Joy vs Happiness

I was always confused about the difference between joy and happiness. Some say that joy is just a state of mind which is focused on seeking positivity, pleasant experiences, positive thoughts while happiness is based on circumstances, external factors. As I see it, joy is something deeper, something more profound. Joy brings you comfort and peace no matter what the circumstance. Hence joy is a feeling that can be shared with other emotions like grief, fear, sadness. The difference between joy and happiness lives in the mind and heart. But more importantly, joy is a choice.

  • Joy is in the heart. Happiness is on the face.
  • Joy is of the soul. Happiness is of the moment.
  • Joy transcends. Happiness reacts.
  • Joy embraces peace and contentment, waiting to be discovered.
  • Joy runs deep and overflows, while happiness hugs hello.
  • Joy is a practice and a behavior. It’s deliberate and intentional. Happiness comes and goes blithely along its way.
  • Joy is profound and Scriptural. “Don’t worry, rejoice.” Happiness is a balm. “Don’t worry, be happy.”
  • Joy is an inner feeling. Happiness is an outward expression.
  • Joy endures hardship and trials and connects with meaning and purpose.
  • A person pursues happiness but chooses joy.

I read somewhere that choosing joy is like choosing love. It’s not something done once and forgotten. Choosing is a habit. Many times a day, each and every day, married couples overlook the imperfections of their spouses. They choose to see beyond the particular circumstances of a moment and extend grace to one another. Similarly, choosing joy requires us to look beyond our immediate circumstance to connect with a bigger picture. Joy requires connection.

Choosing joy begins with being grateful. Starting your day with gratitude will make a big difference to how your day goes. And ending your day with gratitude for all that has happened will give you a good nights sleep!

Joy is contagious, as we exude more joy, all those we encounter will also be touched by our joyful heart. Are you ready to make choosing joy a fantabulous habit? :)

Look forward

Have you seen the movie “Up”? It is a story is based on a man who can’t let go of his past. For most of the movie, Carl Frederickson clings to his past with his wife who had recently passed away. He is obssessed with taking Ellie, his wife, to Paradise falls, their dream destination. Ultimately Carl realises that he can’t get Ellie back and that it is time to move on and look ahead to a future that holds new possibilities.

We all have something in our past that is very difficult to let go of. It could be past relationships, mistakes. Yes, it is important to learn from the past, learn from our mistakes. Also equally important is to accept what has happened, be grateful for all the experiences we’ve had in the past, the good as well as the not so good. Each experience has taught us something, each experience has helped us grow. And where necessary, forgive yourself for some of the bad choices you’ve made. It’s ok, we all make mistakes.

We can shape our future, we have control over our choices, our actions. If we get caught up in our past, we will miss out on our present, the opportunities at hand. Your best days are ahead of you.

There’s this beautiful analogy of the car where we have both, the windshield as well as a rearview mirror. The windshield helps you to see what is ahead of you and the rearview mirror helps you to see what’s behind you. When we want to move ahead, we focus on the road ahead by looking through the windshield, and if we do need to reverse, then we keep our focus on the rearview mirror. What would happen if we keep our focus on the rearview mirror while driving ahead? Absolute recipe for disaster right?

Here’s a lovely poem by Lenora McWhorter

Look not back on yesterday
or what you have left behind.
For only today is yours to claim, 
and this moment only is your time.

Fret not on what has been
or on what has passed you by.
Yesterday is far behind you.
You can’t change it if you try.

New opportunities await you.
They come with each new day,
so look ahead with faith and hope,
and blessings will come your way.

Keep faith alive in your heart.
Live full and live well each day.
Do all the good for all you can
to all those who pass your way.

Yesterday is out of your reach
and tomorrow is not yours to claim.
Only this moment belongs to you.
So use it wisely, in heaven’s name.

Taking the Leap

Here’s a lovely story on dealing with obstacles.

Two students were asked to meet their teacher at the start of a track through the forest.

He gave them instructions to follow the path to its conclusion, in preparation for a test later in the week. 

The path had two sides, one side was clear and smooth, the other side had fallen logs and other obstacles in the way.

One student chose to avoid the obstacles, running around them and taking the easiest path to the end.  He felt clever as he dodged through without hindrance.

The second student chose to tackle the obstacles, battling through every challenge in his path.

The student who chose the easy path finished first and felt proud of himself.  “I’m glad that I chose to avoid the boulders and logs, they were only there to slow me down,” he thought to himself.

The second student arrived at the finish feeling tired and regretting the path that he had chosen.

The teacher nodded and smiled at them both.  He requested that they join him at a specific location in three days.

When they arrived, they could see that there was a ravine that was a few metres wide.

The students looked at their teacher and he said just one word.

“Jump!”

The first student looked at the distance and his heart sank. 

The teacher looked at him.

“What’s wrong?  This is the leap to greatness.  Everything that you have done until now should have prepared you for this moment.”

The student shrugged his shoulders and walked away, knowing that he hadn’t prepared adequately for greatness.

The second student looked at the teacher and smiled nervously. 

He knew now that the obstacles that had been placed in his path were part of his preparation. 

He knew now that by choosing to overcome challenges, not avoid them, he was ready to make the leap.

He measured his run up, sprinted towards the ravine and launched himself into the air. 

He made it!

If you too want to make the leap to greatness, you must first understand that life is meant to be a series of challenges that we overcome, not avoid.

The messiness,  the difficult conversations, the hard work, the discipline, acting boldly when you don’t feel like it.  That’s part of the deal.

Don’t pray that God will remove the obstacles, pray that he will give you the strength to overcome them.

And then take the leap!

Fill the Gap

When I read this post, I was taken back to my younger days. My dad passed away when I was three and growing up with a single working parent isn’t all that easy. There are so so many people who went out of their way to “fill the gap”, who were there for us. Family and friends were always around to support my mummy.

I’ve always believed that ALL human beings are fundamentally loving and good, and we will always care for each other.

When I was down with covid in April, our neighbours, immediately came to our aid and went out of their way to help us with groceries and anything else we needed.

Here’s a lovely poem which I had saved. I’m not sure who the poet is…

You’re never alone, I’m always near,
When you’re troubled, down or blue.
All you have to do is call me,
I’m always here for you.

It doesn’t matter where I’m at,
It doesn’t matter when.
When you need someone to talk to,
I’m here to be your friend.

If you need someone to hold your hand,
or a hug to say I care.
If you need a shoulder to cry on,
for you I will be there.

So never think you are a burden,
when the weight gets to be to much.
You might find if look hard enough,
a good friend could be the right touch.

Let’s keep filling the gap, much needed during these difficult times! ❤️

No More Excuses

At some point, most of us have gotten fed-up of hearing the phrase “Follow your passion”. But the question is are you following your passion today? Research shows that only 20% of full-time employees are truly passionate about their jobs.

Some individuals happen to be in the right place at the right time, while others encounter career-killing pitfalls. There’s no way of knowing which direction your career will take. And while you can’t dictate everything, you can control certain aspects.

Here are some common excuses we hear:

  1. I don’t have the time
  2. I don’t have the resources
  3. I’m too old/young
  4. I don’t know enough right now
  5. I might fail

If Steve Jobs would’ve waited to have it all figured out before he invented the personal computer, nothing would’ve been done. If Mark Zuckerberg felt the need to graduate from college before launching Facebook, the social network may not exist today. Do you think these guys had it all figured out when they started chasing their dreams? The answer is no.

One key aspect that I have learned is that pursuing your passion doesn’t mean doing what is fun or what brings us joy. But rather, it is about doing what you care about. The distinction is subtle, but very meaningful. Focusing on what you care about aligns your passion with your values and the impact you want to have. This also makes you more resilient and helps you persevere through the hardships, helps you weather the storms that come your way.

The German word for passion, “Leidenschaft,” literally translates to “the ability to hardship.” If you’re passionate about something in Germanic cultures, you don’t necessarily enjoy it. Leidenschaft is about knowing the pursuit will be unpleasant but tolerating it because the outcome is worth the cost. 

In Eastern Europe, passion can also be understood as cierpienie (which roughly translates to “suffering” in Polish). It’s a word that describes having a calling, but without any implications of deriving pleasure. You have no choice but to endure it, even when the outcome is not necessarily positive. 

The reality is that passion wanes over time, so if you just focus on following happiness, you might not stick with an endeavor like you would if you focused on how it helps you achieve what you care most about. When you’re pursuing your passion, it’s important to bear in mind that resilience is key, because the pursuit of passion is an ongoing—and challenging—process.

Here’s an awesome video to motivate you, to fire you up! No more excuses!

What to do instead of comparing?

We often catch ourselves playing the comparison game. Each of us have our own triggers that cause us to fall into the trap of comparing, thus resulting in our confidence taking a nose dive! We all know the gut wrenching feeling that arises when we see or hear something that immediately has us second guessing our appearance, personality, or skill set. The more we scroll through our feeds on social media, the more likely we are to start comparing ourselves to others, sometimes with people we have not even met!

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Steve Furtick

Most of the time we highlight the best versions of ourselves instead of the real versions. Life can be hard, ugly, and downright depressing at times. But those likely aren’t the adjectives most of us would use to describe the photos we post onto our accounts. And then we compare our realities with the incomplete, one-sided reality of our friends and connections on social media. We use the same scale to measure two completely different realities!

So what do we do instead of comparing? Well the easiest would be to reduce your time on things that trigger these comparisons. And focus on things that really matter. For example, if you envy the well-sculpted body of the trainer or model you’ve been following on Insta, make time to focus on starting your exercise routine.

More importantly assess where those negative comparisons are stemming from and figure out how to overcome the same. The next time you make an unfair comparison, instead of allowing it to make you feel poorly about yourself, view it as an opportunity for a little self-evaluating.

Another thing that helps me is to change my mindset from comparing to complimenting. Rather than get into being jealous about something, find something you admire and compliment them. Being genuinely happy for someone else changes your mood entirely and keeps you positive and brightens up not only your day but theirs as well!

And along with complimenting others, make sure you find your awesome! We are all unique, talented and gifted. You have talents, traits, and accomplishments that make you who you are. Find your awesome and you will find that you are less affected by others.

The power of each of our individual uniqueness is that it’s the one thing someone else can’t match – no one can be as good of a version of me than I can be when I set my mind to being my very best self. So, get in touch with what unique gifts you bring to the world, then devote yourself to cultivating the things that light you up and cause you to overflow with energy and love.

You don’t know everything!

The first time I heard of Bill Nye was on the Big Bang Theory! His show, Bill Nye The Science Guy, was such a hit it was nominated for 23 Emmy Awards and won 19! After his show was over in 1998, he continued trying to make the world a better place through education. Now he has a show on Netflix called Bill Nye Saves the World. It’s geared more towards adults and he talks about problems the planet is currently facing.

Bill Nye said, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t” in 2014, while he was giving the commencement speech for UMass Lowell. He went on to describe different professions like mechanics and cooks and how they are experts in their own field. He said, “Respect their knowledge. Learn from them. It will bring out the best in both of you.” Then he challenged everyone to “question things,” claiming that there will be world-changing discoveries in our lifetime. His main point was to inspire the students to change the world for the better.

I identified strongly with this quote especially when I am at work. In my line of work, there is so much that changes at such a rapid pace and I am constantly learning through my interactions with my team mates. Even when it comes to programming, there are so many ways to achieve the same result. And I am amazed when I come across an implementation or a piece of code done in a way that didn’t even cross my mind.

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew.

Colors of the Wind ~ Disney’s Pocahontas

You can’t know everything, that’s impossible. This is because people are unique; they have different life experiences and possess skillsets different from everyone else.

As a result, someone along the way will know something that you don’t. This is why you should respect and listen to everyone. Keeping an open mind and listening to not only those you believe to be smarter or better than you at something, will benefit everyone. We shouldn’t feel upset or threatened that we don’t know everything. We should use it as an opportunity for learning and bettering ourselves.

The Trap of Likes

Most of us tend to keep checking who has liked the photos we’ve posted on Instagram or Facebook. And even start comparing the number of likes our posts have received over others. When I started this blog and started sharing articles as part of my Whatsapp stories, I too would keep checking to see how many have viewed my story. And the kind of reactions my posts get.

In an age where we can perfectly showcase our whole life on social media for everyone to see, like, comment, congratulate and approve, it is but natural to have a sneaky sense of comparison. And we get stuck in the trap of craving for likes and affirmation from all and sundry. And don’t worry about it, you are not alone! We look for attention on social media thanks to a hormone called dopamine.

Dopamine is one of the brain’s neurotransmitters and the “feel-good” hormone that helps regulate emotional responses and other functions, such as motivation. Your brain releases dopamine when you experience pleasure. People want to release dopamine; the dark side of the hormone helps explain why people become addicted to drugs and even social media. Dopamine causes us to seek, desire, and search. Dopamine is stimulated by unpredictability, by small bits of information, and by reward cues—pretty much the exact conditions of social media.The pull of dopamine is so strong that studies have shown posting is harder for people to resist than cigarettes and alcohol.

But life is way more than likes on Instagram! There is so much more to life than just what we portray or see what others showcase on social media. Our self-worth is not found in likes. Are you still going to be Instagram-ing when you’re 80-years-old? Are the ‘likes’ that you are working for now going to help you land your first job? Is posting the photo with better lighting going to keep the lights on in your apartment?

Here are a few places you can find your worth if you still feel like your online feed is your ideal life: your work, accomplishments, relationships, ability to empathize with others, attitude, contributions to society, how you impact others, and your drive to make yourself successful, happy, and whatever else it is your inner desire feels.

In this day and age, we can become so consumed and lost in translation when it comes to the imagery of our lives online. May our self-worth and value never be based on the likes we receive but on the love we show all who we encounter everyday! :)

Marvan Atapattu

An amazing story on Marvan Attapattu, Srilankan Cricketer.

It’s a story that Harsha Bhogle, India’s most loved cricket commentator, loves to tell, over and over again.

Making his debut in Test cricket for Sri Lanka, Marvan scored a duck in his first innings. And again, in his second innings.

They dropped him. So he went back to the nets for more practice. More first-class cricket. More runs. Waiting for that elusive call.

And after twenty-one months, he got a second chance.

This time, he tried harder. His scores: 0 in the first innings, 1 in the second Dropped again, he went back to the grind. And scored tonnes of runs in first-class cricket. Runs that seemed inadequate to erase the painful memories of the Test failures.

Well, seventeen months later, opportunity knocked yet again. Marvan got to bat in both innings of the Test. His scores: 0 and 0. Phew!

Back to the grind. Would the selectors ever give him another chance? They said he lacked big-match temperament.

His technique wasn’t good enough at the highest level. Undaunted, Marvan kept trying.

Three years later, he got another chance. This time, he made runs. He came good. And in an illustrious career thereafter, Marvan went on to score over 5000 runs for Sri Lanka. That included sixteen centuries and six double hundreds.

And he went on to captain his country. All this despite taking over six years to score his second run in Test cricket. Wow ! What a guy!

How many of us can handle failure as well as he did ? Six years of trying, and failing. He must have been tempted to pursue another career. Change his sport perhaps. Play county cricket. Or, oh well, just give up. But he didn’t. And that made the difference.

The next time you are staring at possible failure or rejection, think of Marvan.

And remember this: If you don’t give up, if you believe in yourself, if you stay the course, runs will eventually come. What’s more, you could even become a leader one day.

One more thing, Marvan Attapattu is a qualified Chartered Accountant.

Debating with Donkeys

The donkey said to the tiger, ‘The grass is blue.’ Tiger said, ‘No grass is green.’

Then the discussion between the two became intense.

Both of them are firm in their own words. To end this controversy, both went to Lion – King of Jungle.

In the middle of the animal kingdom, sitting on the throne was a lion.

The donkey started yelling before the tiger could say anything. “Your Highness, the grass is blue, isn’t it?” Lion said, ‘Yes! The grass is blue. ‘

Donkey, ‘This tiger does not believe. Annoys me He should be punished properly. ‘ The king declared, ‘Tiger will be jailed for a year. King’s verdict was heard by donkey and he was jumping in joy in entire jungle. The tiger was sentenced to one-year jail. ‘

The Tiger went to the Lion and asked, ‘Why Your Highness! Grass is green, isn’t it? ‘ Lion said, ‘Yes! Grass is green.’ Tiger said, ‘… then why am I sentenced to jail? ‘

Lion said, “you did not get punished for the grass being blue Or green.

You have been punished for debating with that stupid donkey.

Brave and intelligent creatures like you have argued with a donkey and have come here to get a decision”

Moral of the story…. 👇
Don’t Ever Debate or Argue With Donkey – Better Leave Them In Their Own World Of Fantasies