. Then watch the difference you make in theirs!